Setbacks & Silver Linings
I’ve found that when life throws you a curveball, it can actually work out to be better for you, in the long run. The curveball in this case is that I am no longer pregnant. On Saturday, the spotting that I had been having during red and increased in volume, and I was curled up in a ball on the floor intermittently crying because of the pain on my right side. I called my midwife and left a message. I called the walk-in clinic, who apparently cannot dispense medical advice over the phone (and does not have an ultrasound machine) was not helpful. So, I made the command decision and asked Joel to drive me to the ER. Illicitly, so exciting! We still managed to hit every red light between the apartment and the hospital.
The staff was great! They were super helpful and supportive. I got right in as Saturday morning around 10:30 is not apparently rush hour at the ER. The nurse took my vitals while the doctor on the floor talked to me about my symptoms and scheduled some tests. They took several vials of blood, I peed into a cup, and they hooked me up to an IV. The tests confirmed that I was indeed pregnant(!), but didn’t show any signs of infection. I was also scheduled for an ultrasound, because the signs were pointing towards an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is one where the embryo implants somewhere other than the uterus. My head nurse injected Dillotid (sp?) for the pain. The pain at this time was about a 6 or 7 on the 1 to 10 scale they use at the ER. The dillotid worked like a charm, and I was able to get comfortable and stay relatively calm.
There were relatively long periods between visits from doctors and nurses, so Joel and I watched TV and chatted intermittently. I had to pee every 30 minutes because of the IV and the pregnancy hormones, so Joel would act as my IV bag carrier and we’d visit the bathroom every so often. Joel was nervous and scared, but did a good job of hiding it and keeping me calm - not that he needed to do much because of the effects of the pain medication.
The ultrasound was probably one of the more difficult parts of the visit. The technician couldn’t see anything with the on-the-belly instrument and so needed to do a transvaginal ultrasound. I don’t know how I would have made it through that without the pain medication and squeezing Joel’s hand. She had to move the unit all around inside me, which caused some pretty righteous cramping on top of the pain I was already feeling, but I tried to keep breathing and stay relaxed “down there.”
The obgyn doctor on staff looked over the results of the ultrasound. Based on the results of the test I had a strong pregnancy, but they couldn’t find it! They did however; see a lot of fluid in my right fallopian tube. About half of ectopic pregnancies resolve themselves by miscarrying. If the rest are caught early enough, a chemotherapy drug can be used to resolve the situation. In my case, the tube was on the verge of rupturing. The embryo was trying to exit the tube partially out the end and partially out the side of the tube. Ouch. I was scheduled for surgery. There was signing of forms to allow the surgery and talking to different people (anesthesiologist, etc.) while we waited for the OR to be open. The surgery was estimated to take about an hour. The last thing I remember was the warmed towel they covered me with in the OR, and then I was waking up in the recovery room.
The surgery took almost two hours. Poor Joel! He was so nervous when the surgery took twice as long as they told him it would. Apparently, even the sports car magazine with the 3D glasses wasn’t enough of a distraction for him! We were in the recovery room for a couple more hours while the anesthesia wore off and I proved that I could perform basic bodily functions like peeing, swallowing crackers, and getting dressed. I was given anti-nausea medication when I turned green on the first walk back from the bathroom. You know, people really turn green? It’s not just a colorful saying. To add to the chemical cocktails of the day, the nurse had me take a Percocet/Tylenol combo before we headed out. Joel took me home, hitting every red light yet again, where I sipped broth and water while wrapped in blankets on the couch. Joel proceeded to eat and then pass out.
I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor yesterday to get the full scoop. When the doctors when in with the little camera, they found a lot more blood then they were expecting. They removed as much of the pregnancy tissue as they could, but they had to take the tube out in the end. The bleeding and the location of the pregnancy had damaged the tube, and I probably would have bled to death if the tube had stayed. The bleeding aside, leaving the tube in would have dramatically increased my chances of future ectopic pregnancies. Apparently, I have beautiful ovaries and my left side is in excellent shape. We need to wait another cycle before attempting to try and conceive again, but the doctor is very optimistic for our chances as well.
Those were the setbacks. The silver linings are many, in my opinion. We now know that we can get pregnant! This was a worry we both had, because we have never had a pregnancy scare before and we’ve been together for 11 years. In the back of my mind, I just felt that something wasn’t right and I was wondering how I was going to get through the next 7 and a half months in this much pain. I understand that being pregnant is uncomfortable, but what I felt seemed just wrong somehow. Intuition is amazing isn’t it? We have a little more time now. More time to reach our savings goals of funding the birth and the fund to cover expenses while I am out on maternity leave (baby moon fund). I think I am entitled to 6 weeks, but that is not nearly enough in my mind, and I would like to take twice that at least and ideally 4 - 5 months. I have more time to unbusy my life and to add in regular meditation and yoga. There is more time to get myself and my cardio system in better shape, which will result in a healthier pregnancy and easier birth.
