Just when I thought it couldn't get worst...
Last night [Sunday night] I went over to Jamies as always and found out his Grandfather who was in the hospital was not doing very good at all. They gave him the option of a morphine drip which will make him tired and put him to sleep but also make him never wake up... or they can try other stuff and he can suffer for a few more days. Jamies parents went to the hospital to see what his decision would be and around 8:30 we got a call (Jamie was in the shower) I brouth the phone to him and his sister told him that there Papa has decided to go with the morphine drip. Jamie slammed the shower curtain shut and broke down. I could hear him the whole time he was in the shower. I felt so bad. There wasn't anything that I could do so I layed on his bed and sobbed till he got out. Then he rushed to get dressed and we drove to see him one more time. We got there and learned that they were not able to give him the drip that he desired and they would have to try other options first to see if they would help. He was in a lot of pain though. Nothing was working and he just kept requestion the drip. Then they told him because of his very low blood pressure that they couldn't give it to him but instead would give him shots of morphine every half hour. That was such a hard night. Jamie and his brother and sister got to go in and see him one more time. Before we left the nurse said that his blood pressure was getting better and he would live through the night and tomorrow if he was still doing ok then he'd go to dialysis. Everything was looking good! So we let him rest and decided to go home so his Nana could rest too (because we knew she wouldn't if everyone was still there) I droped off Jamie and his Mom around 11:30 that night.
The next morning Jamie called before work as he always does and I asked him if he heard anything about his grandfather. I didn't hear a responce so thinking that he didn't hear me I asked again and he started to cry. Or sounded like he did. His Aunt called there house from the hospital around 4 in the morning [ she stayed with his nana ] and told Jamies dad that his heart rate was dropping and it wasn't looking good so he got up and started to get dressed and ready to go when Jamies Aunt called again 10 minutes later and said he had passed away. I felt so increadibly bad. Jamie still went to work which I guess was good to keep his mind off it for a little while, but I don't think I could of. He got home and called me.
It was our one year anniversary today and he asked if i still wanted to go out to eat and I told hi that if he felt up to it we can but I was leaving it up to him. He decided he'd like to go out so I went and got ready and headed over to his house. I made him a scrapbook for our one year. It came out rather nice and he liked it. it took a lot of time. When I got there there was a box on his bed and a card on it. it was a florist card and it said that He loved me and he couldn't believe it's been a whole year. He hoped that not every year to come goes by so fast. I opened the box which held a dozen long steam roses. They were beautiful!! They still are! I cut them down a bit to put them in a vase. Then he pulled out a bag from his closet. it was a J M pollic [or however it's spelt] bag. In it was tissuepaper and a wrapped box. The box it self was beautiful (I could tell it wasn't Jamie that wrapped it. lol) But I opened it up and knew it was a ring by the box. I opened it and OMG it was so beautiful. I though I was going to cry. I been rather emotional all day to begin with but this was a happy cry. He done good ;) He told me that we'd have to get it sized.. I asked what size it was and he didn't know so I put it on to see how it would look and it fit perfectly!! It's amazing! It's a round-cut safire stone in the center with a diamond on each side. White gold. [I hate yellow gold- at least on me] I couldn't be happier.
But the whole way to the resturant I held Jamie's hand as he spoke about his grandfather and the stuff they talked about the night before. Stuff they'd talk about in the past and talked about camp. WE cried the whole ride to the resturant but once we got there *after going quite a bit out of the way* We were fine and ready to eat. then the ride back he talked about him and then when we arrived back home we started watching tv and before i left for another half hour he would talk about him. It made me so sad to watch him have to deal with this and I felt so increadibly helpless. All I could do was listen.
I did tell him however, that his grandfather really isn't gone and he will always be with Jamie. I told him that he would see him again someday and it was really great that he was able to see him again before he passed. It was awsome that the 3 grandchildren got to go in and maked him smile and laugh again. He really needed that. But man was Jamie a wreck. He doesn't deal with this well and it worries me. But he is talking about it to me which is good and I will continue to listen to him and help him in anyway that I can. I love him with every peart of my heart and soul and really hope that he knows that. I am here for him no matter what [ I let him know that ] and he thanked me for listening. He didn't have to thank me, I wasn't forced to listen and be there for him,I chose to because I love him. Anyway camp is really going to be hard this summer but everyone will be ok.
The next morning Jamie called before work as he always does and I asked him if he heard anything about his grandfather. I didn't hear a responce so thinking that he didn't hear me I asked again and he started to cry. Or sounded like he did. His Aunt called there house from the hospital around 4 in the morning [ she stayed with his nana ] and told Jamies dad that his heart rate was dropping and it wasn't looking good so he got up and started to get dressed and ready to go when Jamies Aunt called again 10 minutes later and said he had passed away. I felt so increadibly bad. Jamie still went to work which I guess was good to keep his mind off it for a little while, but I don't think I could of. He got home and called me.
It was our one year anniversary today and he asked if i still wanted to go out to eat and I told hi that if he felt up to it we can but I was leaving it up to him. He decided he'd like to go out so I went and got ready and headed over to his house. I made him a scrapbook for our one year. It came out rather nice and he liked it. it took a lot of time. When I got there there was a box on his bed and a card on it. it was a florist card and it said that He loved me and he couldn't believe it's been a whole year. He hoped that not every year to come goes by so fast. I opened the box which held a dozen long steam roses. They were beautiful!! They still are! I cut them down a bit to put them in a vase. Then he pulled out a bag from his closet. it was a J M pollic [or however it's spelt] bag. In it was tissuepaper and a wrapped box. The box it self was beautiful (I could tell it wasn't Jamie that wrapped it. lol) But I opened it up and knew it was a ring by the box. I opened it and OMG it was so beautiful. I though I was going to cry. I been rather emotional all day to begin with but this was a happy cry. He done good ;) He told me that we'd have to get it sized.. I asked what size it was and he didn't know so I put it on to see how it would look and it fit perfectly!! It's amazing! It's a round-cut safire stone in the center with a diamond on each side. White gold. [I hate yellow gold- at least on me] I couldn't be happier.
But the whole way to the resturant I held Jamie's hand as he spoke about his grandfather and the stuff they talked about the night before. Stuff they'd talk about in the past and talked about camp. WE cried the whole ride to the resturant but once we got there *after going quite a bit out of the way* We were fine and ready to eat. then the ride back he talked about him and then when we arrived back home we started watching tv and before i left for another half hour he would talk about him. It made me so sad to watch him have to deal with this and I felt so increadibly helpless. All I could do was listen.
I did tell him however, that his grandfather really isn't gone and he will always be with Jamie. I told him that he would see him again someday and it was really great that he was able to see him again before he passed. It was awsome that the 3 grandchildren got to go in and maked him smile and laugh again. He really needed that. But man was Jamie a wreck. He doesn't deal with this well and it worries me. But he is talking about it to me which is good and I will continue to listen to him and help him in anyway that I can. I love him with every peart of my heart and soul and really hope that he knows that. I am here for him no matter what [ I let him know that ] and he thanked me for listening. He didn't have to thank me, I wasn't forced to listen and be there for him,I chose to because I love him. Anyway camp is really going to be hard this summer but everyone will be ok.