The friendship factor!
Ya know, I have been thinking alot lately about friendship. I have had alot of friendships in my life. Most have been friends that come and go. And a few have been long time friends. And very very few have been life long friends.
I have met people and thought in my head that they would be my friends forever! But I have learned over the last few years that is not even possible. I had one friend that I thought would be with me through my hard times since I was there for her through her hard times. But as soon as my life started getting rough and hectic she stopped being around me all together. I have done that before but only when the person has said or done something that hurt me. But I never did anything to her but love her unconditionally. As with most of my friends I never judged her! But what is even more weird about the whole thing is when she stopped talking to me I lost a whole group of friends. People I shared everything with, laughed with, cried with and learned with.
Most of all I have learned most friends DO come in and out of your life. Since the people that I considered my best friends didnt care when I was going through hard times, I had to rely on people that I didnt know so well. And ya know its a funny thing because we ended up bonding over that.
I miss my old group of friends because it was like a big family. I thought for sure anytime I needed them for a good cry on the shoulder their soft cushy shoulders would be there. There are many nights I reached for the phone to call them up but figured they have moved on so mabye I should too. It has tought me that I need to rely on being my own best friend. Dont get me wrong the friends I have around me now are great. They are alot of fun and always make me feel safe and comfortable. I know I can truly be myself and they are fine with that. And even when I want to sit alone in the floor and shoot tequila while crying they ALL pile in the floor around me and make me feel more love then anything!!!!!!!!
My long time friends are great also! My roomate is one of those. We have been friends for many years and she has helped me through alot. I really never thought we would be the perfect roomates but we are. So far we have lived together almost 2 months and it has been great. I am sure we will end up having spats sometime but I think they would be easily worked out. She is so sweet too!!! The other day she brought me a dozen roses just because she thought about me. Yesterday she brought home one of my favorite drinks (Italian Soda) and some new jelly bracelets. We buy each other dinner and do nice things for each other. I really cant say anymore except that I love her to death!! If she were a vampire id switch to the midnight shift he he he wait I already did HA HA HA!!
Another friend I want to talk about is Johnny. Alot of people including family members have told me over the years that he is no good. Ya I know he has major issues but so do I!! But I have stood by him and he has stood by me. People see me do things for him all the time but they never see what he does for me. When I am laying on my bed sobbing over james he came in and kicked everyone else out and layed there with me and just held me. He always knows what to say or do to make me smile. We have a deep connection that I hope nothing ever gets in the way of. Next month (thanks to my wonderful roomate) me and johnny are going to get to experience something together that we have dreamed of for years!!!! WE GET TO SEE STAIND LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant wait!!!!!!!!!
And there are so many friends that I miss very bad!!! Lena, Eric, Eddy, Courtney, some other old SPA members, Jeff, Elisa, Steph, Brandi, Donnie, and many others. We go in and out of speaking to each other because we are all spread out in places over the states and some even in the same town. Our lives have taken different turns but they are people who have made an impact on me. I am bad at keeping in touch. And my car is a POS. But for those of you on this list know that I do love you and think about you often. I might not show it in the right way but its true!
Well I guess I will end this book with this point: I have had many friends and even though they may not be part of my life right now, they ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL! They have all touched my heart and made this Robin who she is!!
I have met people and thought in my head that they would be my friends forever! But I have learned over the last few years that is not even possible. I had one friend that I thought would be with me through my hard times since I was there for her through her hard times. But as soon as my life started getting rough and hectic she stopped being around me all together. I have done that before but only when the person has said or done something that hurt me. But I never did anything to her but love her unconditionally. As with most of my friends I never judged her! But what is even more weird about the whole thing is when she stopped talking to me I lost a whole group of friends. People I shared everything with, laughed with, cried with and learned with.
Most of all I have learned most friends DO come in and out of your life. Since the people that I considered my best friends didnt care when I was going through hard times, I had to rely on people that I didnt know so well. And ya know its a funny thing because we ended up bonding over that.
I miss my old group of friends because it was like a big family. I thought for sure anytime I needed them for a good cry on the shoulder their soft cushy shoulders would be there. There are many nights I reached for the phone to call them up but figured they have moved on so mabye I should too. It has tought me that I need to rely on being my own best friend. Dont get me wrong the friends I have around me now are great. They are alot of fun and always make me feel safe and comfortable. I know I can truly be myself and they are fine with that. And even when I want to sit alone in the floor and shoot tequila while crying they ALL pile in the floor around me and make me feel more love then anything!!!!!!!!
My long time friends are great also! My roomate is one of those. We have been friends for many years and she has helped me through alot. I really never thought we would be the perfect roomates but we are. So far we have lived together almost 2 months and it has been great. I am sure we will end up having spats sometime but I think they would be easily worked out. She is so sweet too!!! The other day she brought me a dozen roses just because she thought about me. Yesterday she brought home one of my favorite drinks (Italian Soda) and some new jelly bracelets. We buy each other dinner and do nice things for each other. I really cant say anymore except that I love her to death!! If she were a vampire id switch to the midnight shift he he he wait I already did HA HA HA!!
Another friend I want to talk about is Johnny. Alot of people including family members have told me over the years that he is no good. Ya I know he has major issues but so do I!! But I have stood by him and he has stood by me. People see me do things for him all the time but they never see what he does for me. When I am laying on my bed sobbing over james he came in and kicked everyone else out and layed there with me and just held me. He always knows what to say or do to make me smile. We have a deep connection that I hope nothing ever gets in the way of. Next month (thanks to my wonderful roomate) me and johnny are going to get to experience something together that we have dreamed of for years!!!! WE GET TO SEE STAIND LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant wait!!!!!!!!!
And there are so many friends that I miss very bad!!! Lena, Eric, Eddy, Courtney, some other old SPA members, Jeff, Elisa, Steph, Brandi, Donnie, and many others. We go in and out of speaking to each other because we are all spread out in places over the states and some even in the same town. Our lives have taken different turns but they are people who have made an impact on me. I am bad at keeping in touch. And my car is a POS. But for those of you on this list know that I do love you and think about you often. I might not show it in the right way but its true!
Well I guess I will end this book with this point: I have had many friends and even though they may not be part of my life right now, they ARE ALL VERY SPECIAL! They have all touched my heart and made this Robin who she is!!