The Adam's Homework Chronicles, Volume 3
This is the section about retirement. I hope his faggy teacher liked this one.
The book and lessons for this class clearly state that it is never too early to begin planning for retirement. For me, it is too early to begin planning for retirement. I will spend this discussion a little off topic for even though I have read the material, I feel at this stage in my life I am having trouble making the material relevant to myself. Allow me to explain. How on earth can a college student who only has about three days a week he can devote to work possible make enough money to pay for tuition, rent, food, clothes, a social life, etc? How on earth would any college student supporting themselves have the extra resources to start planning for retirement? You may now try to interject by saying such unneeded phrases as "perhaps you should start cutting out things in your budget like having a social life". Name one twenty three year old who would choose to start saving for retirement over having a social life and then proceed to stop talking. I, in the prime of my youth and physical enamor, cannot possibly bring myself to think of such things as retirement. When a person my age thinks of retirement they often think of sitting on a tropical island with the woman they want to grow old with (whom oddly enough in the dream is the 20 year old they lust after now and they are at least 55), and the kids are all grown up and are hopefully beginning to start planning for retirement themselves. How is a person my age supposed to begin planning for retirement when I have yet to meet the woman of my dreams?
To me the planning for retirement is in essence a distraction of what one must do over what one wants to do. That is why kids my age do not plan for retirement. I haven't even begun to figure out what I want to do with my life, how can I begin saving for what I ought to do with my life? For example. Give a kid a ten dollar bill and tell him to get you some Tylenol. The kid will go to the store, get the generic medicine for Tylenol , and buy a grip of candy for himself. In summation, any money kids get at our age is instantly spent upon items which they desire, not what they need. Say the word "estate" to a kid, and the first thing that pops into their head is "alright! Somewhere to party!" This train of thought seems to echo a recurring theme where the younger generations of America put off planning and saving for retirement later and later.
However, I do have a theory about why the younger generations of America are not planning for their retirement. The theory is stated as such, "The news media is the reason no one invests in retirement". Any person who has watched the news in the past year has been bombarded consistently with only a handful of headlines: Innocent people dying overseas, Mass Hadron Collider Going to Destroy the Planet, Apocolypse to Ensue, Mayan Calendar Ending in 2012, Apocolypse to Ensue, and Swine Flu Evelops the Nation, Apocolypse to Ensue. Anyone who watches television at least an hour a day is probably certain they are not going to live past the next decade, so why bother investing in retirement? Any Judeo-Christian person who watches the news is almost confident the messiah will return for either the first or second time in the next few years. Again, why plan for retirement? Even if these Americans are intelligent enough to understand that news articles are merely hype (however referring to the majority of the countries populace as intelligent is going out on a limb), the masses are no match for the commercials which haunt the interludes between newscasts. All commercials have a common theme which rings into the heart of people (I take this idea from an interview in the movie Bowling for Columbine). If you do not buy this toothpaste, your teeth will not be white, and no woman would ever like you. If you do not watch MTV and listen to exactly the music they tell you, no woman would think you were cool and will never like you, etc. All the people watching TV have now succumbed to the commercial media's attempt at scaring the public into buying their goods. Now people will be spending what little money they have left not on retirement, but on superfluous items which in no way will improve their self worth in the future. Perhaps instead of headlines like “this person died, this person died, shooting at the mall 4 dead, car crash on the interstate 2 dead, this person died, this person is dying” etc., etc., etc., if Ted Turner were to promote optimistic news stories like “children who start saving for retirement young turn out to be more prosperous in the future”, “don’t worry, the economy will rebound in no time”, and “Ellen Degeneres really Owen Wilson with a mask and tracks on his arm” then there would be no need to worry about our nations children; or no need to read this book.
The book and lessons for this class clearly state that it is never too early to begin planning for retirement. For me, it is too early to begin planning for retirement. I will spend this discussion a little off topic for even though I have read the material, I feel at this stage in my life I am having trouble making the material relevant to myself. Allow me to explain. How on earth can a college student who only has about three days a week he can devote to work possible make enough money to pay for tuition, rent, food, clothes, a social life, etc? How on earth would any college student supporting themselves have the extra resources to start planning for retirement? You may now try to interject by saying such unneeded phrases as "perhaps you should start cutting out things in your budget like having a social life". Name one twenty three year old who would choose to start saving for retirement over having a social life and then proceed to stop talking. I, in the prime of my youth and physical enamor, cannot possibly bring myself to think of such things as retirement. When a person my age thinks of retirement they often think of sitting on a tropical island with the woman they want to grow old with (whom oddly enough in the dream is the 20 year old they lust after now and they are at least 55), and the kids are all grown up and are hopefully beginning to start planning for retirement themselves. How is a person my age supposed to begin planning for retirement when I have yet to meet the woman of my dreams?
To me the planning for retirement is in essence a distraction of what one must do over what one wants to do. That is why kids my age do not plan for retirement. I haven't even begun to figure out what I want to do with my life, how can I begin saving for what I ought to do with my life? For example. Give a kid a ten dollar bill and tell him to get you some Tylenol. The kid will go to the store, get the generic medicine for Tylenol , and buy a grip of candy for himself. In summation, any money kids get at our age is instantly spent upon items which they desire, not what they need. Say the word "estate" to a kid, and the first thing that pops into their head is "alright! Somewhere to party!" This train of thought seems to echo a recurring theme where the younger generations of America put off planning and saving for retirement later and later.
However, I do have a theory about why the younger generations of America are not planning for their retirement. The theory is stated as such, "The news media is the reason no one invests in retirement". Any person who has watched the news in the past year has been bombarded consistently with only a handful of headlines: Innocent people dying overseas, Mass Hadron Collider Going to Destroy the Planet, Apocolypse to Ensue, Mayan Calendar Ending in 2012, Apocolypse to Ensue, and Swine Flu Evelops the Nation, Apocolypse to Ensue. Anyone who watches television at least an hour a day is probably certain they are not going to live past the next decade, so why bother investing in retirement? Any Judeo-Christian person who watches the news is almost confident the messiah will return for either the first or second time in the next few years. Again, why plan for retirement? Even if these Americans are intelligent enough to understand that news articles are merely hype (however referring to the majority of the countries populace as intelligent is going out on a limb), the masses are no match for the commercials which haunt the interludes between newscasts. All commercials have a common theme which rings into the heart of people (I take this idea from an interview in the movie Bowling for Columbine). If you do not buy this toothpaste, your teeth will not be white, and no woman would ever like you. If you do not watch MTV and listen to exactly the music they tell you, no woman would think you were cool and will never like you, etc. All the people watching TV have now succumbed to the commercial media's attempt at scaring the public into buying their goods. Now people will be spending what little money they have left not on retirement, but on superfluous items which in no way will improve their self worth in the future. Perhaps instead of headlines like “this person died, this person died, shooting at the mall 4 dead, car crash on the interstate 2 dead, this person died, this person is dying” etc., etc., etc., if Ted Turner were to promote optimistic news stories like “children who start saving for retirement young turn out to be more prosperous in the future”, “don’t worry, the economy will rebound in no time”, and “Ellen Degeneres really Owen Wilson with a mask and tracks on his arm” then there would be no need to worry about our nations children; or no need to read this book.