bullets: ex-partner, Viv, moving, Kanika, LJ Idol

[belenen]

• Nothing's really changed with my ex since the comments-disabled post I made, but it's only when ze and I talk about us that I feel awful. Most of the time I'm just sort of neutral about it.
• Last week Viv and I talked about our relationship and how neither of us want to do a long-distance romance; it was a really wonderful talk, very open, and I felt a strong peace about it -- it just felt like the right time to shift the direction of things. Then the party/concert/show that Viv organized to raise money for moving fell through at the last minute (the DJ forgot about it!!!) so ze's going to be staying here for a bit longer. I don't know what that means for us, 'cause we haven't had a real talk since then, but I'm pretty comfortable either way. I'm still very much in love with Viv but I'm more relaxed about it because now I feel pretty confident that we're going to maintain our connection.
• I'm hopefully going to be moving within the month! and sharing a flat with Ash! I've been daydreaming so much about how my room is going to look ♥ and I've been packing/organizing/donating, which feels strangely delightful and really cleansing. For some reason separating from my ex gives me permission to finally let go of things I've held on to even though the joy of them has passed.
• Kanika's going to be staying with my ex until I have a living situation where ze'd be comfortable and where I plan to stay for a long time, which will probably be more than a year from now. I'm not sure how I feel about that since I've always been the caretaker and I don't really trust my ex to take as much care -- but ultimately, Kanika would be happier in the environment ze's used to, I think.
• I'm considering participating in therealljidol this season, but I'm on the fence and need a push one way or the other. Those of you who were on my flist back then, what do you think? did you enjoy the prompted entries when I did it last time? or did it change the tone of my LJ too much? did the weekly call for votes annoy you? Other thoughts? I have to decide this week so share your spectacularly useful opinions please!