I'm not even high.
This past weekend I found out that a guy I went to public school with, and have only seen once since, just moved into an apartment building around the corner from me. His mom used to be the one who made sure we were all playing fair and that nobody was making out in the school yard. Last night we got together to go out and get some drinks.
While we were getting ready to go out - having a few drinks and smoking a little bit of p.o.t. - we started talking about how we've all got our priorities mixed up. It started while I was watching him talk, and over his shoulder, out of the corner of my eye, I could see my own reflection in the balcony door. I got distracted by the thought of being a smaller version of myself standing inside of my head, looking through my own eyes with a third person perspective.
I realized that the reflection in the mirror wasn't me, but only the vehicle which carries me around.
The thought has crossed my mind a few times before, but reminders are always welcome. People are not faces and arms and legs. There aren't crooked teeth or gray hair. People aren't acne or scars, or the colour of their skin. Nobody had to pass a test to be white or be chosen to be beautiful. People are stories and experiences. They're feelings and emotions mixed together with expectations and ambitions.
Sometimes it's hard to open up to someone you don't have an attraction for. Symmetry sure helps. There's a part of our brain that responds better to structure and organization, making it easier to concentrate on other things rather than being distracted by "ugly". I've spent the better part of my life testing people. Saying things that make people go ":o" doing things that put my sanity and sexuality on the chopping block. I remember being in the same playground Chad's mom used to patrol, defending one of the "special needs" kids because he was being made fun of for being a "retard". I argued that nobody chooses a handi-cap. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides that they want to go to school to feel awkward, segregated, and to live in fear. Is homosexuality a choice? Put yourself in the shoes of a gay highschool student. Good choice, dude.
Growing up on FTJ, and I'm sure if I went back today, there were always people throwing spears into the inperfections of others. I'm pretty sure that I made a noticeable effort to never join in, but could never educate so many people at once. If it can't be changed, making fun of it is the equivalent of giving a blind man the finger. Sure, you might hurt a feeling or two, but you learn how to tease when you're a child; don't be afraid to grow up.
The conversation moved into how this is a physical world and none of us are really taking advantage of it. Especially those of us living in big cities. Around here, everybody lives inside of a box. They all have their little apartments, with their little couches, and their big t.vs. When they leave their apartments, their box gets even smaller. Whatever you can fit inside of a bag is usually all you have with you until you hit your next destination.
Recently I've made more of an effort to approach people. In bars, stores, on elevators, and even in the street. I've found that people are a lot more open to it than you might think. Breaking the ice still gets me nervous. My heart starts beating faster, and my breathing gets deeper, but it all goes away very quickly.
I've been so pre-occupied with the idea of "survival" until recently, making sure I go to work so I can have the money to feed and entertain myself. Being bombarded by adverstisements my whole life has kept me in a constant state of psuedo-happiness. Only feeling content whenever I obtain something new, and then feeling bad about it as soon as a better version comes out. They've made it so easy to obtain credit and to run up consumer debt. Then they tag this imaginary "interest" on it, so even when I'm not doing anything, going anywhere, or buying anything, I'm still creating more debt.
If every person who ever lent money to anybody all got the same amount of money back, there would be bajillions of dollars missing. Currency that has never even been created. We probably don't even have the resources to produce actual, physical representations of all the "money" that is owed. It's an interesting system, created by man, and it will eventually destroy man. I don't think a single one of you are even ready for what's going to hit us. Between voting in terrible administrations and not doing anything to stop the terrible decisions they are making and constantly consuming (just think of the word "consumption") goods that come from harvesting natual resources, our planet is so close to just falling apart, and soon.
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=5547481422995115331&q=zeitgeist%2C+remastered&total=22&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
http://www.storyofstuff.com
For those os us willing to learn how to hunt, fish, and build your own houses, kudos. For the rest of us, eating right and exercising, along with saving your money so you can travel instead of buying new things just so we can throw them away in six months is the only way you can maximize your potential as a human being. As a story trapped inside of a vehicle, how happy can a house full of consumer products make you?
It's all about touching and seeing, and about tasting and smelling, hearing is cool, too. None of the senses we've been given can help you take advantage of your flatscreen t.v. while you're at work trying to pay for it.
I'm not saying I'm perfect and that I've been practicing all of this for a significant period of time, and there are probably people out there who are millions of miles ahead of me. Fuck, I'm even writing this while staring at a 32" flatscreen t.v hanging on my wall that I'm still paying down. By writing this, I'm just hoping to create a ripple big enough for someone, if not me, to open their eyes or at least become interested enough in making some positive changes in their (and the people who they will forever come in contact with) lives.
