Fic: Ten Drabbles (TW, Jack/Ianto) R...ish
TITLE: Ten Drabbles
AUTHOR: Bedsidekibbles
RATING: Rish
Genre: A lot of angst, but a couple fluffs
DISCLAIMER: Torchwood is property of RTD and the BBC.
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: Jack/Ianto, mentions of others
WORDS: Somewhere just under 2200 in all
SUMMARY: As the title says, 10 drabbles.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So, this is my first story in (according to Livejournal 118 weeks) and the first time I've ever written Torchwood. I've been a lurker for the last couple of weeks, and finally worked up the courage to try my hand at it. I read liadan14's post (from last Friday), of the 10 drabbles, and decided to try it as well. So, as this is my first TW attempt, please let me know what you think!
The challenge:
1. Lie to Me by the Devics
“Lie to me…please Ianto, just lie to me.” Jack was begging and Ianto could barely stand the pain he was feeling. He had always known that Jack would break his heart. But that couldn’t have prepared him for this kind of pain.
Ianto was dying. They both knew it. After fifteen years with Torchwood, Ianto Jones was dying of something as mundane as cancer. He had developed testicular cancer the year before. Neither he nor Jack had been particularly worried. Over 90% of men with testicular cancer recovered. He went in for treatments. He seemed to be getting better. And yet, two months after finishing treatment, he was back in the hospital, the cancer worse than before. Martha had theories that the Rift caused some kind of reaction with the treatments he had had, but no one knew for sure. In the end, it didn’t really matter.
Going into their relationship, Jack and Ianto had known that it would be Ianto’s death that separated them. They had never expected it would be this early…or this late. He had worked for Torchwood for 15 years, which was much longer than most people would. If he had made it this far, they had started to believe, maybe he would be able to achieve something close to an average life span. They had started to feel comfortable in their lives together. Started to believe that death wasn’t waiting around every corner to separate them. And that was when it happened.
Now, Ianto knew that he didn’t have much time left. Jack knew it too.
“Please Ianto…when you go…I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Ianto tried to smile, but it was weak. “I’m sorry Cariad…you know you have to. You have to survive. The universe needs you.”
“And I need you. I don’t know how to do this on my own anymore. Not forever.”
A tear slipped down Ianto’s face, but neither man made any move to wipe it away. “I am so sorry Jack. So sorry that it had to be like this.” Even talking was becoming a struggle; Ianto knew he didn’t have much time left.
“Please Ianto…lie to me. Tell me that the next time I die, I’ll stay dead. I’ll stay dead and it won’t be that horrible blackness that it always is. That I’ll finally have forever with you. Lie to me Ianto. Tell me that I won’t have to do this alone. Tell me that I won’t lose you.”
More tears slipped down Ianto’s face and he found himself unable to respond. He had always known that Jack Harkness would break his heart. He just hadn’t expected it to be like this.
2. When You Were Young by The Killers
Ianto stood, staring at the floor, afraid to look up. He knew this was what he wanted more than anything, but it was something he had never known he wanted.
He didn’t look anything like what Ianto had always imagined when he was young. while he had always known that he was attracted to men, he never considered that he would ever settle down with one. They were attractive, but so were women, and it would break his Mam’s heart if he didn’t marry and give her grandchildren. So Ianto had always known that he would dabble with men, dip his feet into another life, but he would eventually find a nice girl he could take home, he’d marry her, have babies, and they’d live a perfectly mundane life.
He had thought he had found that once, long ago, with Lisa.
And yet…
Here he was. Getting married. Kids were unlikely, given his work, but not impossible.
And this “nice girl” he was marrying…well Jack didn’t look anything like Ianto had ever expected. But the way that Ianto felt when he was with him…it was more than anything he could have ever imagined.
So finally, Ianto looked up, met eyes with Jack as he stood across from him. They both smiled, and turned back to the minister, ready for what came.
3. Crash into Me by Dave Matthews Band
Ianto had had a normal life before Jack Harkness crashed into his life. Well, no he hadn’t. He worked for Torchwood. Nothing in his life could be considered normal. But, it had been something closer to normal than it was now.
