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We went straight from the Oakland airport to the wedding rehersal. We were late, of course, but everybody was still standing up. Everybody i absolutely love was there...Cynthia, Aunt Sue, Aunt Amanda, Alexander, Granny Phyllis, "Grampa", Jeff and Barbra, C.P (not Bagna),Taylor and Jojo, Noni and Devin, Aunt Sarah, Jen, Willy...some of them i haven't seen in such a long time, since i was really little. Hugs, introductions to people we had never met (Jen's family mostly), food, laughter. The speeches were just so beautiful for the most part (Jeff gave one that talked about a mistress...it was awkward), devin and i sat together and caught up, everybody brought up old inside jokes and stories about Willy and Jen, how creative of people they were. They're definitly one of the best couples i've ever seen...I absolutely adore them both. I sat next to Uncle Alexander who spilled beer TWICE, once on me, and for some reason i laughed so hard. Dad and mom didn't sit together, but i guess it would have been weird if they had. I sat there laughing and listening to stories about family and love and how beautiful a couple these two would make. I kept thinking about Mom and Dad's wedding, the pictures and stories i heard, how he sang to her, how it was on the most romantic island and the most beautiful Christian church in the world, and how HE had been accepted into our HUGE family the same way Jen was being now. It was almost like he was saying "goodbye" and Jen was being brought in. After the speeches and everybody was up mingling again, Uncle Alexander came up to me and said "I don't know if i'm going to get to talk to you alone at all for the rest of this weekend, so i just wanted to say that i was your age when my parents split up, and it sucks. If you ever need to talk, just call me." He was the only family member that said anything about it to me the whole fucking weekend. At the Ach's (Amanda wasn't there, she's at boarding school in southern california), Linda came up to me in the kitchen and as i leaned against the counter "I couldn't let this whole weekend go by without saying anything...i know that what's going on with your parents is tough, but i just want you to know that nothing with us will change. We're all friends, your parents are friends, we're always here for you." I guess Aunt Amanda said something; after asking Laine and i who we'd marry out of all of Willy's groomsmen, she told us what a gentleman our Dad was for coming, how her ex-husband would never have done this.
Saturday morning we visit Nick's house, 5 stories and one person. An amazing view, huge rooms, the nicest kitchen, party places. He obviously wants a family, nobody knows if he's gay or not. But i ADORE nick, and we met his parents, he had muffins (i was eating a bagel when we got there; "what's the one rule about nick's house? we always have food!"). I wish we saw him more often.
The wedding itself was so beautiful, somewhere about a half hour outside of San Francisco, at Max and Tayna's place which is HUGE. The fall brances woven to make an alter, the pond, the trees, the colors. After a long hilarious dinner with yet more speeches and hugs and crying, there was salsa dancing. Cynthia is the most amazing dancer in the world, long and tall with a flowing long dress. She reminds me of an angel, she really does. Everybody went out and danced to the band, wild dancing. Our whole family (mom, dad, laine, me) stood and watched from outside from the canopy. Mom started to dance with Aunt Sarah, and tried to get Dad to go dance with her, and he basically shook his head. However, when they taught us how to dance, and the women and men went to different sides, Dad walked to the men's side. He danced with Aunt Cynthia for a long time, holding her waist and laughing and together; these two thin, tall, beautiful people danced, and they both seemed so happy. Mom stood out and talked to people, and didn't dance anymore. I went around in the dark, for the first time in my life wishing i had something to smoke, to the other side, where Cynthia's husband, Brian, stood watching his wife dance with my dad. The colorful lights, the cool California air, everybody in the same room dancing, i took pictures. One of the gorgeous bridesmades tried to teach me how to dance, and i danced with Dad and Grandpa. They had the perfect wedding imaginable.
The night after the rehersal dinner, we drove to the Ach's house, on the way driving by our old house on 17th street. I cried so hard. If i had known, as a seven year old, jumping up and down on the couch "we're moving! we're moving!", that seven years LATER, i'd be driving by with both parents - our last family vacation - about to seperate, listening to this song...i don't know. I see everybody's old houses and i know that this was the store i used to buy ice cream bars out, this is the block that i went up to every door step and sang "i love you" to Baba, the block i walked around throwing a tantrum on because Nana was going home...God, it just was so hard to realize how far we've come and maybe not in the right direction. I wanted to keep crying when we got to the Ach's, cry to Linda and just scream and cry and talk. But we came into their huge new house (well, not new, of course there are tons of memories there with my old best friend), and it was dark and Linda asked if i was okay, and i just hugged her and Andy and pet their new dog Henry. Life changes, it's good for me.
