(no subject)
i take that back. we are not official. we talked it over.. and he decided that we are just "dating" the stage BEFORE being official. and that's fine. if that's what he's comfortable with then so be it. but guaranteed, if in may he's still not ready for committment then i'm going to bounce. as much as i <3 him and always will, i'm willing to put up with challenges and if he's not then oh well. like it pisses me off that if i don't go to boston he won't even try to make it work. seirously. whatever. found out my ex had a party, a lame one, got madd wasted, was miserable, and is fat. hahahaha. and i talked to that kid from the library again :) and i know it's type weird for me to be talking to someone else when i pinky promised i wouldn't date other people no matter what, but if he doesn't want a serious relationship right now, there are other factors that do not include me, and seriously, this kid is cute and funny and sweet and i don't know, we just get along really well. he's rather funny. and as for derrick, i will always love him, whether as my best friend or something else. but if it's not meant to be, which it seems, then it isn't. he told me how much he really cares about me but i can't barely see it in his actions. ahhhhh... but this new kid. hahaha. let's not go there. no hopes but he's nice. but i keep thinking about derrick. fuckkkk.