Pristine, or Not Pristine?
My mother seems to have confused the seasons. Instead of engaging in the traditional Spring Cleaning in 2008, she seems to have decided upon mid-Winter Cleaning instead. I know that she's been missing being all 'homey' and whatever that actually means, but this suddenly "let's clean the house from top to bottom" (well,ok, the first floor) attitude is a little frightening. This all started because we went to my uncles house and his wife keeps that house pristine. And I mean pristine. She decorates seasonally, apparently. We were there for my grandmother's birthday party which has turned into an annual event apparently and this year was the very first year I was able to attend since I wasn't, you know, pursuing higher education in the middle of another state.
Apparently immediately after New Years the theme in that particular Pilling household is Valentine's Day! WooHoo! (I really don't care for Valentine's Day, if you didn't know that about me already.) And there were hearts and bears with hearts and a heart shaped teapot it was all pink and red hearts! It was subtle but enough that that's what I remember about their decor. But the rest of the house kinda looks like a stage set. Perfectly cleaned, vacuumed and dusted and washed. So much so that it's almost like it's fake or something.
This is a great source of enjoyment for my cousin apparently. He tried to get my mom to put her hands all over the glass and when we were saying goodbye, he and I, he smudged my hand all over the window. To be sure I let it be known that yes there are fingerprints all over that one window, but they are entirely Todd's fault!
Off topic. The topic is the cleanliness of homes and when do we become so obsessed with keeping everything pristine? And I mean pristine, not just pretty clean. Good enough clean. Livable clean. Pristine. I don't know if my uncle's wife is obsessed with "pristine clean" or if she just has the time and makes the effort, but her home is "pristine clean" and the morning we were to be going down there my mother was lamenting that their house was going to be spectacularly spotless and her house is not. It made her feel guilty or not good enough or something and it was amazingly ridiculous and accused my father and I of 'not understanding'.
Dear me, do I ever understand! I know exactly what it means to want to keep the place you live in spotless and not being able to either because I didn't have the time or the other people I lived with were not of the same mindset. I've understood since high school. Try living with a sister who thinks that just because we rarely have non-family people over means she can leave her crap all over the friggin house and thinks it won't affect anybody else! Try having a roommate (and her boyfriend) forget the definition of "Common" and how it applies to the Common Room and they leave their crap all over the place not realizing that they are the reason you never spend any time at home. Try living with people who put their dishes in the kitchen sink and then never wash them. Trust me, I know what it's like to want to keep your place neat and not being able to.
But here's the difference I'm wondering about. Where is the line between wanting to keep the house or apartment clean and welcoming and looking like it's fake and unlived in? And when do we get to that point where we're obsessive about it?
Quite frankly, I like to see a little clutter in a person's home! I like to know that they actually live in their home. If there are a few books on the coffee table or the couch, that's awesome; if the sofa cushions aren't exactly straight and perfect, even better; if there are coffee stains on the counter that got missed during the post-breakfast clean up, then that's amazing! I'm all about houses with small piles of books or magazines under a chair or a sweater on the back of a couch or a bag of unsorted stuff just shoved behind a table to be dealt with later.
It scares me when homes are pristine. I'm terrified of houses so clean and full of kitschy knick knacks that they are more museum than home. The fear is real. I look at the owner of the home and wonder if they're not actually human, but cyborg with super awesome cleaning attachments. Tiled floors really ought to be cleaned once a week, the kitchen should be wiped down daily, dishes should be washed daily and never left in the sink. The bathroom really ought to get done once a week or, more realistically, once a month. The floors really ought to be vacuumed or swept about the same amount. But the walls and the windows can wait a while. Windows perhaps want to be done yearly, in the warmer months. The walls, perhaps once a year, unless its the wall behind the stove and the counters in the kitchen and you actually use your kitchen for cooking. Those ones really ought to be done more often, spaghetti sauce stains.
++ Here's the main difference between my mother's home and my uncle's place. My mother has lived in this house for thirty one years and raised five children in it: two of whom (one really messy one) have not vacated it. Granted the ones who have vacated, it's not like they removed everything they owned when they went. My uncle and his wife got the joint they're living in now only about three or four years ago. The two of them, and the two of them only, moved into the place and have been living there just the two of them since. Both have children from previous marriages, but their children are grown and having children of their own, so it's not like they're crashing at their place on spring break or between jobs or whatever.