While we were getting ready to go out - having a few drinks and smoking a little bit of p.o.t. - we started talking about how we've all got our priorities mixed up. It started while I was watching him talk, and over his shoulder, out of the corner of my eye, I could see my own reflection in the balcony door. I got distracted by the thought of being a smaller version of myself standing inside of my head, looking through my own eyes with a third person perspective.
I realized that the reflection in the mirror wasn't me, but only the vehicle which carries me around.
The thought has crossed my mind a few times before, but reminders are always welcome. People are not faces and arms and legs. There aren't crooked teeth or gray hair. People aren't acne or scars, or the colour of their skin. Nobody had to pass a test to be white or be chosen to be beautiful. People are stories and experiences. They're feelings and emotions mixed together with expectations and ambitions.
Sometimes it's hard to open up to someone you don't have an attraction for. Symmetry sure helps. There's a part of our brain that responds better to structure and organization, making it easier to concentrate on other things rather than being distracted by "ugly". I've spent the better part of my life testing people. Saying things that make people go ":o" doing things that put my sanity and sexuality on the chopping block. I remember being in the same playground Chad's mom used to patrol, defending one of the "special needs" kids because he was being made fun of for being a "retard". I argued that nobody chooses a handi-cap. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides that they want to go to school to feel awkward, segregated, and to live in fear. Is homosexuality a choice? Put yourself in the shoes of a gay highschool student. Good choice, dude.
Growing up on FTJ, and I'm sure if I went back today, there were always people throwing spears into the inperfections of others. I'm pretty sure that I made a noticeable effort to never join in, but could never educate so many people at once. If it can't be changed, making fun of it is the equivalent of giving a blind man the finger. Sure, you might hurt a feeling or two, but you learn how to tease when you're a child; don't be afraid to grow up.
The conversation moved into how this is a physical world and none of us are really taking advantage of it. Especially those of us living in big cities. Around here, everybody lives inside of a box. They all have their little apartments, with their little couches, and their big t.vs. When they leave their apartments, their box gets even smaller. Whatever you can fit inside of a bag is usually all you have with you until you hit your next destination.
Recently I've made more of an effort to approach people. In bars, stores, on elevators, and even in the street. I've found that people are a lot more open to it than you might think. Breaking the ice still gets me nervous. My heart starts beating faster, and my breathing gets deeper, but it all goes away very quickly.
I've been so pre-occupied with the idea of "survival" until recently, making sure I go to work so I can have the money to feed and entertain myself. Being bombarded by adverstisements my whole life has kept me in a constant state of psuedo-happiness. Only feeling content whenever I obtain something new, and then feeling bad about it as soon as a better version comes out. They've made it so easy to obtain credit and to run up consumer debt. Then they tag this imaginary "interest" on it, so even when I'm not doing anything, going anywhere, or buying anything, I'm still creating more debt.
If every person who ever lent money to anybody all got the same amount of money back, there would be bajillions of dollars missing. Currency that has never even been created. We probably don't even have the resources to produce actual, physical representations of all the "money" that is owed. It's an interesting system, created by man, and it will eventually destroy man. I don't think a single one of you are even ready for what's going to hit us. Between voting in terrible administrations and not doing anything to stop the terrible decisions they are making and constantly consuming (just think of the word "consumption") goods that come from harvesting natual resources, our planet is so close to just falling apart, and soon.
http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=5547481422995115331&q=zeitgeist%2C+remastered&total=22&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
http://www.storyofstuff.com
For those os us willing to learn how to hunt, fish, and build your own houses, kudos. For the rest of us, eating right and exercising, along with saving your money so you can travel instead of buying new things just so we can throw them away in six months is the only way you can maximize your potential as a human being. As a story trapped inside of a vehicle, how happy can a house full of consumer products make you?
It's all about touching and seeing, and about tasting and smelling, hearing is cool, too. None of the senses we've been given can help you take advantage of your flatscreen t.v. while you're at work trying to pay for it.
I'm not saying I'm perfect and that I've been practicing all of this for a significant period of time, and there are probably people out there who are millions of miles ahead of me. Fuck, I'm even writing this while staring at a 32" flatscreen t.v hanging on my wall that I'm still paying down. By writing this, I'm just hoping to create a ripple big enough for someone, if not me, to open their eyes or at least become interested enough in making some positive changes in their (and the people who they will forever come in contact with) lives.