One of the absolute most upsetting things this whole trip was seeing Debbie. Mom's best friend has extreme cancer, she's had chemo twice and it hasn't done anything good, and she's now trying some new treatment that hasn't been approved by the FDA. She is the thinnest adult i've ever known, amazingly different from how she used to be...pale, wearing a wig, SO THIN. Her six year old daughter was so happy, Tommy and Louise were there, who are both basically adults now. Tommy was my 8th grade buddy at SF Day when i was in kindergarten. We don't know how much longer she'll make it. She's the sweetest, most admirerable, put together woman in the world...we sat in their gorgeous huge living room with everybody and everyone acted so happy to see each other. Debbie got really upset when we didn't have a camera to take a picture. Mom got into the rental car afterwards and just cried and cried so hard. I can't even imagine what it's like for any of them.
Saturday morning we visit Nick's house, 5 stories and one person. An amazing view, huge rooms, the nicest kitchen, party places. He obviously wants a family, nobody knows if he's gay or not. But i ADORE nick, and we met his parents, he had muffins (i was eating a bagel when we got there; "what's the one rule about nick's house? we always have food!"). I wish we saw him more often.
The wedding itself was so beautiful, somewhere about a half hour outside of San Francisco, at Max and Tayna's place which is HUGE. The fall brances woven to make an alter, the pond, the trees, the colors. After a long hilarious dinner with yet more speeches and hugs and crying, there was salsa dancing. Cynthia is the most amazing dancer in the world, long and tall with a flowing long dress. She reminds me of an angel, she really does. Everybody went out and danced to the band, wild dancing. Our whole family (mom, dad, laine, me) stood and watched from outside from the canopy. Mom started to dance with Aunt Sarah, and tried to get Dad to go dance with her, and he basically shook his head. However, when they taught us how to dance, and the women and men went to different sides, Dad walked to the men's side. He danced with Aunt Cynthia for a long time, holding her waist and laughing and together; these two thin, tall, beautiful people danced, and they both seemed so happy. Mom stood out and talked to people, and didn't dance anymore. I went around in the dark, for the first time in my life wishing i had something to smoke, to the other side, where Cynthia's husband, Brian, stood watching his wife dance with my dad. The colorful lights, the cool California air, everybody in the same room dancing, i took pictures. One of the gorgeous bridesmades tried to teach me how to dance, and i danced with Dad and Grandpa. They had the perfect wedding imaginable.
The night after the rehersal dinner, we drove to the Ach's house, on the way driving by our old house on 17th street. I cried so hard. If i had known, as a seven year old, jumping up and down on the couch "we're moving! we're moving!", that seven years LATER, i'd be driving by with both parents - our last family vacation - about to seperate, listening to this song...i don't know. I see everybody's old houses and i know that this was the store i used to buy ice cream bars out, this is the block that i went up to every door step and sang "i love you" to Baba, the block i walked around throwing a tantrum on because Nana was going home...God, it just was so hard to realize how far we've come and maybe not in the right direction. I wanted to keep crying when we got to the Ach's, cry to Linda and just scream and cry and talk. But we came into their huge new house (well, not new, of course there are tons of memories there with my old best friend), and it was dark and Linda asked if i was okay, and i just hugged her and Andy and pet their new dog Henry. Life changes, it's good for me.
One of the absolute most upsetting things this whole trip was seeing Debbie. Mom's best friend has extreme cancer, she's had chemo twice and it hasn't done anything good, and she's now trying some new treatment that hasn't been approved by the FDA. She is the thinnest adult i've ever known, amazingly different from how she used to be...pale, wearing a wig, SO THIN. Her six year old daughter was so happy, Tommy and Louise were there, who are both basically adults now. Tommy was my 8th grade buddy at SF Day when i was in kindergarten. We don't know how much longer she'll make it. She's the sweetest, most admirerable, put together woman in the world...we sat in their gorgeous huge living room with everybody and everyone acted so happy to see each other. Debbie got really upset when we didn't have a camera to take a picture. Mom got into the rental car afterwards and just cried and cried so hard. I can't even imagine what it's like for any of them.