(no subject)
My housemates are extremely frustrating. Rather, I am getting frustrated by them... is that the right way round?
I live in a house with three other girls. Housemate 1 has the downstairs bedroom, she has the most high-work course of the lot of us, but still has quite a bit of free time. Housemate 2 has the back upstairs bedroom, and, along with Housemate 3 who has the middle upstairs bedroom, spends the least time on campus. Housemates 1 and 2 I know from Halls of Residence before we moved in together, Housemate 3 knew Housemate 2 and joined up with us because she didn't want to live in Halls again.
I was doing alright last term. I could put up with the fact that, most of the time, Housemate 1 left plates and glasses and empty food packets and crumbs all over the living room and did her washing up but rarely, and that Housemate 2 left patronising little notes on the message board in the kitchen and made passive-aggressive comments to Housemate 1 and I about doing the cleaning. Housemate 2 already irritated me a little bit most of the time anyway - she's babied by her parents, and is completely thoughtless, selfish and spoiled, whilst never doing anything she says she will - I will not get into the hassle she put us through whilst we were getting the house sorted in the first place!
Before Christmas I had had a very stressful week, and was beginning to worry about finding a new house - I asked Housemate 2 to set up some viewings, given as she had managed to find time to search for houses on the internet and discuss them with R. She said she couldn't, because she was too busy. I got annoyed and pointed out that I was unlikely to be in the house for more than two minutes at a time and wondered house she could have time to piss around on the internet but not have time just to phone up and book a house viewing. Given as that week I had a lecture on Monday, followed by work, followed by an evening of preparing for the assessed presentation I had to give on the Tuesday morning, and then after the presentation I had to run to catch a train to York with J because we were picking up his sister to take to a concert, which we only just made it to, and then the next morning, after getting back to his at 1:30am, getting the train back to town (a trip which began at 7am) for me to go to work, and then after that I had time - just - to go home and collect everything I needed to write my essay which was due in on the Friday - before my Mum picked me up to take me back to my home town because I had a funeral to attend the next day, meaning I left the house at 8:20am on Thursday, and did not get back until 3pm, and then I had an appointment with my beautician moved forwards an hour so I could get my eyebrows done for the ball I was attending on the Friday night, after which I wrote an entire essay, finishing at 12:30am, which J had to help me footnote, before an early morning to get it submitted. She conceded my point, but still didn't book any until the next week. And still was up until 4am doing her essay, which was due in the week after mine, but which she still hadn't started. I might as well have done it myself.
Then came the Christmas holidays. I was staying in the house until Christmas Eve, because I had work. The others, however, went home within three days of the end of term. Housemate 1 was the last to leave, and it was a last minute decision because she decided she wanted to beat her friend home. And she left me with dirty dishes covering the whole kitchen. Most of which, if not all, I'm convinced were hers, as she is the only one who eats stuff with cheese sauce. And the cheese sauce had been there a while - it was crusted on. It took me three days to finish washing it all up, what with soaking and work. Even as she left, she said "I feel guilty about that washing up now," but she didn't attempt to do anything about it. She didn't come back until New Years - that would have been left there.
After I moved back when term started, I decided that I wasn't going to do anyone else's washing up, because I'd had enough. That didn't last, however, since the Landlord called me up to let me know that some people were coming around to view the house for next year - Housemate 1 having decided to move out because Housemate 2 is beginning to irritate her. We had to clean the house. The others sodded off to tidy their rooms. I cleaned the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom, and did the washing up (and there was a lot of washing up) - cleaning my room as well, after all that. Afterwards, Housemate 1, (who has never cleaned the bathroom despite having been on the rota to clean it - in fact, I am the only one who has ever cleaned the bathroom) said "Let's keep it tidy in case we get any more surprise viewings". The next day, after the people viewing the house had gone, she had started leaving crumbs and packets all over the place again, and the collection of plates, glasses, mugs and wrappers which build up on one side of the sofa - just by the little corridor to her bedroom - began to creep up again.
Housemate 1 began to rant at me more regularly about Housemate 2, about how Housemate 2's little comments about the washing up were pissing her off - and it became clear that Housemate 1 would not be tidying up after herself any time soon, as she was digging her heels in to try and make a point.
Housemate 2 just started making more comments, and refusing to pick up Housemate 1's mess because "she won't learn otherwise". Even when it got to the point where it was getting disgusting. So Housemate 3 and I were having to just clean it up as we went along, and I was getting gradually more and more annoyed at Housemate 1's insistence on leaving all her dirty plates over the place, and then going home or away for god knows how long.