Jack had crashed into Ianto’s life soon after everything at Torchwood One had come to a fiery end for Ianto. When Lisa had died, Ianto had sworn he wouldn’t have anything to do with Torchwood. And yet, all it had taken was a little pleading from Captain Jack Harkness, and Ianto found himself second in command of Torchwood Three.
He was never sure what it was that had really convinced him. Whether he had never really wanted to leave Torchwood completely; or if it was simply Jack that had convinced him.
Jack had shown Ianto an entirely new world. One that he had never thought about, but he wouldn’t change it for a thing.
4. So Hard by the Dixie Chicks
It was so hard sometimes with Jack. He hadn’t expected it to be this hard when they had started this…whole thing. Ianto hadn’t expected much. Well, that wasn’t true. He knew nothing with Jack would be simple or common. He had expected something great, fantastic, and amazing. And it was, but it was so hard. So unfair.
Ianto sighed and tried not to move too much. He kept his eyes squeezed tight, but knew that it wouldn’t matter if he opened his eyes anyway, he still wouldn’t be able to see.
This wasn’t what he had expected. It was unfair that it was so hard.
Well, that he was so hard. And unable to move, thanks to his own ties tying all of his limbs to the bed.
Ianto could hear the smile in Jack’s voice. “You need a break Ianto?”
Ianto refused to admit defeat. “Just get on with it, you bastard.”
Jack chuckled. “Now, now Ianto, that isn’t very nice. I warned you that I was going to get you hard and then spend the night teasing you. What did you think I had in mind?”
5. Free Falling by Tom Petty
Ianto had always been such a good boy. He loved his mam and tad and still visited them every chance his got.
Jack had always been the bad boy. He knew that for many people, that was his appeal (besides his 51st century pheromones).
How Ianto had ended up with Jack neither of them really understood. They just knew that it was better than either of them could have ever expected. It was like being in free fall. A rush of adrenaline all the time. Stomach in knots, not knowing what to expect…but in the best way imaginable.
Ianto had gone skydiving with some mates on his 19th birthday, just before he had moved to London. The best part, for him, had been those moments of free fall, before he opened his chute, the little bit of doubt that he would survive this. The thought that if he didn’t…it would be worth it, just to experience this feeling.
Loving Jack was a lot like that.
6. Hey, Hey, What Can I Do by Hootie and the Blowfish
Ianto had loved Jack from afar for a long time. They had two classes together, which was actually a little strange at such a large University, but somehow they did. And it hadn’t taken long for Ianto to fall in love with every little aspect of Jack Harkness.
He told all his friends about this amazing, brash American that he had become casual friends with. He told his parents about this amazing boy that was everything he could ever want.
The only person he hadn’t told all about Jack Harkness was Jack himself. It wasn’t that Jack didn’t notice Ianto. The two had in fact become friends…to an extent. They studied together a lot, and sometimes would hang out on the weekends. But Jack was so popular; Ianto didn’t fool himself into thinking that he was anything special to Jack.
Until the day Jack kissed him and he realized it wasn’t a dream.
7. I Wont’ Go Home Without You by Maroon 5
The night of Canary Wharf, Ianto had begged Lisa to stay with him. She wouldn’t listen to him and had made her way to her department. The Cybermen had caught her, much earlier than they caught Ianto, putting her far ahead of him in line to be converted.
Ianto cried himself to sleep for months, believing that if he had been able to convince Lisa to stay with him, she would have lived.
The day Jack took off to help the Doctor fight the Daleks, Ianto had wanted to beg Jack to stay with him, but knew that, as it had been with Lisa, it would be useless.
But he refused to go home without Jack. Even after the Daleks had been defeated, he had remained in the Hub, refusing to leave without Jack. Part of him couldn’t believe he had let Jack go, without a fight, but they had survived. And he wasn’t going home without his lover this time.
8. A Bad Dream by Keane
Jack was tired of fighting. He knew that it was his lot in life, but, there was one particular fight that he wanted to be done with.
Jack had never told his team about the Year that Never Was. Ianto knew, to an extent, but not any details. Only things that Jack had shouted in his sleep.
Because there were bad dreams still, nightmares years later. And he was still fighting someone who no longer existed, someone he could never truly beat. And while he could go days without thinking about Saxon, many of his night were consumed with memories.
He’d wake up from these dreams, from these memories of his year with no one on his side. He’d wake up tired. Tired of the fights and the memories of a man and world long gone.
