oh this should be good, considering how all that should've changed but simply couldn't. still mixing drinks with low self esteem. new endeavors meets new failures every week. kissing the back of my hand constantly so my lips know the feeling. love struck and pathetic is my means of living. cast me out to break the spell. if living's this bad than ( Read more... )

i'm trying not to be investing this cheap. and turning this cheek away from feelings that are too weak. but hey, i'm hardly losing what i've barely gained. what with living this life outside of electronic frames. but that's when hearts get walked over and you're left with shit for brains. and maybe this is the moment that kick starts the insane. ( Read more... )

you know how your knuckles bleed in the winter? or how you think deep with the lights down? and turn the volume up when you're the only one listening. get that movie stuck in your head like a stake. think of conversations both real and make believe. that one love that just wouldn't shut up and settle for me. the shaking to keep from the cold freeze ( Read more... )

take your coat off. imaginary throat hug scarf. shoes, bag, keys sang when thrown on the counter top drag. i do with mine what you do with your things. follow you around the room, looking for my comfort zone blues. i'm the last to take a seat, between you and the door to leave. this new place feels old to me. just trying to act as comfortable as ( Read more... )

it's funny how i laugh at pain. get dry eyed when i should close the lids. thrive off insane and the footsteps from the above floor laid. this is me - concentrate and wide eyed, looking to escape. i love all your heart break. let it all fall like rain. after all we're all human if only you can ( Read more... )

i still think i want to die. this life is such bullshit most of the time. and it's not just one or two things, it's almost everything now. the only point was the end of this pen and even that's run dry. it's really just the coldness that keeps me feeling alive. god (don't) help me. i don't deserve a try.

you know what i love? fucking hating love. oh my god, just leave me alone - i'm done. these are brain washing experiments - far from real feelings. which i am unable to heal with. no more songs, movies or situations. clear this mind like eternal sunshine. no more short lived fun to just crumble to dust when the other person's moved on. don't think ( Read more... )

fucking shit. delete what was written ( Read more... )

split screen this shit. like my used up heart. i could care less but i'm such a hopeful mess. you were the last bitch, this is it. i've gotten sick from this last time lesson. i'd rather die unhappy and pathetic. em taught me how to deal with rejection. truck, rope and duct tape fun so- how would you know? what i'm capable of? i'm secretly a crazy ( Read more... )

god, this is why i don't care much for love ( Read more... )