Then, last week, I snapped because I had been rather busy, and left my washing - which consisted of a swimming costume, a bath towel and tea towel - in the washing machine. Instead of moving it to the airing cupboard - which would have been the work of seconds, as the bathroom is next door to the kitchen - Housemate 2 left me a note on the message board, telling me to move my laundry out of the machine so other people could use it. Housemate 1 left a slightly aggressive note back, as she has taken to doing in response to the snide little ones from Housemate 2. I wiped them off, and fed up of Housemates 1 and 2 using this as their primary means of communication, I removed the board from the kitchen.
Housemate 1 cleaned the living room and kitchen the other week to throw a 'dinner party' of sorts, then complained later that she'd had to wash nearly every dish we owned. I declined to point out that 1) she had not washed them very well, as I had been forced to rewash several the next day, and 2) that so had I, but the difference was she had been involved in their use, whereas whenever I did it it seemed to be because someone else had used them and not bothered to wash up.
What really pisses me off though is that when they're not irritating me, they are quite spectacular at hurting my feelings. Tonight is a good example of that. Housemates 1, 2 and 3 had a 'girly night'. They cooked a nice meal together, made a fecking treacle tart, then sat down and watched a film together. They didn't invite me - they perhaps knew I couldn't make it because I have other commitments on Mondays, but it's not like they have a set of jam-packed evenings the rest of the week. They never invite me to group things - hell, they've given up even having conversations with me for the most part. Housemate 3 has just started opening up to me, so that's nice, but Housemates 1 and 2, who are supposed to be my friends, feel like they are edging me out. They've always been a sort of little 'unit', but at least they used to include me in their plans - I always invite them if I doing stuff, but they always turn me down, and then never include me in their plans. J doesn't really understand, especially if it's stuff like tonight, how I can't just walk in and join in. But if I do that, I feel awkward - as if I've forcing myself in - they stop talking, the conversation becomes stilted (I can generally hear it from other rooms) and I feel like I'm intruding. If they'd wanted me there in the first place, they'd have invited me, right?
I'm not irritated at Housemate 3 - you can't get upset with her, she's so inoffensive, and she tidies up after herself, and does all her washing up. And she talks to me.
But I hate that I'm yo-yo-ing between annoyance and just being plain hurt. And I hate that next year, Housemate 1, who I get along with pretty congenially when I'm not pissed off at her ranting, or her mood swings, or her inability to pick up after herself, is moving out; and Housemate 2, who I'm beginning to be unable to having a conversation with without wanting to smack her with her bloody non-stick roasting tray, is staying - and that means her even more impossibly stupid, shallow, selfish and irritating friends will be round.
Five more months to go in this place, and then one more year, and then I'm done.
Can't come too soon.
I live in a house with three other girls. Housemate 1 has the downstairs bedroom, she has the most high-work course of the lot of us, but still has quite a bit of free time. Housemate 2 has the back upstairs bedroom, and, along with Housemate 3 who has the middle upstairs bedroom, spends the least time on campus. Housemates 1 and 2 I know from Halls of Residence before we moved in together, Housemate 3 knew Housemate 2 and joined up with us because she didn't want to live in Halls again.
I was doing alright last term. I could put up with the fact that, most of the time, Housemate 1 left plates and glasses and empty food packets and crumbs all over the living room and did her washing up but rarely, and that Housemate 2 left patronising little notes on the message board in the kitchen and made passive-aggressive comments to Housemate 1 and I about doing the cleaning. Housemate 2 already irritated me a little bit most of the time anyway - she's babied by her parents, and is completely thoughtless, selfish and spoiled, whilst never doing anything she says she will - I will not get into the hassle she put us through whilst we were getting the house sorted in the first place!
Before Christmas I had had a very stressful week, and was beginning to worry about finding a new house - I asked Housemate 2 to set up some viewings, given as she had managed to find time to search for houses on the internet and discuss them with R. She said she couldn't, because she was too busy. I got annoyed and pointed out that I was unlikely to be in the house for more than two minutes at a time and wondered house she could have time to piss around on the internet but not have time just to phone up and book a house viewing. Given as that week I had a lecture on Monday, followed by work, followed by an evening of preparing for the assessed presentation I had to give on the Tuesday morning, and then after the presentation I had to run to catch a train to York with J because we were picking up his sister to take to a concert, which we only just made it to, and then the next morning, after getting back to his at 1:30am, getting the train back to town (a trip which began at 7am) for me to go to work, and then after that I had time - just - to go home and collect everything I needed to write my essay which was due in on the Friday - before my Mum picked me up to take me back to my home town because I had a funeral to attend the next day, meaning I left the house at 8:20am on Thursday, and did not get back until 3pm, and then I had an appointment with my beautician moved forwards an hour so I could get my eyebrows done for the ball I was attending on the Friday night, after which I wrote an entire essay, finishing at 12:30am, which J had to help me footnote, before an early morning to get it submitted. She conceded my point, but still didn't book any until the next week. And still was up until 4am doing her essay, which was due in the week after mine, but which she still hadn't started. I might as well have done it myself.