I don't think my mother has any reason to feel like she's less of a mother or homemaker or whatever. She works hard and deserves some rest when she gets home. She shouldn't be worrying about the cleanliness of her house. I suppose that's where the rest of us come in. If only we were a little more helpful in that department, then, perhaps, it wouldn't freak her out as much.
Anyone have any tips on how to get my sister to not leave her shit everywhere and to dispose of her mail in some fashion other than just leaving it lying around the kitchen in everyone else's way?
Apparently immediately after New Years the theme in that particular Pilling household is Valentine's Day! WooHoo! (I really don't care for Valentine's Day, if you didn't know that about me already.) And there were hearts and bears with hearts and a heart shaped teapot it was all pink and red hearts! It was subtle but enough that that's what I remember about their decor. But the rest of the house kinda looks like a stage set. Perfectly cleaned, vacuumed and dusted and washed. So much so that it's almost like it's fake or something.
This is a great source of enjoyment for my cousin apparently. He tried to get my mom to put her hands all over the glass and when we were saying goodbye, he and I, he smudged my hand all over the window. To be sure I let it be known that yes there are fingerprints all over that one window, but they are entirely Todd's fault!
Off topic. The topic is the cleanliness of homes and when do we become so obsessed with keeping everything pristine? And I mean pristine, not just pretty clean. Good enough clean. Livable clean. Pristine. I don't know if my uncle's wife is obsessed with "pristine clean" or if she just has the time and makes the effort, but her home is "pristine clean" and the morning we were to be going down there my mother was lamenting that their house was going to be spectacularly spotless and her house is not. It made her feel guilty or not good enough or something and it was amazingly ridiculous and accused my father and I of 'not understanding'.
Dear me, do I ever understand! I know exactly what it means to want to keep the place you live in spotless and not being able to either because I didn't have the time or the other people I lived with were not of the same mindset. I've understood since high school. Try living with a sister who thinks that just because we rarely have non-family people over means she can leave her crap all over the friggin house and thinks it won't affect anybody else! Try having a roommate (and her boyfriend) forget the definition of "Common" and how it applies to the Common Room and they leave their crap all over the place not realizing that they are the reason you never spend any time at home. Try living with people who put their dishes in the kitchen sink and then never wash them. Trust me, I know what it's like to want to keep your place neat and not being able to.
But here's the difference I'm wondering about. Where is the line between wanting to keep the house or apartment clean and welcoming and looking like it's fake and unlived in? And when do we get to that point where we're obsessive about it?
Quite frankly, I like to see a little clutter in a person's home! I like to know that they actually live in their home. If there are a few books on the coffee table or the couch, that's awesome; if the sofa cushions aren't exactly straight and perfect, even better; if there are coffee stains on the counter that got missed during the post-breakfast clean up, then that's amazing! I'm all about houses with small piles of books or magazines under a chair or a sweater on the back of a couch or a bag of unsorted stuff just shoved behind a table to be dealt with later.
It scares me when homes are pristine. I'm terrified of houses so clean and full of kitschy knick knacks that they are more museum than home. The fear is real. I look at the owner of the home and wonder if they're not actually human, but cyborg with super awesome cleaning attachments. Tiled floors really ought to be cleaned once a week, the kitchen should be wiped down daily, dishes should be washed daily and never left in the sink. The bathroom really ought to get done once a week or, more realistically, once a month. The floors really ought to be vacuumed or swept about the same amount. But the walls and the windows can wait a while. Windows perhaps want to be done yearly, in the warmer months. The walls, perhaps once a year, unless its the wall behind the stove and the counters in the kitchen and you actually use your kitchen for cooking. Those ones really ought to be done more often, spaghetti sauce stains.
++ Here's the main difference between my mother's home and my uncle's place. My mother has lived in this house for thirty one years and raised five children in it: two of whom (one really messy one) have not vacated it. Granted the ones who have vacated, it's not like they removed everything they owned when they went. My uncle and his wife got the joint they're living in now only about three or four years ago. The two of them, and the two of them only, moved into the place and have been living there just the two of them since. Both have children from previous marriages, but their children are grown and having children of their own, so it's not like they're crashing at their place on spring break or between jobs or whatever.
I don't think my mother has any reason to feel like she's less of a mother or homemaker or whatever. She works hard and deserves some rest when she gets home. She shouldn't be worrying about the cleanliness of her house. I suppose that's where the rest of us come in. If only we were a little more helpful in that department, then, perhaps, it wouldn't freak her out as much.
Anyone have any tips on how to get my sister to not leave her shit everywhere and to dispose of her mail in some fashion other than just leaving it lying around the kitchen in everyone else's way?