But sometimes, occasionally, he didn’t mind it so much, because at least in this timeline, in this world, he woke up from these bad dreams with Ianto next to him. He woke up with someone on his side, who he knew would fight for him.
And on those nights, those thoughts chased the bad dreams away.
9. Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer
The Face of Boe, to the surprise of many, slept. Not only did he sleep, he slept a lot. And when he slept, he dreamt.
He dreamt of a young man who was gone, and had been for thousands of years.
It was always hard for him to wake, to face another day alone, the oldest being in the Universe, wondering when he would finally be able to stay with the man he had loved so very long ago, but had loved forever. He had loved after the man had died, had continued living, hadn’t shriveled away and hid for thousands of years.
He had faced the death of Ianto Jones the way Ianto had wanted him to, by continuing to live. But he had always remembered the man, had always loved, and had always dreamt of him of their life, of days gone by, of things that he wished they could have done.
But he would always wake to him being gone; and it never got any easier.
He longed for the day he just wouldn’t wake up…he knew would come soon now.
But when he was dreaming, with his broken heart, waking up was always the hardest part.
10. The One by Elton John
It was like stars colliding, a tremendous explosion in his mind, in his stomach, in his heart.
For the first time in many, many years, sex and love were something that were related for Jack Harkness.
He had loved many in his life, and he had slept with even more. But it had been a very long time since he had loved someone that he also slept with.
He wouldn’t have said Ianto Jones was “the one.” Jack knew, with his lifespan what it was, he could never allow himself such a fairy tale. He could be “the one” for someone else, for someone special. But they could never be his “one,” because they would never be his only.
Ianto Jones was that someone special for him. He could allow himself to be “the one” for the man. Because with Ianto, something changed inside Jack. Something in his heart, that he had long ago given up on, determined not to love too much, changed. He knew there was no way he could love Ianto too much; rather, he would never love him enough. With Ianto, there was no such thing as enough love.
So, in a way, Ianto was “the one” for Jack. In the only way that anyone could be. Ianto Jones was the one that he would always miss and never forget; the one who made it possible for Jack Harkness to truly love again.
AUTHOR: Bedsidekibbles
RATING: Rish
Genre: A lot of angst, but a couple fluffs
DISCLAIMER: Torchwood is property of RTD and the BBC.
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: Jack/Ianto, mentions of others
WORDS: Somewhere just under 2200 in all
SUMMARY: As the title says, 10 drabbles.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: So, this is my first story in (according to Livejournal 118 weeks) and the first time I've ever written Torchwood. I've been a lurker for the last couple of weeks, and finally worked up the courage to try my hand at it. I read liadan14's post (from last Friday), of the 10 drabbles, and decided to try it as well. So, as this is my first TW attempt, please let me know what you think!
The challenge:
- Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays.
You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble
You start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
1. Lie to Me by the Devics
“Lie to me…please Ianto, just lie to me.” Jack was begging and Ianto could barely stand the pain he was feeling. He had always known that Jack would break his heart. But that couldn’t have prepared him for this kind of pain.
Ianto was dying. They both knew it. After fifteen years with Torchwood, Ianto Jones was dying of something as mundane as cancer. He had developed testicular cancer the year before. Neither he nor Jack had been particularly worried. Over 90% of men with testicular cancer recovered. He went in for treatments. He seemed to be getting better. And yet, two months after finishing treatment, he was back in the hospital, the cancer worse than before. Martha had theories that the Rift caused some kind of reaction with the treatments he had had, but no one knew for sure. In the end, it didn’t really matter.
Going into their relationship, Jack and Ianto had known that it would be Ianto’s death that separated them. They had never expected it would be this early…or this late. He had worked for Torchwood for 15 years, which was much longer than most people would. If he had made it this far, they had started to believe, maybe he would be able to achieve something close to an average life span. They had started to feel comfortable in their lives together. Started to believe that death wasn’t waiting around every corner to separate them. And that was when it happened.
Now, Ianto knew that he didn’t have much time left. Jack knew it too.
“Please Ianto…when you go…I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Ianto tried to smile, but it was weak. “I’m sorry Cariad…you know you have to. You have to survive. The universe needs you.”
