a few thoughts...
im starting to regret the fact i was "too cool for school" and fucked up to the point where i had no chance to go away for college. Maybe i say this because i just returned from cmu. What an amazing weekend, really. everything about it i absolutley love. the fact that you walk everyywhere or take taxis! everyone is so friendly and the entire city is full of teenagers. the smallest flaw was that when you got all drunk and stupid, it was a forever walk to taco bell and i was real hungry. not cool :( but i seriously had a blast :)
i feel like my life is over-powerd by my job. or maybe its just lately.. but i work every fucking day, all fucking day. i know all i do is sit around, watch tv, eat food, talk on the phone or chat online. but STILL im bored, i miss my friends my mommy and my pops. the #1 amazing thing about it tho, is that at the end of nov. im getting my baby car!!! im so effin pleased :) then every weekend i can acctually go stay anywhere i want when i acctually tell people ill come! score. i start school in jan. yikes! i dont think im ready for back to school. haha i hateee school. i never went and im scared ill blow occ off like i did kimball. god i hope not. id kick myself in the face if i honestly did that to myself again. im so worthless at times. im so stoked that thanksgiving is next week and my lovers will be in town! it just sucks casue after the fun come the goodbyes. and i hate goodbyes. ive came to the conclusion boys are worthless. no offense, lately no guy has even done anything to me for me to say/think this. but its soo true. at least now it is. if a guy controls YOUR happiness or your mood, thats sad. becasue then your not being your own person and your not true. and that makes you fake. and if your fake, you basically suck. Lately ive been told i'm a really mean person. i do admit hearing that hurts bad, but maybe better so i can change that. becasue truthfully i didnt really think i was thatt mean of a human being. im sorry. im gonna start going to the gym now that i have a mo cash and the time. going to the gym makes me feel soo much better in general. so starting next week sometime? this week is the longestt week for me its redic. but after friday it goes back to normal and i like normal.
i get outta work around 1, then im going to leighs w. sara to hopefully smoke down and then watch some sweet movies. later im gonna down a few beers to make my night a little better. work tomorrow at 630ish. not bad.
i feel like my life is over-powerd by my job. or maybe its just lately.. but i work every fucking day, all fucking day. i know all i do is sit around, watch tv, eat food, talk on the phone or chat online. but STILL im bored, i miss my friends my mommy and my pops. the #1 amazing thing about it tho, is that at the end of nov. im getting my baby car!!! im so effin pleased :) then every weekend i can acctually go stay anywhere i want when i acctually tell people ill come! score. i start school in jan. yikes! i dont think im ready for back to school. haha i hateee school. i never went and im scared ill blow occ off like i did kimball. god i hope not. id kick myself in the face if i honestly did that to myself again. im so worthless at times. im so stoked that thanksgiving is next week and my lovers will be in town! it just sucks casue after the fun come the goodbyes. and i hate goodbyes. ive came to the conclusion boys are worthless. no offense, lately no guy has even done anything to me for me to say/think this. but its soo true. at least now it is. if a guy controls YOUR happiness or your mood, thats sad. becasue then your not being your own person and your not true. and that makes you fake. and if your fake, you basically suck. Lately ive been told i'm a really mean person. i do admit hearing that hurts bad, but maybe better so i can change that. becasue truthfully i didnt really think i was thatt mean of a human being. im sorry. im gonna start going to the gym now that i have a mo cash and the time. going to the gym makes me feel soo much better in general. so starting next week sometime? this week is the longestt week for me its redic. but after friday it goes back to normal and i like normal.
i get outta work around 1, then im going to leighs w. sara to hopefully smoke down and then watch some sweet movies. later im gonna down a few beers to make my night a little better. work tomorrow at 630ish. not bad.