todays text message...
ok so today i got a text message from my ex john... it said...
Have a great day at school!
-~Blackman~-
i was really happy when i was on my way to school and got that message... i don't know... i really care for him still but i guess im kinda forcing myself to say away from those feelings cause they will only get me in trouble... i wish things weren't the way they were with him and i didn't fall so hard... cause it would be alot ezer... i sent him a text message back saying how after his text i really would have a good day and how i haven't seen him since sunday so we should hang out whenever hes free next cause i missed him... i don't know if i should have wrote that i missed him cause i don't know how he would look at it... expecially knowing how the day we broke up later we were cuddling and he started to pet me like a kitten... and we all know that that is tasha's weakness... guh... so i started petting him like a puppy... cause thats what we are im a kitten and hes a big overgrown puppy... but it wasn't like we were on top of eachother rubbing up one one another... we were two seperate bodies spaced atleast two to 3 feet apart petting eachother... but one thing led into another and we started kissing... i don't why i let him kiss me... cause he really did start kissing me... i mean i wasn't letting myself kiss him at all till he placed his lips on mine... then i just couldn't hold myself back because i still care for him very much... but he kissed me and then we started making out... and that led to feeling up... and that led to him asking me if it was ok and me saying yes because i love him so much... then to make matters worse in the middle of sex he said tasha i still love u... and when he came he realized what just happened... and got all upset with himself because we shouldn't have done that... to tell the truth i was upset with myself too because i was thinking the same thing but im much better at hiding it... its funny he wore 2 pairs of boxers just to stop himself and it didn't work... then after we were compleatly done with what we did and with me knowing how he was feeling i tried to cheer him up... which i don't know if it worked... he said we can't ever do that again... but i don't know... i have a feeling that that won't be the first or last time that that will happen... like unless we are never left alone with eachother that we can't beat it... but i won't tell him that because i don't want to not hang out with him... alone or not... so i guess i will just be silent about the matter... but it feels good to vent... i think thats why im using livejournal as of late... i want to vent but i don't want cirtain eyes to see it all... so im gonna go...
~tasha~
Have a great day at school!
-~Blackman~-
i was really happy when i was on my way to school and got that message... i don't know... i really care for him still but i guess im kinda forcing myself to say away from those feelings cause they will only get me in trouble... i wish things weren't the way they were with him and i didn't fall so hard... cause it would be alot ezer... i sent him a text message back saying how after his text i really would have a good day and how i haven't seen him since sunday so we should hang out whenever hes free next cause i missed him... i don't know if i should have wrote that i missed him cause i don't know how he would look at it... expecially knowing how the day we broke up later we were cuddling and he started to pet me like a kitten... and we all know that that is tasha's weakness... guh... so i started petting him like a puppy... cause thats what we are im a kitten and hes a big overgrown puppy... but it wasn't like we were on top of eachother rubbing up one one another... we were two seperate bodies spaced atleast two to 3 feet apart petting eachother... but one thing led into another and we started kissing... i don't why i let him kiss me... cause he really did start kissing me... i mean i wasn't letting myself kiss him at all till he placed his lips on mine... then i just couldn't hold myself back because i still care for him very much... but he kissed me and then we started making out... and that led to feeling up... and that led to him asking me if it was ok and me saying yes because i love him so much... then to make matters worse in the middle of sex he said tasha i still love u... and when he came he realized what just happened... and got all upset with himself because we shouldn't have done that... to tell the truth i was upset with myself too because i was thinking the same thing but im much better at hiding it... its funny he wore 2 pairs of boxers just to stop himself and it didn't work... then after we were compleatly done with what we did and with me knowing how he was feeling i tried to cheer him up... which i don't know if it worked... he said we can't ever do that again... but i don't know... i have a feeling that that won't be the first or last time that that will happen... like unless we are never left alone with eachother that we can't beat it... but i won't tell him that because i don't want to not hang out with him... alone or not... so i guess i will just be silent about the matter... but it feels good to vent... i think thats why im using livejournal as of late... i want to vent but i don't want cirtain eyes to see it all... so im gonna go...
~tasha~