“And I need you. I don’t know how to do this on my own anymore. Not forever.”
A tear slipped down Ianto’s face, but neither man made any move to wipe it away. “I am so sorry Jack. So sorry that it had to be like this.” Even talking was becoming a struggle; Ianto knew he didn’t have much time left.
“Please Ianto…lie to me. Tell me that the next time I die, I’ll stay dead. I’ll stay dead and it won’t be that horrible blackness that it always is. That I’ll finally have forever with you. Lie to me Ianto. Tell me that I won’t have to do this alone. Tell me that I won’t lose you.”
More tears slipped down Ianto’s face and he found himself unable to respond. He had always known that Jack Harkness would break his heart. He just hadn’t expected it to be like this.
2. When You Were Young by The Killers
Ianto stood, staring at the floor, afraid to look up. He knew this was what he wanted more than anything, but it was something he had never known he wanted.
He didn’t look anything like what Ianto had always imagined when he was young. while he had always known that he was attracted to men, he never considered that he would ever settle down with one. They were attractive, but so were women, and it would break his Mam’s heart if he didn’t marry and give her grandchildren. So Ianto had always known that he would dabble with men, dip his feet into another life, but he would eventually find a nice girl he could take home, he’d marry her, have babies, and they’d live a perfectly mundane life.
He had thought he had found that once, long ago, with Lisa.
And yet…
Here he was. Getting married. Kids were unlikely, given his work, but not impossible.
And this “nice girl” he was marrying…well Jack didn’t look anything like Ianto had ever expected. But the way that Ianto felt when he was with him…it was more than anything he could have ever imagined.
So finally, Ianto looked up, met eyes with Jack as he stood across from him. They both smiled, and turned back to the minister, ready for what came.
3. Crash into Me by Dave Matthews Band
Ianto had had a normal life before Jack Harkness crashed into his life. Well, no he hadn’t. He worked for Torchwood. Nothing in his life could be considered normal. But, it had been something closer to normal than it was now.
Jack had crashed into Ianto’s life soon after everything at Torchwood One had come to a fiery end for Ianto. When Lisa had died, Ianto had sworn he wouldn’t have anything to do with Torchwood. And yet, all it had taken was a little pleading from Captain Jack Harkness, and Ianto found himself second in command of Torchwood Three.
He was never sure what it was that had really convinced him. Whether he had never really wanted to leave Torchwood completely; or if it was simply Jack that had convinced him.
Jack had shown Ianto an entirely new world. One that he had never thought about, but he wouldn’t change it for a thing.
4. So Hard by the Dixie Chicks
It was so hard sometimes with Jack. He hadn’t expected it to be this hard when they had started this…whole thing. Ianto hadn’t expected much. Well, that wasn’t true. He knew nothing with Jack would be simple or common. He had expected something great, fantastic, and amazing. And it was, but it was so hard. So unfair.
Ianto sighed and tried not to move too much. He kept his eyes squeezed tight, but knew that it wouldn’t matter if he opened his eyes anyway, he still wouldn’t be able to see.
This wasn’t what he had expected. It was unfair that it was so hard.
Well, that he was so hard. And unable to move, thanks to his own ties tying all of his limbs to the bed.
Ianto could hear the smile in Jack’s voice. “You need a break Ianto?”
Ianto refused to admit defeat. “Just get on with it, you bastard.”
Jack chuckled. “Now, now Ianto, that isn’t very nice. I warned you that I was going to get you hard and then spend the night teasing you. What did you think I had in mind?”
5. Free Falling by Tom Petty
Ianto had always been such a good boy. He loved his mam and tad and still visited them every chance his got.
Jack had always been the bad boy. He knew that for many people, that was his appeal (besides his 51st century pheromones).
How Ianto had ended up with Jack neither of them really understood. They just knew that it was better than either of them could have ever expected. It was like being in free fall. A rush of adrenaline all the time. Stomach in knots, not knowing what to expect…but in the best way imaginable.
Ianto had gone skydiving with some mates on his 19th birthday, just before he had moved to London. The best part, for him, had been those moments of free fall, before he opened his chute, the little bit of doubt that he would survive this. The thought that if he didn’t…it would be worth it, just to experience this feeling.
Loving Jack was a lot like that.
