The Adam's Homework Chronicles, Volume 4
The fourth installment of doing Adam's homework was perhaps my favorite. I, in my infinite ingenuity, crafted a way to tie in cardboard boxes in the section that was supposed to be about my experiences with real estate as an investment. Here it goes.
This morning I awoke from an eternal slumber, looked out the window, and saw that the American economy was crashing down. I got in the bath and noticed the real estate bubble ascending from the benthos of the tub had burst. I turned on the television and saw Rick Moranis in his latest Hollywood blunder “Honey I Shrunk The Economy”. It was at this moment I realized that now is as good a time as ever to invest in real estate. However, being a young penniless college undergrad I had no clue how to go about considering real estate as an investment. I opened up my text book for clues, and here is what I found.
Real estate is an extremely diverse form of investing. There are opportunities for momentous monetary gains and drastic failures. Real estate is a field with more potential risks than bicycle couriers in a land mine field. However, with the proper guidance and patience in the market place, smart investments can be made. The thesis I pulled from the reading was “Buy low, sell high”. The point of investing in real estate is to use up some of one’s current resources and income on a property with the hopes of later selling the property at a greatly increased value of what it was purchased for. This of course is the same protocol for people who are either selling or using drugs, but that is a different topic. My friend’s mother is a real estate agent and I asked her for advice on this topic. However she was of little use as I cannot afford any of the houses she is trying to sell me. I think she missed the point.
From what I gather these harsh economic times have created a perfect market for buying real estate. Housing prices are low and properties are readily available. If one can afford to purchase and maintain these investments, when the economy turns around the investments will be worth a far greater amount than when they were purchased. However, I cannot afford to purchase anything right now, so that leaves me with little options. Let us assess the options I have anyways, so I can demonstrate my knowledge and expertise in the realm of real estate investment.
At my current income I can afford but a cardboard box to reside in. The cardboard box is a wise investment because it is cheap to manufacture and readily available in most dumpsters. This keeps the overhead on the initial investment low which nearly guarantees a profitable resale. However, the cardboard house is not impervious to rain, hail, thunder, gunshots, or political unrest so the investment is risky because there is a large chance the investment can be destroyed. Scotch Guard or Saran wrap can help to resolve some of these issues. Now there is one distinct advantage cardboard boxes have over contemporary homes and that is in their mobility. Unlike multi million dollar mansions or large scale commercial real estate, cardboard boxes can be moved with only a crew of one and without the need for heavy machinery. This gives the investor a distinct opportunity when the time is right to profit from the sale of his investment, and that is “Location location location”. What is often the selling point of any property is the land it is sitting on. Having a good view, a good neighborhood, etc, are all important aspects to any potential land buyer. The house my family lived in before the one we do now was originally listed at a very lucrative price. However, because there was a dangerous one way road to get to our house the value was literally cut in half! This is where the glory of cardboard living is most apparent. An investor can purchase a cardboard house for, say, 0 dollars if he knows where to look. The investor can then transport the abode to a very nice part of town, say a park, or very fancy gated West Hollywood community. The investor can then pitch to potential buyers the value of the land the cardboard is sitting on and can then turn over a lucrative profit. The only potential pitfall is that homeowners in the community could throw someone’s house in the trash. Fortunately cardboard houses are cryptic, so they will not be discarded when left unattended. Neighbors in a nice community will all assume someone’s cardboard house is actually just a box to be left out for recycling. The next day the house is gone, no questions asked. In reality the house has moved to the next street over where a similar concerned neighbor questions the presence of the cardboard box. However, the succeeding morning the box is gone and the cycle continues. This is why for a starving college student, a cardboard box is potentially the greatest investment one can make for their future.
This morning I awoke from an eternal slumber, looked out the window, and saw that the American economy was crashing down. I got in the bath and noticed the real estate bubble ascending from the benthos of the tub had burst. I turned on the television and saw Rick Moranis in his latest Hollywood blunder “Honey I Shrunk The Economy”. It was at this moment I realized that now is as good a time as ever to invest in real estate. However, being a young penniless college undergrad I had no clue how to go about considering real estate as an investment. I opened up my text book for clues, and here is what I found.
Real estate is an extremely diverse form of investing. There are opportunities for momentous monetary gains and drastic failures. Real estate is a field with more potential risks than bicycle couriers in a land mine field. However, with the proper guidance and patience in the market place, smart investments can be made. The thesis I pulled from the reading was “Buy low, sell high”. The point of investing in real estate is to use up some of one’s current resources and income on a property with the hopes of later selling the property at a greatly increased value of what it was purchased for. This of course is the same protocol for people who are either selling or using drugs, but that is a different topic. My friend’s mother is a real estate agent and I asked her for advice on this topic. However she was of little use as I cannot afford any of the houses she is trying to sell me. I think she missed the point.
From what I gather these harsh economic times have created a perfect market for buying real estate. Housing prices are low and properties are readily available. If one can afford to purchase and maintain these investments, when the economy turns around the investments will be worth a far greater amount than when they were purchased. However, I cannot afford to purchase anything right now, so that leaves me with little options. Let us assess the options I have anyways, so I can demonstrate my knowledge and expertise in the realm of real estate investment.
At my current income I can afford but a cardboard box to reside in. The cardboard box is a wise investment because it is cheap to manufacture and readily available in most dumpsters. This keeps the overhead on the initial investment low which nearly guarantees a profitable resale. However, the cardboard house is not impervious to rain, hail, thunder, gunshots, or political unrest so the investment is risky because there is a large chance the investment can be destroyed. Scotch Guard or Saran wrap can help to resolve some of these issues. Now there is one distinct advantage cardboard boxes have over contemporary homes and that is in their mobility. Unlike multi million dollar mansions or large scale commercial real estate, cardboard boxes can be moved with only a crew of one and without the need for heavy machinery. This gives the investor a distinct opportunity when the time is right to profit from the sale of his investment, and that is “Location location location”. What is often the selling point of any property is the land it is sitting on. Having a good view, a good neighborhood, etc, are all important aspects to any potential land buyer. The house my family lived in before the one we do now was originally listed at a very lucrative price. However, because there was a dangerous one way road to get to our house the value was literally cut in half! This is where the glory of cardboard living is most apparent. An investor can purchase a cardboard house for, say, 0 dollars if he knows where to look. The investor can then transport the abode to a very nice part of town, say a park, or very fancy gated West Hollywood community. The investor can then pitch to potential buyers the value of the land the cardboard is sitting on and can then turn over a lucrative profit. The only potential pitfall is that homeowners in the community could throw someone’s house in the trash. Fortunately cardboard houses are cryptic, so they will not be discarded when left unattended. Neighbors in a nice community will all assume someone’s cardboard house is actually just a box to be left out for recycling. The next day the house is gone, no questions asked. In reality the house has moved to the next street over where a similar concerned neighbor questions the presence of the cardboard box. However, the succeeding morning the box is gone and the cycle continues. This is why for a starving college student, a cardboard box is potentially the greatest investment one can make for their future.