sometimes one must read through badfic for the good of others
Having recently seen 9 and seeing a lot of potential for fanfics, I went in search of some. Because the movie is still so new, there isn’t a lot around, but there’s still a few below-average fics.
Starting with some summaries that stuck out for me:
“The talisman, and therefore the rain, was the perfect solution.” Please excuse my absence as I’m still trying to figure out what that means. I may give the story a chance, but the summary confuses me.
“7 discovers she has a twin sister named 7.5, (that’s strike one against your fic) but it almost seems too good to be true when the twins start acting nasty towards a lost stitchpunk with extraordinary abilities. That’s strike five! Since when were the twins nasty? They’re like the physical manifestation of a sugar rush, how could they be nasty? Also, technically all the dolls are twins since they share a soul. Just my two cents on this.
“It's been only a few weeks after the Fabrication Machine had been destroyed. The ones who gave their lives to this shall forever be remembered. However, another newcomer arrives, questioning, and comits another foul mistake... or is it a mistake?”
Oh dear lord, it’s someone worse than 9! They actually know what they're doing! Maybe their mistake is neglect of the spell-checker?
“The Seamstress scenes in 7's point of view. It's not much, but I did my best. Possible 9X7.”
What would that fic even be? “Hyaaah! Take this you creepy-- oh sh*t that did nothing.”
Okay, to start this, the fic is called “7’s New Head Ornament Thingy”. If that wasn’t enough, here’s the description: “7 is in serious need of a new head ornament thingy after the loss of the bird skull, so she goes out to find one.” First of all, it wasn’t an “ornament thingy” it was a head guard, something practical. Second of all, I’m sure she could find the skull again if she looked for it, just because it wasn’t there in the final battle doesn’t mean it disappeared into thin air. And lastly... it just sounds boring.
I also started reading one fic, and while there isn’t anything horrible about it, it started to frustrate me as I continued. It just seemed... I don’t know, something that didn’t need to written at all.
The fic is a 6/oc fic (how dare you deny 5+6 and 6x9?![/bias]) with a character named 10. That should have been my warning right there.
Once the vision was over I’d be there for him. I would hold him and whisper sweet-nohings to him as he shook and spoke about the vision he just saw.
You must not know how “sweet-nothings” can be taken to people like me, because it definitely isn’t the comforting feeling you wanted to get across.
I was there for him when the Savior arrived. Oh, sweet JC, they’re using the character posters as titles. This can’t be good. He would speak of nothing but the Savior. The Savior would save us, rid us of this awful land of fear and monsters.
Y’know, after he reawakens a giant killing machine and kills off five of his new-found friends. He’s great that way.
I was there for him when the Cathedral burned down. He had run about trying to catch a fragment of paper. He had managed to catch a piece and ran to me to show it. Excitement had shone in his eyes. He opened his hand and the paper had turned to ash. Excitement was replaced with disappointment then. I was there to comfort him as we moved on.
You know what, since this OC hasn’t said a single word, I’m guessing that 6 is crazier than we think and this 10 is actually a figment of his imagination. Much more interesting that way.
With the help of the Protector, the Teacher, and the Definer we had gotten a large barrel ready to defeat the Evil.
Calling Fab Mac “the Evil” is kind of cool, but this title thing has gotten old now.
I stared as his lifeless body fell down into a deep crevice. Never to be seen again. Pain ripped my body apart.
Wait, you’re still here? You mean you're an actual character? Damn it!
I went with the Savior to the source he had spoken of.
Of course, because otherwise the author would have had to think about what 1, 7 and the twins were doing at this time instead of summarizing a movie I’ve already seen being told through the the voice of a character even more boring than 9 himself.
He waved to the Savior, the Defender, the Teacher, and the Definer. The Teacher and the Define had waved back.
That image is still adorable, even if it is in a useless fic.
He had not noticed me.
Don’t worry deary, it’s only because you’re so boring you blend into the background.
No wait, 6 finally notices her. At least, I think 10 is a girl. I wouldn’t know, s/he’s got about as much personality and use as dead air.
He stepped closer and brushed our lips lightly together. I’ll miss you. He had said.
The only way I can summarize my thoughts to this: What? What? Why is there a relationship between these two? Why are the basic rules of writing dialogue being ignored here?
