Dragons have more to eat.
How to Train Your Dragon needs a reality check. HTTYD Trouble in Berk by Willowbranch is a story that seriously makes me wish that it had been an adult movie, because then fictions like these would not happen.
Not everything goes right after Hiccup saves the dragons from the Green Death. Now it's up to Hiccup and Astrid with the help of their new friends to find out whats going on.
Now, that's a promising idea! They have the dragon's name right, it's a "what if" fic, what could go wrong? I clicked, and found the first chapter. I thought it was an author's note, as it was at the top, and in bold. Above a ruler line. Yeah. Sorry, but I have to post the whole first chapter. Why? Because at four sentences, it's hard to cut.
A long time ago, far, far away, on the island of Berk, lived a boy named Hiccup. He had befriended a dragon, which at the time was considered stupid, dangerous, among other things. Vikings were supposed to kill dragons, not become friends with them. But after convincing a girl named Astrid and the help of his dragon Toothless, he managed to defeat the dragon known as the Green Death and made Vikings and dragons live in harmony. Life on Berk was peaceful, for a while…
Okay, now, I'll admit, that's not that bad. A quick recap, probably would be better at the start of a chapter rather than the whole chapter itself. But meh. Small lead in, could be worth reading the next chapter. Spork in bold.
"Watch this!" cried Jenna, doing a triple flip on her dragon, a Monstrous Nightmare named Syren.
Ever since Hiccup had made Vikings and dragons live together she had never loved being as high up as the clouds more. The only way she ever even got close to the clouds was when she climbed the tallest tree on the island.
Here's something I don't understand. One of the huge points in the story were the viking names. Hiccup, Stoick, Fishlegs, they were named after things, for the most part. Remember, a horrible name frightens away trolls? Too bad it doesn't work for badfic writers. Jenna would never be a viking name. First, it's not a horrible name. Second, it's an Arabic name. Wrong end of the world for this time period. [/soapbox]
"Careful Jenna." Said Elaina, who was usually worried for the safety of her friends. She stood in the middle of a large field trying to help Nadine find a type of grass that was said to cure any sickness.
Nadine's room was full of grasses and bugs that she used for her experiments, which almost always ended in fail.
Elaina looked over to where Zaria and Iris, her Zippleback, stood playing with Nadine's Nadder named Chance.
Can you see a viking being allowed to collect grass and bugs? Unless she's going to be a village healer, I don't see this standing a chance.
Snip snip to the amazing part of this fic.
Fifteen minutes later, the three girls were seated around a table in the village café deciding what to have for lunch. Nadine was having a tough time choosing, Jenna went for the weirdest thing she could find on the menu, and Elaina had the same thing she always had. By the time the waiter came by to take their order they had made the final decision on what to get.
When the waiter had left Nadine brought up the subject of the upcoming farmer market. "
"Do you guys want to do something for it?" She asked.
"Like what?" Asked Jenna. "Would we open up a lemonade stand?"
Elaina and Nadine looked at each other and smiled.
"That would be a great idea!" she said enthusiastically.
"Viking love lemonade after a long days work." Elaina pointed out. [sic]
So it was settled, for the next farmers market they were going to make lemonade.
Okay, now let that sink in a moment. This is a Hiccup/Astrid story. And there's going to be something wrong in the village of Berk that HICCUP is supposed to fix. On Berk. With Hiccup. So, this isn't somewhere else in the world, or at a different time. This is Berk, with Hiccup. And cafes, and waiters, and farmer's markets, and citrus drinks in a climate that citrus can't survive in.
Let that sink in. Then remember that Toothless and Hiccup are going to have to become friends with these girls.
You may now scream in fear and anger. I already have. It didn't make this any better.
Would it be in bad taste to leave a review to this person to point out things like that?
Not everything goes right after Hiccup saves the dragons from the Green Death. Now it's up to Hiccup and Astrid with the help of their new friends to find out whats going on.
Now, that's a promising idea! They have the dragon's name right, it's a "what if" fic, what could go wrong? I clicked, and found the first chapter. I thought it was an author's note, as it was at the top, and in bold. Above a ruler line. Yeah. Sorry, but I have to post the whole first chapter. Why? Because at four sentences, it's hard to cut.
A long time ago, far, far away, on the island of Berk, lived a boy named Hiccup. He had befriended a dragon, which at the time was considered stupid, dangerous, among other things. Vikings were supposed to kill dragons, not become friends with them. But after convincing a girl named Astrid and the help of his dragon Toothless, he managed to defeat the dragon known as the Green Death and made Vikings and dragons live in harmony. Life on Berk was peaceful, for a while…
Okay, now, I'll admit, that's not that bad. A quick recap, probably would be better at the start of a chapter rather than the whole chapter itself. But meh. Small lead in, could be worth reading the next chapter. Spork in bold.
"Watch this!" cried Jenna, doing a triple flip on her dragon, a Monstrous Nightmare named Syren.
Ever since Hiccup had made Vikings and dragons live together she had never loved being as high up as the clouds more. The only way she ever even got close to the clouds was when she climbed the tallest tree on the island.
Here's something I don't understand. One of the huge points in the story were the viking names. Hiccup, Stoick, Fishlegs, they were named after things, for the most part. Remember, a horrible name frightens away trolls? Too bad it doesn't work for badfic writers. Jenna would never be a viking name. First, it's not a horrible name. Second, it's an Arabic name. Wrong end of the world for this time period. [/soapbox]
"Careful Jenna." Said Elaina, who was usually worried for the safety of her friends. She stood in the middle of a large field trying to help Nadine find a type of grass that was said to cure any sickness.
Nadine's room was full of grasses and bugs that she used for her experiments, which almost always ended in fail.
Elaina looked over to where Zaria and Iris, her Zippleback, stood playing with Nadine's Nadder named Chance.
Can you see a viking being allowed to collect grass and bugs? Unless she's going to be a village healer, I don't see this standing a chance.
Snip snip to the amazing part of this fic.
Fifteen minutes later, the three girls were seated around a table in the village café deciding what to have for lunch. Nadine was having a tough time choosing, Jenna went for the weirdest thing she could find on the menu, and Elaina had the same thing she always had. By the time the waiter came by to take their order they had made the final decision on what to get.
When the waiter had left Nadine brought up the subject of the upcoming farmer market. "
"Do you guys want to do something for it?" She asked.
"Like what?" Asked Jenna. "Would we open up a lemonade stand?"
Elaina and Nadine looked at each other and smiled.
"That would be a great idea!" she said enthusiastically.
"Viking love lemonade after a long days work." Elaina pointed out. [sic]
So it was settled, for the next farmers market they were going to make lemonade.
Okay, now let that sink in a moment. This is a Hiccup/Astrid story. And there's going to be something wrong in the village of Berk that HICCUP is supposed to fix. On Berk. With Hiccup. So, this isn't somewhere else in the world, or at a different time. This is Berk, with Hiccup. And cafes, and waiters, and farmer's markets, and citrus drinks in a climate that citrus can't survive in.
Let that sink in. Then remember that Toothless and Hiccup are going to have to become friends with these girls.
You may now scream in fear and anger. I already have. It didn't make this any better.
Would it be in bad taste to leave a review to this person to point out things like that?