The last text message I've sent:

[beardedlady]

"Look at him. He looks so happy to take you wherever you want to go, buy you everything you ever wanted or needed, and give you every piece of himself, and you're fine having sex with me in the bed you share with him. But it's me, right?"

This has been the last 6 months of my life.

For those of you who have seen "Good Luck Chuck" - *waves* - hi, I'm Chuck.