Jun 16, 2008 12:57
seroxat,
self harm,
meds,
mood,
therapy,
depression,
rambling,
prostap,
pms,
lustral,
life,
livial,
kliovance,
menopause,
physical health,
effexor,
reflection,
mental health,
zispin,
suicide,
lamotrigine,
house,
diazepam
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I wanna know what we are trying to treat. I wanna see how bad the depression/pms is on it's own. At the moment it feels like everything is a reaction to something else.
I'm not expecting to be off meds forever. Hell I'm not expecting to be off everything for very long at all. What I am looking at is 2 months (I'd say 1 but will take my body a while to level out) to see how bad it really is. Then back on to whatever is appropriate. Just a break I guess. I know that my depression is, as Dr Hore put it today, severe with severe underlined. And that before I went on the Prostap it was impossible to control with impossible underlined. But I worry that the severity of the pms was a result of the pill I was on. More and more it's been troubling me that I don't remember being so pre menstrally suicidal before being on trinordial. When things are happening I forget things, hell I forget things all the time. I wanna be sure that we are treating my pms rather than a side effect of a long gone drug. That make any sense?
It is risky, I could backslide far and quickly. But in theory going back on the Prostap will correct things again. There shouldn't be any problem with that. I need to talk to Dr Sief about it. Dr was dubious and slightly worried. He said that a lot of people, when they get manic want to come off all thier meds, and feel like they are no longer ill and don't want to accept the possibility of being ill. I know I'm ill. I'm not trying to run away from that fact at all. I just want to re evalutate things again. Start from scratch. He says he understands that. And I know that if I got really bad then no matter how long it had been I will be going back to Dr Hore and back to Dr Sief and asking to be put back on the Prostap and maybe try some old anti d's
It just seems like the Prostap isn't working well with the ad back and I need to start things again, treating how I am now rather than how i was several years ago.
I wouldn't do it before our holiday as don't wanna be falling apart then. But this does feel like something I need to do.
You did make sense, and I most definatly do not want to loose all my hard work. But I think I need to do this.
Dans
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