its been a long time for me
so i haven't written in this thing in a long time... i've gotton so tired of myspace... everyone can spy on what u are doing and how u are feeling there... so thank god when i really need to vent i have this to utilize... so i went back out with john and he broke up with me on thursday... he gave me a bunch of lines as excuses... he said he really thinks hes crazy and needs time away from me and everyone else... and he said that after telling me he was gonna hang out with a bunch of people and who he was going to hang out with... he might as whell have said its not u its me... so i want nothing to do with him anymore... i feel so cold... i don't want any kind of male attention unless its compleatly non-sexual... but it seems as if just cause im single everything with a cock between their legs thinks they can come get some... and oh how i long for friendship... i am always alone now... if in not at home im either at school or work... my life has become so boaring and blan... i need something... i urin for something but i don't know what it is or how to get to it... i just know i constitly hurt inside because of it... oh what it feels like to be cold inside... but on a good note i will be going to the fireworks today with jessica... i just hope i don't see john there... i kinda know i will be though... came to my job on saturday... he came with marley... i assume they will be dating shortly... he had a thing for her before we started dating again... but he chose me over her cause he couldn't "live without me"... seing them together at my job kinda made me feel like he was giving me a heads up that thats gonna happen soon... but since i don't want anything to do with him little does he know that i dont care...