The Baron's ears are still ringing.
It was time to take charge of this mess. I wound my way through the retro-labyrinth, found the metal door, and kicked it clear off it’s hinges. As it crashed against the operating table and clamored to the floor of the steel room, I saw for the first time a large blank screen against the back wall with a small keyboard attached directly below it. The whole screen-keyboard apparatus was enclosed in a futuristically curved metal housing, and the glare off its highly polished surface shone like a strobe light that was stuck in the ‘on’ position. This was obviously a new feature of the place - had it descended from the incredibly tall ceiling? Did it simply materialize into existence as I had a few hours earlier?
I stood in the doorway with my fists clenched. Considering the torrential downpour of inexplicable occurrences I’d experienced over the past few hours, this newest mystery thoroughly failed to impress me. “What the hell is this…” I said aloud to myself.
As soon as this thought had escaped my mouth, the words ‘I AM A COMPUTER’ appeared on the screen in very large, sans-serif capital letters, followed almost immediately by a voice that screamed these same words so loud that I felt as if the earth would split in half and the violent sound vibrations would rattle the very soul from my body in an unparalleled cosmic seizure that foamed my brain at the mere thought of such an event.
“Stop yelling, for the love of God!” I screamed back at it.
“I CANT HELP IT, MY CAPS LOCK IS ON!” came the brief missive on the screen and the deafening shriek of the computer’s voice.
I marched up to the keyboard below the monitor and slammed my index finger onto the caps lock key, nearly ripping the entire keyboard from its housing. “How’s that?” I asked with the most sarcastic tone I could muster.
“Uh, much better, thanks.” said a very deep and soothing male voice.