HOw do I put this?  Fear is the key and the lock is me.  I cannot finish it and need to sleep and pray not to waken.  The world has gotten to me and the moment draws near.  I went to  mass and Jim is injured and I should not rely on him for my next breath.  I hope that it is understood if what happens should be a downturn. Facing the unknown is a ( Read more... )

the depression is as real as it gets and the exhaustion is the same way.

thirteen days and counting ( Read more... )

I just hit the home page and saw the watch my husband wore on sale for 12.99 and I was so tempted.  It's made by Casio and seeing it in all its splendor has left me breathless ( Read more... )

I slept last night and slept some more and woke at 5 to read e mails.  Did I fail my friend by letting her spouse that rhymes with louse and is reciprocal spend that one night here?  I wasn't strong enough to kick him out.  She wasn't secure enough to tell me her problems.  It was and is the death of a friendship that had yet to see light of day ( Read more... )

to find my water was shut off.  The bill was to have been paid.  What else could possibly go wrong.  I am tired.  I barely made it home last night, and now despite the hope others see in me, I see the darkness.  This is the straw that broke the camel's back.  I got a ticket for going through a light and I just can do this anymore.  Can't or won't ( Read more... )

I am trying to put a few pictures in the scrapbook but they say to download it to a client and I have no idea what that means ( Read more... )

I have been in the process of moving and that is a bear unto itself. I have no idea if anyone reads this and that to is o.k. The grief for this holiday is so strong and the longing at times too intense. What I really want is a quiet closet to hide in and the darkness to wash over me. Just how low does the rock have to go before I sink under it?

I miss contact and am starting to feel paranoid.  For those of you with mental health issues, you may understand this too well.  I need company and the warm embrace of someone's arms.  I'm lonely but withh no world tho build and only the cat to keep me company as she blocks my screen and flicks her tail on the key board.