whoosh
Last Sunday night through Wednesday early-early morning I was in my folks' place in NoVA for a quick whirlwind trip to attend my cousin's Sheva Brachot.
For those unfamiliar with Orthodox Jewish customs, the week following a wedding is a festive one, in which the happy couple is celebrated with a series of dinners at each of which the seven wedding blessings are recited.
My cousin is very orthodox. Like, I didn't go to his wedding, because there would be a mechitza (wall between the men and the women). Not touching that one with a ten foot pole...
Anyway, I went to the Sheva Brachot. It was still an ultra-Orthodox occasion, so the men and women were to sit on opposite sides of the table, only the men could sing (my mother ignored that one), etc. I had no idea how I would be received.
It turns out that once I sat down on the womens' side of the table, nearish the boundary, that nobody really questioned me at all about my gender. I didn't mention it, and neither did anyone else. Of course, my family (my mother, grandmother, and grandfather) kept screwing up my pronouns about half the time, even though they were trying. My grandfather tells me he confused the bride's father when he used a male pronoun for me -- the bride's father had no idea who he was talking about, and then he corrected himself to female.
Next layer of fun: I mentioned my fiancee. It went down kind of like this:
Person Next To Me: (being vegtarian) must make keeping kosher so much easier!
Me: Well, when I have a household of my own, I'll probably still have to keep some meat stuff, at least one cutting board and knife, around. My fiancee eats meat.
PNTM: It's always the men!
Me: ...
And, of course, for the rest of the night everyone I had just met just assumed my fiancee was male. Given how orthodox they were, I felt it would just take too much effort to explain to them otherwise, and it wasn't a battle I felt would be worth it, but I still felt kind of bad.
Also, the whole situation was just plain hilarious from that point on. Crazy stressful, still, but hilarious. When I got back to the car to head back to my parents place, I just had to laugh.
Now to call my father (it's his birthday) and figure out whether I am going to some kind of Halloween party tonight. And dressed as what. I guess if all else fails I can be an avatar of purple.
For those unfamiliar with Orthodox Jewish customs, the week following a wedding is a festive one, in which the happy couple is celebrated with a series of dinners at each of which the seven wedding blessings are recited.
My cousin is very orthodox. Like, I didn't go to his wedding, because there would be a mechitza (wall between the men and the women). Not touching that one with a ten foot pole...
Anyway, I went to the Sheva Brachot. It was still an ultra-Orthodox occasion, so the men and women were to sit on opposite sides of the table, only the men could sing (my mother ignored that one), etc. I had no idea how I would be received.
It turns out that once I sat down on the womens' side of the table, nearish the boundary, that nobody really questioned me at all about my gender. I didn't mention it, and neither did anyone else. Of course, my family (my mother, grandmother, and grandfather) kept screwing up my pronouns about half the time, even though they were trying. My grandfather tells me he confused the bride's father when he used a male pronoun for me -- the bride's father had no idea who he was talking about, and then he corrected himself to female.
Next layer of fun: I mentioned my fiancee. It went down kind of like this:
Person Next To Me: (being vegtarian) must make keeping kosher so much easier!
Me: Well, when I have a household of my own, I'll probably still have to keep some meat stuff, at least one cutting board and knife, around. My fiancee eats meat.
PNTM: It's always the men!
Me: ...
And, of course, for the rest of the night everyone I had just met just assumed my fiancee was male. Given how orthodox they were, I felt it would just take too much effort to explain to them otherwise, and it wasn't a battle I felt would be worth it, but I still felt kind of bad.
Also, the whole situation was just plain hilarious from that point on. Crazy stressful, still, but hilarious. When I got back to the car to head back to my parents place, I just had to laugh.
Now to call my father (it's his birthday) and figure out whether I am going to some kind of Halloween party tonight. And dressed as what. I guess if all else fails I can be an avatar of purple.