Kinda Sucks Just A Little Bit
So yeah, it's been a good long while and alot of shit has happened. I mean I went on a week long drinking binge stuff ... so much for sobriety. But on a brighter side Jake spent a few nights over here last week and that was really kool. But really I guess it's bittersweet. The whole situation is really.
Like it's weird. When you know you really care for someone but yet you know you probably shouldn't. I'm not sure if that even makes any sense. I mean ... like you care for them even though they are bad for you. Or even yet, ya'll are bad for each other. It's a shitty situation and I hate it. I kind of wish things could go back to the way they were 5 years ago ... well they were that way up until a few months ago ... but things weren't complicated back then like they are now. Grr ... I don't know how to explain it. I'm not good talking about stuff like this I guess. But the whole situation just sucks I guess.
Anyways another thing ... it's weird how quick you can see who your real friends are. And how quick you can see who it is you can trust. It's kind of sad ... I've never gave my trust easily ... but a few people had it ... and it really does surprise me to see how wrong I was to give it to them. And it really just makes you even more paranoid ... not trusting people sucks. Having your "friends" turn on you sucks. I mean I've ranted about how lucky I am to have the few people that I can go to and talk to and trust ... but I mean really ... anyone will turn on you. And it really does suck because I'm kind of back to the whole DTA (Don't Trust Anyone) area ... and it sucks ... because I liked trusting people. It was a stupid thing to do ... but it made me feel good at the time I guess. It was a stupid thing to do and now I'm paying by looking stupid. Sucks.
Anyways ... the people who betrayed my trust, talked behind my back, and were "false-friends" ... well they all can kiss my ass. No, I take that back. I'm not even about to be angry or bitter about it. If people want to be shady than that's kool ... I know better than to trust so easily now (and it's extremely hard to get my trust) ... you live and learn I guess. Just sucks that there's so many shady people. Oh well ... I just hope things will work out one way or the other ... I need some peace from all the drama. ... I'm out ...
Like it's weird. When you know you really care for someone but yet you know you probably shouldn't. I'm not sure if that even makes any sense. I mean ... like you care for them even though they are bad for you. Or even yet, ya'll are bad for each other. It's a shitty situation and I hate it. I kind of wish things could go back to the way they were 5 years ago ... well they were that way up until a few months ago ... but things weren't complicated back then like they are now. Grr ... I don't know how to explain it. I'm not good talking about stuff like this I guess. But the whole situation just sucks I guess.
Anyways another thing ... it's weird how quick you can see who your real friends are. And how quick you can see who it is you can trust. It's kind of sad ... I've never gave my trust easily ... but a few people had it ... and it really does surprise me to see how wrong I was to give it to them. And it really just makes you even more paranoid ... not trusting people sucks. Having your "friends" turn on you sucks. I mean I've ranted about how lucky I am to have the few people that I can go to and talk to and trust ... but I mean really ... anyone will turn on you. And it really does suck because I'm kind of back to the whole DTA (Don't Trust Anyone) area ... and it sucks ... because I liked trusting people. It was a stupid thing to do ... but it made me feel good at the time I guess. It was a stupid thing to do and now I'm paying by looking stupid. Sucks.
Anyways ... the people who betrayed my trust, talked behind my back, and were "false-friends" ... well they all can kiss my ass. No, I take that back. I'm not even about to be angry or bitter about it. If people want to be shady than that's kool ... I know better than to trust so easily now (and it's extremely hard to get my trust) ... you live and learn I guess. Just sucks that there's so many shady people. Oh well ... I just hope things will work out one way or the other ... I need some peace from all the drama. ... I'm out ...