You never really get away.
You move on, make new friends, have good times, live your life and do everything "normal/' or as normal as you ever did. But the pain never really ever goes away, needless to say the insomnia hasn't gotten any better, I'm still up all hours tossing and turning and frankly feeling quite miserable and remebering.
i cleaned out a bunch of closets and shit for denise, so there were loads of pictures from happier times. I may have stated this before, but I find it odd how different I look. Not even them, or us, or everyone toghether and happy but just physically... real smiles. And happy, honestly happy pictures.
I even looked better, not sure why. Just can't help with the gross feeling I guess. fuck this post is useless, I shouldn't have looked through the fucking photos. Because now I really just feel depressed, shitty, ugly and my head hurts.
I just feel mostly alone, not even in the stupid relationship sence, just friend wise.
I miss that group, I miss the best friends i've had since I moved to this stupid town and I miss all the close friends I have met along the way, and I miss the kinds of friendship we had. And the closeness, at the moment it's just becoming more appartent how un-close my remaing relationships are, or uncaring maybe.
fucked if I know, my head hurts and i'm really upset, so this post is probobly nonsence. I just feel shitty, and sometimes this helps, and i'd rather not start to cry again because that just makes me feel pathetic.
Actually so does using the word 'feel" so often.. eh, fuck it maybe i am weak and pathetic.