I feel overwhelmingly positive and I have absolute faith that I will get pregnant again. Joel is sad, and I didn’t realize just how excited he was about the pregnancy until this situation happened. He is coming around to positive and is now beginning to look forward to trying again.
The staff was great! They were super helpful and supportive. I got right in as Saturday morning around 10:30 is not apparently rush hour at the ER. The nurse took my vitals while the doctor on the floor talked to me about my symptoms and scheduled some tests. They took several vials of blood, I peed into a cup, and they hooked me up to an IV. The tests confirmed that I was indeed pregnant(!), but didn’t show any signs of infection. I was also scheduled for an ultrasound, because the signs were pointing towards an ectopic pregnancy. An ectopic pregnancy is one where the embryo implants somewhere other than the uterus. My head nurse injected Dillotid (sp?) for the pain. The pain at this time was about a 6 or 7 on the 1 to 10 scale they use at the ER. The dillotid worked like a charm, and I was able to get comfortable and stay relatively calm.
There were relatively long periods between visits from doctors and nurses, so Joel and I watched TV and chatted intermittently. I had to pee every 30 minutes because of the IV and the pregnancy hormones, so Joel would act as my IV bag carrier and we’d visit the bathroom every so often. Joel was nervous and scared, but did a good job of hiding it and keeping me calm - not that he needed to do much because of the effects of the pain medication.
The ultrasound was probably one of the more difficult parts of the visit. The technician couldn’t see anything with the on-the-belly instrument and so needed to do a transvaginal ultrasound. I don’t know how I would have made it through that without the pain medication and squeezing Joel’s hand. She had to move the unit all around inside me, which caused some pretty righteous cramping on top of the pain I was already feeling, but I tried to keep breathing and stay relaxed “down there.”
The obgyn doctor on staff looked over the results of the ultrasound. Based on the results of the test I had a strong pregnancy, but they couldn’t find it! They did however; see a lot of fluid in my right fallopian tube. About half of ectopic pregnancies resolve themselves by miscarrying. If the rest are caught early enough, a chemotherapy drug can be used to resolve the situation. In my case, the tube was on the verge of rupturing. The embryo was trying to exit the tube partially out the end and partially out the side of the tube. Ouch. I was scheduled for surgery. There was signing of forms to allow the surgery and talking to different people (anesthesiologist, etc.) while we waited for the OR to be open. The surgery was estimated to take about an hour. The last thing I remember was the warmed towel they covered me with in the OR, and then I was waking up in the recovery room.
The surgery took almost two hours. Poor Joel! He was so nervous when the surgery took twice as long as they told him it would. Apparently, even the sports car magazine with the 3D glasses wasn’t enough of a distraction for him! We were in the recovery room for a couple more hours while the anesthesia wore off and I proved that I could perform basic bodily functions like peeing, swallowing crackers, and getting dressed. I was given anti-nausea medication when I turned green on the first walk back from the bathroom. You know, people really turn green? It’s not just a colorful saying. To add to the chemical cocktails of the day, the nurse had me take a Percocet/Tylenol combo before we headed out. Joel took me home, hitting every red light yet again, where I sipped broth and water while wrapped in blankets on the couch. Joel proceeded to eat and then pass out.
I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor yesterday to get the full scoop. When the doctors when in with the little camera, they found a lot more blood then they were expecting. They removed as much of the pregnancy tissue as they could, but they had to take the tube out in the end. The bleeding and the location of the pregnancy had damaged the tube, and I probably would have bled to death if the tube had stayed. The bleeding aside, leaving the tube in would have dramatically increased my chances of future ectopic pregnancies. Apparently, I have beautiful ovaries and my left side is in excellent shape. We need to wait another cycle before attempting to try and conceive again, but the doctor is very optimistic for our chances as well.
Those were the setbacks. The silver linings are many, in my opinion. We now know that we can get pregnant! This was a worry we both had, because we have never had a pregnancy scare before and we’ve been together for 11 years. In the back of my mind, I just felt that something wasn’t right and I was wondering how I was going to get through the next 7 and a half months in this much pain. I understand that being pregnant is uncomfortable, but what I felt seemed just wrong somehow. Intuition is amazing isn’t it? We have a little more time now. More time to reach our savings goals of funding the birth and the fund to cover expenses while I am out on maternity leave (baby moon fund). I think I am entitled to 6 weeks, but that is not nearly enough in my mind, and I would like to take twice that at least and ideally 4 - 5 months. I have more time to unbusy my life and to add in regular meditation and yoga. There is more time to get myself and my cardio system in better shape, which will result in a healthier pregnancy and easier birth.
I feel overwhelmingly positive and I have absolute faith that I will get pregnant again. Joel is sad, and I didn’t realize just how excited he was about the pregnancy until this situation happened. He is coming around to positive and is now beginning to look forward to trying again.