the raw tummult

[babyseagull]

i go a bit stir crazy from time to time.  restless in the soul.  i start to do things and quit rapidly for hours.  i feel an uneasiness.  i eat a lot, make excuses to rest a lot and then think of all the things that i should be doing a lot so that i can't enjoy my rest and my food.   it feels ghostly and hopeless and forever, and then it passes just as quickly, in the span of time, as it appeared.  this is my today.  the first half was quite a day of indecision and unrest.  the second half, not to mention the sunny half, has been much more wholesome.  maggie (the dog) and i are feeling similarly by the look in her eyes.  we are just not quite sure what to do amid these boxes and new sounds and neighbors.  i have been slowly unpacking and attempting to build pretty rooms but my vision isn't clear but for little spatterings within the hours.  it is coming along now. i would like to thank the wind chimes and the jaw bone, jeremy chime i made.  they are really helping spruce up the air around this place.  the wind is blowing through my heart again instead of right around it, as if it were a rock (or an island).  i half cleaned the kitchen and half placed some plants and i am feeling half way back to normal again. 
maggie has been looking fully morose all day so i figured we could both enjoy a river trip.  i got more than i paid for in mosquito bites, but i also found some peace in the sun, in the sand.  the smell of cottonwood is a homemaker in my heart.  it takes me places and all of them are good.  kelly pt park is white with cotton and the air is thick with cottonwood musk at this moment.  maggie smiled as i attempted to sunburn my belly between throwing sticks for her.  she is very beautiful.