Dear Vince,
Yes, it's been a year already (actually tomorrow would be a year to the day) since I saw you last. I doubt you'll read this, but just in case, I'll make this a public entry (the main point of this entry is for closure / reflection anyway. Though, admittedly, I'd find it a little creepy if you've been periodically checking back to see if I'd post something public, but that's highly unlikely, and also makes me seem like some conceited person who thinks you have nothing better to do with your life which I'm sure isn't true). Just to clear a few things up, I realize the things I said on this journal were immature and uncalled for, and I want to apologize for writing them. As you probably know, when you were my coach for the 2004-2005 season, we had a unique relationship. I would often attempt to find contradictions in your speeches, but, contrary to what you might believe, I didn't do this because I hated you. I'm not completely sure why I did, perhaps it was to keep my mind sharp or keep things interesting, and probably sometimes out of spite when you did something to piss me off, but I didn't hate you. However, following the 04-05 season, there were a few reasons I was angry with you which fueled me to post such things. First of all, you kicked me out of your group. Sure, I really enjoyed having Izy as my coach, but honestly, how do you think that made me feel? Though I brushed it off because we certainly had our differences, and it was easier for me to get along with Izy, I felt like I wasn't good enough, like just because I was injured, I suddenly sucked too much and you could no longer waste your time coaching me. Truthfully, I viewed you as a very good coach when it came to gymnastics. I may not have wanted to become your friend or whatever, but you really helped me improve my gymnastics skills. I literally went from the bottom to the middle (if not higher) and to the top when it came to pommel horse. Though hard work on my part was definitely involved, it was also your coaching that helped get me there, so it definitely didn't make me feel good to return to the gym only to find you'd discarded me. During my post-surgery recovery period, I came into the gym to condition and work on my physical therapy exercises. Because I didn't have a structured work out, I was often times all over the gym, and on more than one occasion I heard you talking negatively about a few gymnasts who were working out with Izy. Personally, I found this to be extremely unprofessional, that you, as the head coach were talking to other parents about how much other gymnasts sucked. Though I never specifically heard you talk about me, those were the guys I worked out with, and the fact that you freely insulted them, left me more than a little bitter. Those are probably the two biggest reasons why you made me angry and why I said what I said. The posts I made were a little heat of the moment, uninformed, and obviously immature, but I hope you can see where I was coming from. Also, I want you to know your confrontation about my internet postings and my quitting gymnastics were not linked. It was coincidence. My physical therapist recommended that I take a long break, if not quit, gymnastics. If you care to know, I'm loving my post-gymnastics life. I've had so many opportunities and experiences that I definitely wouldn't have had if I was still in gymnastics. I finally have/had time to go out on the weekends, to join the track and field team and pole vault!, to get a summer internship at Asm. Torrico's office (which was one of the best things I've ever done in my life, seriously), and so many other things. I don't mean this to be insulting in any way, but I'm really glad I quit. In fact, I think this shoulder injury ended up being for the best. In the past year, I feel like I've become a different person. Previously I had clinged (clung?) to gymnastics. It was like my comfort blankie, and I was afraid to veer away from it. After my shoulder injury, I was forced to leave the blankie behind, and try new things which turned out to be both rewarding and, in my opinion, necessary in my transition towards college. I guess that's all I have to say. I wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Jonathon
I realize seeing as it's been a year, I really should have gotten over this by now, but I never had the opportunity to tell him those things, so I guess I did it for closure? And the latter part to reflect about life in the past year.