Then came the Christmas holidays. I was staying in the house until Christmas Eve, because I had work. The others, however, went home within three days of the end of term. Housemate 1 was the last to leave, and it was a last minute decision because she decided she wanted to beat her friend home. And she left me with dirty dishes covering the whole kitchen. Most of which, if not all, I'm convinced were hers, as she is the only one who eats stuff with cheese sauce. And the cheese sauce had been there a while - it was crusted on. It took me three days to finish washing it all up, what with soaking and work. Even as she left, she said "I feel guilty about that washing up now," but she didn't attempt to do anything about it. She didn't come back until New Years - that would have been left there.
After I moved back when term started, I decided that I wasn't going to do anyone else's washing up, because I'd had enough. That didn't last, however, since the Landlord called me up to let me know that some people were coming around to view the house for next year - Housemate 1 having decided to move out because Housemate 2 is beginning to irritate her. We had to clean the house. The others sodded off to tidy their rooms. I cleaned the living room, the kitchen and the bathroom, and did the washing up (and there was a lot of washing up) - cleaning my room as well, after all that. Afterwards, Housemate 1, (who has never cleaned the bathroom despite having been on the rota to clean it - in fact, I am the only one who has ever cleaned the bathroom) said "Let's keep it tidy in case we get any more surprise viewings". The next day, after the people viewing the house had gone, she had started leaving crumbs and packets all over the place again, and the collection of plates, glasses, mugs and wrappers which build up on one side of the sofa - just by the little corridor to her bedroom - began to creep up again.
Housemate 1 began to rant at me more regularly about Housemate 2, about how Housemate 2's little comments about the washing up were pissing her off - and it became clear that Housemate 1 would not be tidying up after herself any time soon, as she was digging her heels in to try and make a point.
Housemate 2 just started making more comments, and refusing to pick up Housemate 1's mess because "she won't learn otherwise". Even when it got to the point where it was getting disgusting. So Housemate 3 and I were having to just clean it up as we went along, and I was getting gradually more and more annoyed at Housemate 1's insistence on leaving all her dirty plates over the place, and then going home or away for god knows how long.
Then, last week, I snapped because I had been rather busy, and left my washing - which consisted of a swimming costume, a bath towel and tea towel - in the washing machine. Instead of moving it to the airing cupboard - which would have been the work of seconds, as the bathroom is next door to the kitchen - Housemate 2 left me a note on the message board, telling me to move my laundry out of the machine so other people could use it. Housemate 1 left a slightly aggressive note back, as she has taken to doing in response to the snide little ones from Housemate 2. I wiped them off, and fed up of Housemates 1 and 2 using this as their primary means of communication, I removed the board from the kitchen.
Housemate 1 cleaned the living room and kitchen the other week to throw a 'dinner party' of sorts, then complained later that she'd had to wash nearly every dish we owned. I declined to point out that 1) she had not washed them very well, as I had been forced to rewash several the next day, and 2) that so had I, but the difference was she had been involved in their use, whereas whenever I did it it seemed to be because someone else had used them and not bothered to wash up.
What really pisses me off though is that when they're not irritating me, they are quite spectacular at hurting my feelings. Tonight is a good example of that. Housemates 1, 2 and 3 had a 'girly night'. They cooked a nice meal together, made a fecking treacle tart, then sat down and watched a film together. They didn't invite me - they perhaps knew I couldn't make it because I have other commitments on Mondays, but it's not like they have a set of jam-packed evenings the rest of the week. They never invite me to group things - hell, they've given up even having conversations with me for the most part. Housemate 3 has just started opening up to me, so that's nice, but Housemates 1 and 2, who are supposed to be my friends, feel like they are edging me out. They've always been a sort of little 'unit', but at least they used to include me in their plans - I always invite them if I doing stuff, but they always turn me down, and then never include me in their plans. J doesn't really understand, especially if it's stuff like tonight, how I can't just walk in and join in. But if I do that, I feel awkward - as if I've forcing myself in - they stop talking, the conversation becomes stilted (I can generally hear it from other rooms) and I feel like I'm intruding. If they'd wanted me there in the first place, they'd have invited me, right?
I'm not irritated at Housemate 3 - you can't get upset with her, she's so inoffensive, and she tidies up after herself, and does all her washing up. And she talks to me.
But I hate that I'm yo-yo-ing between annoyance and just being plain hurt. And I hate that next year, Housemate 1, who I get along with pretty congenially when I'm not pissed off at her ranting, or her mood swings, or her inability to pick up after herself, is moving out; and Housemate 2, who I'm beginning to be unable to having a conversation with without wanting to smack her with her bloody non-stick roasting tray, is staying - and that means her even more impossibly stupid, shallow, selfish and irritating friends will be round.
Five more months to go in this place, and then one more year, and then I'm done.
Can't come too soon.