The Perils Of Eating Spicy Food
I must say, I really do love spicy food, but it's one of those things that is way different coming out than going in. One way is warm and inviting, the other is hot and downright painful. Sometimes after I eat a nice hefty Chipotle burrito or a smoothie made not from fruit but diced peppers, hot sauce, and the blood from a young lamb; when I have just pooped it out, the pain is so much I want nothing more than to run an ice cube around the rim of my butthole. And when I've wiped, the toilet paper just presses those few remaining flakes of cayenne pepper right against my hole, and it burns even worse. Im sure you can relate people. It hurts to stand up, it hurts to sit back down, you don't know what to do. You have no choice but to walk around bowlegged for the next few days. Come on, girls, you know what I'm talking about, I've seen you all wobbling around. At least you have an excuse to give us all! "Actually, my boyfriend IS a cowboy, and he likes to eat with his hat on".
On this thought, the worst comes when you have a spicy food induced diahhreal episode and you cant even make it to the toilet in time and you end up spraying hot lava all over your bathroom...or if you have to use a public toilet in which case you cannot touch the toilet seat and you must use arm strength to hover your anus above the toilet lid. In either case, small bit of chili flake and post digested salsa are on their way to a toiler seat near me, and once again, I must say, there is nothing I love better than sitting on a toilet seat and having chunks on the lid, whether it be from poo, barf, or gonorrheal piss. Call it a fetish.
On this thought, the worst comes when you have a spicy food induced diahhreal episode and you cant even make it to the toilet in time and you end up spraying hot lava all over your bathroom...or if you have to use a public toilet in which case you cannot touch the toilet seat and you must use arm strength to hover your anus above the toilet lid. In either case, small bit of chili flake and post digested salsa are on their way to a toiler seat near me, and once again, I must say, there is nothing I love better than sitting on a toilet seat and having chunks on the lid, whether it be from poo, barf, or gonorrheal piss. Call it a fetish.