Am I just bitter, or did that fic annoy anyone else? Just me? Okay then.
Starting with some summaries that stuck out for me:
“The talisman, and therefore the rain, was the perfect solution.” Please excuse my absence as I’m still trying to figure out what that means. I may give the story a chance, but the summary confuses me.
“7 discovers she has a twin sister named 7.5, (that’s strike one against your fic) but it almost seems too good to be true when the twins start acting nasty towards a lost stitchpunk with extraordinary abilities. That’s strike five! Since when were the twins nasty? They’re like the physical manifestation of a sugar rush, how could they be nasty? Also, technically all the dolls are twins since they share a soul. Just my two cents on this.
“It's been only a few weeks after the Fabrication Machine had been destroyed. The ones who gave their lives to this shall forever be remembered. However, another newcomer arrives, questioning, and comits another foul mistake... or is it a mistake?”
Oh dear lord, it’s someone worse than 9! They actually know what they're doing! Maybe their mistake is neglect of the spell-checker?
“The Seamstress scenes in 7's point of view. It's not much, but I did my best. Possible 9X7.”
What would that fic even be? “Hyaaah! Take this you creepy-- oh sh*t that did nothing.”
Okay, to start this, the fic is called “7’s New Head Ornament Thingy”. If that wasn’t enough, here’s the description: “7 is in serious need of a new head ornament thingy after the loss of the bird skull, so she goes out to find one.” First of all, it wasn’t an “ornament thingy” it was a head guard, something practical. Second of all, I’m sure she could find the skull again if she looked for it, just because it wasn’t there in the final battle doesn’t mean it disappeared into thin air. And lastly... it just sounds boring.
I also started reading one fic, and while there isn’t anything horrible about it, it started to frustrate me as I continued. It just seemed... I don’t know, something that didn’t need to written at all.
The fic is a 6/oc fic (how dare you deny 5+6 and 6x9?![/bias]) with a character named 10. That should have been my warning right there.
Once the vision was over I’d be there for him. I would hold him and whisper sweet-nohings to him as he shook and spoke about the vision he just saw.
You must not know how “sweet-nothings” can be taken to people like me, because it definitely isn’t the comforting feeling you wanted to get across.
I was there for him when the Savior arrived. Oh, sweet JC, they’re using the character posters as titles. This can’t be good. He would speak of nothing but the Savior. The Savior would save us, rid us of this awful land of fear and monsters.
Y’know, after he reawakens a giant killing machine and kills off five of his new-found friends. He’s great that way.
I was there for him when the Cathedral burned down. He had run about trying to catch a fragment of paper. He had managed to catch a piece and ran to me to show it. Excitement had shone in his eyes. He opened his hand and the paper had turned to ash. Excitement was replaced with disappointment then. I was there to comfort him as we moved on.
You know what, since this OC hasn’t said a single word, I’m guessing that 6 is crazier than we think and this 10 is actually a figment of his imagination. Much more interesting that way.
With the help of the Protector, the Teacher, and the Definer we had gotten a large barrel ready to defeat the Evil.
Calling Fab Mac “the Evil” is kind of cool, but this title thing has gotten old now.
I stared as his lifeless body fell down into a deep crevice. Never to be seen again. Pain ripped my body apart.
Wait, you’re still here? You mean you're an actual character? Damn it!
I went with the Savior to the source he had spoken of.
Of course, because otherwise the author would have had to think about what 1, 7 and the twins were doing at this time instead of summarizing a movie I’ve already seen being told through the the voice of a character even more boring than 9 himself.
He waved to the Savior, the Defender, the Teacher, and the Definer. The Teacher and the Define had waved back.
That image is still adorable, even if it is in a useless fic.
He had not noticed me.
Don’t worry deary, it’s only because you’re so boring you blend into the background.
No wait, 6 finally notices her. At least, I think 10 is a girl. I wouldn’t know, s/he’s got about as much personality and use as dead air.
He stepped closer and brushed our lips lightly together. I’ll miss you. He had said.
The only way I can summarize my thoughts to this: What? What? Why is there a relationship between these two? Why are the basic rules of writing dialogue being ignored here?
Am I just bitter, or did that fic annoy anyone else? Just me? Okay then.