path of self destruction
thirteen days and counting
i woke up again dammit. i mean that. i have the pills in front of me and so desparately want to take them. I can no longer see straight.
despite the good date with a man i barely know and embrace in the journey of knowing, I feel the darkness and the fear surrounding me. the tears fall where they may and the fear is all encompassing. How do i explain this to people who don't understand how the demons can work their way into the psyche.
And they Do!!! snap out of it doesn't work. I am flat on my back while having lost the boots and am so TIRED of getting up.
The bad joke is that you know you are in trouble when the e mail you are afraid to open is good news and the e mail that you eagerly await and long for is bad news.
In thirteen days he will have been dead for six years. In those years the days that I have struggled to keep breathing have outnumbered the days that I have awakened with joy.
I can't do this anymore and the idea of going back to a psyche ward where will use me as a guinea pig is not an option. Am I hinting at suicide?
I'll let you know once I am out of the closet.
i woke up again dammit. i mean that. i have the pills in front of me and so desparately want to take them. I can no longer see straight.
despite the good date with a man i barely know and embrace in the journey of knowing, I feel the darkness and the fear surrounding me. the tears fall where they may and the fear is all encompassing. How do i explain this to people who don't understand how the demons can work their way into the psyche.
And they Do!!! snap out of it doesn't work. I am flat on my back while having lost the boots and am so TIRED of getting up.
The bad joke is that you know you are in trouble when the e mail you are afraid to open is good news and the e mail that you eagerly await and long for is bad news.
In thirteen days he will have been dead for six years. In those years the days that I have struggled to keep breathing have outnumbered the days that I have awakened with joy.
I can't do this anymore and the idea of going back to a psyche ward where will use me as a guinea pig is not an option. Am I hinting at suicide?
I'll let you know once I am out of the closet.