Fear..
They say..a man without fear is a fool..so I ask what is a man with fear? I do not think they would consider him wise..if he let fear rule his life..so like many things..a man must rule his fear..he must bend it to his will..or he might end up so afraid of the world that he no longer feels there is ever going to be peace for him..now at days..I have to say..even the slightest thing seems to trigger my fears...and then my mind runs away with them..part of me wants to just give up..change my name..and run for it..never to be heard of again..but then I would be like my father..who recently..my brother found..and told me about..he was so close..its not even funny..but to think..being so close..and to never once care about your own child..something that is suppose to mean the world..that is suppose to change your life..and make you take hold and teach..it seems..in some..that trait does not carry..part of me wants to hunt him down and scream at him..part of me wants just to go to him..and ask why..the last part..just wishes he would notice me..accept me..but I am not sure which is stronger..so here I sit. Afraid of the world..and what it offers me..I used to embrace it..but now it seems that I'm not a part of it..more just someone who is renting space..and living each day around those I have no place with..so I wait..wait for it all to come to a curtin close..when the curtin goes down on my performance..and I hear the band quiet down..the crowd waits for my ancore..as I go out and the curtin lifts again..there is no one there..they have all left..and I stand on the stage..as the lights go dim..taking my final bow..for no one at all..