I Just Cant Quit You, LJ.
I, as many of my loyal followers, heard the heart breaking news of the passing of one of Hollywood's best and brightest. I heard the news while on a break from work, through a grapevine stemming from someone I could care less about. But upon receiving the news, I was devastated, for there will no longer be any chance of a sequel to Ang Lee's timeless classic: Brokeback Mountain. But, with the grieving process, which lasted a whole ten (things I hate about you) minutes, also comes the healing process. And I, Benjamin T. Nutsack, find that the best way to heal oneself of current woes is to make light of the situation at hand.
And Thus, I, and fellow co-griever Davis East present to you:
Reflections Upon The Death Of Heath Ledger.
Davis brought up the healing process by first making sure those who hadn't heard the news, did:
" Heath Ledger was found dead yesterday afternoon from overdosing on sleep meds.
I heard he was researching a role for a new movie "Ten Pills I Ate Around Noon"."
Then the ideas spewed fourth:
"I could get lucky and replace Heath in the new porno Brokeback Mountain 2: Ten Things I Love About Poon"
"Smythius could replace his role in "Ten Girls I Banged Before Noon""
"Hitler came back to life just to star in Schindler's List 2: Ten Ovens That Smell Like Jews"
"I heard out of sympathy the studios are now going to let Heath's elderly dad star in the role hes always wanted "Two Girls One Cup 2: Ten Prunes I Shat Out On You"".
"I bet Heath's last two words were "I can't quit you", said to a bottle of Ambien.
" When asked if he would be returning for another Batman movie, Heath Ledger told movie executives, he'd "sleep on it"."
"When asked why he hasn't been doing many movies lately, Heath Ledger said "I can't focus on movies right now, I've been feeling a little boxed in""
"I bet Jack Nicholson turned on the news, thought back to his old role in Batman and said "Wow, looks like he'd been usin Brand X""
"I heard Heath was really distraught when he heard they were canceling his favorite HBO mini series "Six Feet Under". He was heard to remark "Well, at least I can always be "Pushing Daisies!""
"At least his fans can be happy now. He came from, and at least he's returning to, A Land Down Under."
That last one was ALL DAVIS. So Amazing. The healing process is complete. Anyone got any good ideas for a nice stiff drink Ive never tried? Something with taste, thats refined and is best served chilled. Something which is so sweet and full of essence. I have a great idea for a drink. BEER.
And Thus, I, and fellow co-griever Davis East present to you:
Reflections Upon The Death Of Heath Ledger.
Davis brought up the healing process by first making sure those who hadn't heard the news, did:
" Heath Ledger was found dead yesterday afternoon from overdosing on sleep meds.
I heard he was researching a role for a new movie "Ten Pills I Ate Around Noon"."
Then the ideas spewed fourth:
"I could get lucky and replace Heath in the new porno Brokeback Mountain 2: Ten Things I Love About Poon"
"Smythius could replace his role in "Ten Girls I Banged Before Noon""
"Hitler came back to life just to star in Schindler's List 2: Ten Ovens That Smell Like Jews"
"I heard out of sympathy the studios are now going to let Heath's elderly dad star in the role hes always wanted "Two Girls One Cup 2: Ten Prunes I Shat Out On You"".
"I bet Heath's last two words were "I can't quit you", said to a bottle of Ambien.
" When asked if he would be returning for another Batman movie, Heath Ledger told movie executives, he'd "sleep on it"."
"When asked why he hasn't been doing many movies lately, Heath Ledger said "I can't focus on movies right now, I've been feeling a little boxed in""
"I bet Jack Nicholson turned on the news, thought back to his old role in Batman and said "Wow, looks like he'd been usin Brand X""
"I heard Heath was really distraught when he heard they were canceling his favorite HBO mini series "Six Feet Under". He was heard to remark "Well, at least I can always be "Pushing Daisies!""
"At least his fans can be happy now. He came from, and at least he's returning to, A Land Down Under."
That last one was ALL DAVIS. So Amazing. The healing process is complete. Anyone got any good ideas for a nice stiff drink Ive never tried? Something with taste, thats refined and is best served chilled. Something which is so sweet and full of essence. I have a great idea for a drink. BEER.