Change?
We all go through things in our lives that cause us to be who we are..things that some of us wish would never happen in our lives..things we wish we could change and not have to have happen in our lives. But I have often wondered..if we change that one event..would our lives turn out so different..or would things have got worse or better? or would anything have changed at all? As you can see I've wrestled greatly with these questions over the course of my life.
But just last week..something major came about..I up and left my job..did I have a good reason..yes..but was it the best to validate to quit a job that was paying me..and that meant I would have money..who knows now at days..the world is going down the tubes..and we all fight for jobs..yet we still have to have our pride and still have the hope that things will change. That is what life is..its change..and things always some how keep moving forward..even if we all just up and disappear..things will still keep moving. Nothing is forever..not even the stars.
But in the few days that things have changed..that I lost a job..I am staying with family right now..my Aunt and her sons..she has three sons..two are 17 and 15..and the other is a boy age 4..but over the past few days I've been taking care of the place..cleaning..making sure chores get done..and just looking after things and doing my best to make sure..well just that..that everything would run smooth..but now I'm a bit lost for words..today I was sitting at the table with Joey..the 4yr old..well it seems like no one has shown him how to eat..he uses a fork..but not the right way..so here I am showing him how to eat a meal..
I mean me..of all people..getting kids to take showers..cleaning..teaching them how to do things..being nice. I never thought I would be that type of person..I thought I would always not want to have kids..or to even be around them..yet here I was helping and teaching them..and I found myself..well..wanting to be a father..cause teaching him how to eat..and being proud of the fact that he was doing it..it just made me sit back and wonder..was it as easy..just trying to be there..to teach..to help them along..I never knew all those things possible..but here I am..wanting to be a father..to have a family..
I guess..change comes..it comes when you least expect it..and helps us..it gives us hope.. a hope that we feared..would never come
But just last week..something major came about..I up and left my job..did I have a good reason..yes..but was it the best to validate to quit a job that was paying me..and that meant I would have money..who knows now at days..the world is going down the tubes..and we all fight for jobs..yet we still have to have our pride and still have the hope that things will change. That is what life is..its change..and things always some how keep moving forward..even if we all just up and disappear..things will still keep moving. Nothing is forever..not even the stars.
But in the few days that things have changed..that I lost a job..I am staying with family right now..my Aunt and her sons..she has three sons..two are 17 and 15..and the other is a boy age 4..but over the past few days I've been taking care of the place..cleaning..making sure chores get done..and just looking after things and doing my best to make sure..well just that..that everything would run smooth..but now I'm a bit lost for words..today I was sitting at the table with Joey..the 4yr old..well it seems like no one has shown him how to eat..he uses a fork..but not the right way..so here I am showing him how to eat a meal..
I mean me..of all people..getting kids to take showers..cleaning..teaching them how to do things..being nice. I never thought I would be that type of person..I thought I would always not want to have kids..or to even be around them..yet here I was helping and teaching them..and I found myself..well..wanting to be a father..cause teaching him how to eat..and being proud of the fact that he was doing it..it just made me sit back and wonder..was it as easy..just trying to be there..to teach..to help them along..I never knew all those things possible..but here I am..wanting to be a father..to have a family..
I guess..change comes..it comes when you least expect it..and helps us..it gives us hope.. a hope that we feared..would never come