6. Hey, Hey, What Can I Do by Hootie and the Blowfish
Ianto had loved Jack from afar for a long time. They had two classes together, which was actually a little strange at such a large University, but somehow they did. And it hadn’t taken long for Ianto to fall in love with every little aspect of Jack Harkness.
He told all his friends about this amazing, brash American that he had become casual friends with. He told his parents about this amazing boy that was everything he could ever want.
The only person he hadn’t told all about Jack Harkness was Jack himself. It wasn’t that Jack didn’t notice Ianto. The two had in fact become friends…to an extent. They studied together a lot, and sometimes would hang out on the weekends. But Jack was so popular; Ianto didn’t fool himself into thinking that he was anything special to Jack.
Until the day Jack kissed him and he realized it wasn’t a dream.
7. I Wont’ Go Home Without You by Maroon 5
The night of Canary Wharf, Ianto had begged Lisa to stay with him. She wouldn’t listen to him and had made her way to her department. The Cybermen had caught her, much earlier than they caught Ianto, putting her far ahead of him in line to be converted.
Ianto cried himself to sleep for months, believing that if he had been able to convince Lisa to stay with him, she would have lived.
The day Jack took off to help the Doctor fight the Daleks, Ianto had wanted to beg Jack to stay with him, but knew that, as it had been with Lisa, it would be useless.
But he refused to go home without Jack. Even after the Daleks had been defeated, he had remained in the Hub, refusing to leave without Jack. Part of him couldn’t believe he had let Jack go, without a fight, but they had survived. And he wasn’t going home without his lover this time.
8. A Bad Dream by Keane
Jack was tired of fighting. He knew that it was his lot in life, but, there was one particular fight that he wanted to be done with.
Jack had never told his team about the Year that Never Was. Ianto knew, to an extent, but not any details. Only things that Jack had shouted in his sleep.
Because there were bad dreams still, nightmares years later. And he was still fighting someone who no longer existed, someone he could never truly beat. And while he could go days without thinking about Saxon, many of his night were consumed with memories.
He’d wake up from these dreams, from these memories of his year with no one on his side. He’d wake up tired. Tired of the fights and the memories of a man and world long gone.
But sometimes, occasionally, he didn’t mind it so much, because at least in this timeline, in this world, he woke up from these bad dreams with Ianto next to him. He woke up with someone on his side, who he knew would fight for him.
And on those nights, those thoughts chased the bad dreams away.
9. Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer
The Face of Boe, to the surprise of many, slept. Not only did he sleep, he slept a lot. And when he slept, he dreamt.
He dreamt of a young man who was gone, and had been for thousands of years.
It was always hard for him to wake, to face another day alone, the oldest being in the Universe, wondering when he would finally be able to stay with the man he had loved so very long ago, but had loved forever. He had loved after the man had died, had continued living, hadn’t shriveled away and hid for thousands of years.
He had faced the death of Ianto Jones the way Ianto had wanted him to, by continuing to live. But he had always remembered the man, had always loved, and had always dreamt of him of their life, of days gone by, of things that he wished they could have done.
But he would always wake to him being gone; and it never got any easier.
He longed for the day he just wouldn’t wake up…he knew would come soon now.
But when he was dreaming, with his broken heart, waking up was always the hardest part.
10. The One by Elton John
It was like stars colliding, a tremendous explosion in his mind, in his stomach, in his heart.
For the first time in many, many years, sex and love were something that were related for Jack Harkness.
He had loved many in his life, and he had slept with even more. But it had been a very long time since he had loved someone that he also slept with.
He wouldn’t have said Ianto Jones was “the one.” Jack knew, with his lifespan what it was, he could never allow himself such a fairy tale. He could be “the one” for someone else, for someone special. But they could never be his “one,” because they would never be his only.
Ianto Jones was that someone special for him. He could allow himself to be “the one” for the man. Because with Ianto, something changed inside Jack. Something in his heart, that he had long ago given up on, determined not to love too much, changed. He knew there was no way he could love Ianto too much; rather, he would never love him enough. With Ianto, there was no such thing as enough love.
So, in a way, Ianto was “the one” for Jack. In the only way that anyone could be. Ianto Jones was the one that he would always miss and never forget; the one who made it possible for Jack Harkness to truly love again.