Aaaaaaaaaaand we have the first melodramatic Lucifer!fic!
Well, it's mostly focused on both Sam and Lucifer not like that, but still. There's going to be more like this; I just know it. Oh, and this person hasn't heard of chapters, so it's really long, and I had to pick out a handful of overdone gems.
Sporking in bold.
“You set him free, and he’s going to be grateful! He’s going to repay you in ways that you can’t even imagine!”
--Ruby to Sam, Lucifer Rising
"He's going to give you 75%-off coupons good in every Big & Tall store in the world!"
He’d returned the cell to his pocket each time.
Except for that one time he put it in his shoe.
Dean didn’t need him.
Dean needed Bea Arthur. Unfortunately, Tess the Reaper was not willing to cooperate.
Like Dean could ever be replaced.
You could get Christian Bale...
Addiction to demon blood was a topic no one had ever bothered to research, let alone write about.
Never mind that it's presented just like a heroin or cocaine addiction, and I think they maybe might've started a little support group for that.
So, he just existed, and occasionally flirted with the hope that maybe, someday, Dean would talk to him again.
He's flirting his way back to Dean? And this isn't a Wincest fic?
Darkness claimed Sam a few blows later, whisking him into blissful unconsciousness.
Where he lost $500 in poker.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
WORST. DIVIDER. EVER.
“I’m not the monster they make me out to be. I think you, of all people, understand that, Sam. I’m not going to kill you.”
"I'm going torture you with peanut butter and duct tape."
Sam reeled. Nick? The devil’s name was Nick?
Yes. His middle name is "Elmer."
“My children…well, they aren’t as well-behaved as they should be sometimes. They won’t like it if they think you’re being rude to me.”
"They'll spray you with three gallons of Silly String."
Lucifer observed Sam for a moment, a curious frown on his face.
Which quickly turned into a giddy sneer.
“I promise you, my friend, when you meet Dean again, you’ll tell him how you honestly feel, and he will listen. But, first…you have to be honest with yourself.”
Lucifer: Prince of Darkness, Guidance Counselor.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
GAH!! MY EYES!!! That wasn't even a good idea in the first place!!
Dean squeezed the steering wheel hard enough to bend it.
The poor steering wheel!
“He wanted to repay me for setting him free. Just like Ruby said he would.”
"But she lied. He just wanted to take me to Six Flags."
The rest of the pieces could be picked up later.
When they found the original box that their Apocalypse jigsaw puzzle came in.
I wish I had some Mary Sues to spork...
Sporking in bold.
“You set him free, and he’s going to be grateful! He’s going to repay you in ways that you can’t even imagine!”
--Ruby to Sam, Lucifer Rising
"He's going to give you 75%-off coupons good in every Big & Tall store in the world!"
He’d returned the cell to his pocket each time.
Except for that one time he put it in his shoe.
Dean didn’t need him.
Dean needed Bea Arthur. Unfortunately, Tess the Reaper was not willing to cooperate.
Like Dean could ever be replaced.
You could get Christian Bale...
Addiction to demon blood was a topic no one had ever bothered to research, let alone write about.
Never mind that it's presented just like a heroin or cocaine addiction, and I think they maybe might've started a little support group for that.
So, he just existed, and occasionally flirted with the hope that maybe, someday, Dean would talk to him again.
He's flirting his way back to Dean? And this isn't a Wincest fic?
Darkness claimed Sam a few blows later, whisking him into blissful unconsciousness.
Where he lost $500 in poker.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
WORST. DIVIDER. EVER.
“I’m not the monster they make me out to be. I think you, of all people, understand that, Sam. I’m not going to kill you.”
"I'm going torture you with peanut butter and duct tape."
Sam reeled. Nick? The devil’s name was Nick?
Yes. His middle name is "Elmer."
“My children…well, they aren’t as well-behaved as they should be sometimes. They won’t like it if they think you’re being rude to me.”
"They'll spray you with three gallons of Silly String."
Lucifer observed Sam for a moment, a curious frown on his face.
Which quickly turned into a giddy sneer.
“I promise you, my friend, when you meet Dean again, you’ll tell him how you honestly feel, and he will listen. But, first…you have to be honest with yourself.”
Lucifer: Prince of Darkness, Guidance Counselor.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
GAH!! MY EYES!!! That wasn't even a good idea in the first place!!
Dean squeezed the steering wheel hard enough to bend it.
The poor steering wheel!
“He wanted to repay me for setting him free. Just like Ruby said he would.”
"But she lied. He just wanted to take me to Six Flags."
The rest of the pieces could be picked up later.
When they found the original box that their Apocalypse jigsaw puzzle came in.
I wish I had some Mary Sues to spork...