Breaking News
It is this reporter's sad duty to inform the public that the eccentric wizard Muggles knew as the "King of Pop" and "Michael Jackson," among other names, has passed away. The unexpected news sent shockwaves across the globe this afternoon, when Mr Jackson, aka Michellius Jackstone, succumbed to cardiac arrest. Mediwizards found him, unresponsive, in his posh, rented house in Los Angeles, California. A state where he has lived for several decades following an embarrassing potions related incident that all but banned him from proper Wizarding society. His concerts were constantly both praised as impressive, revolutionary feats of "technology," and widely criticized for coming dangerously close to exposing the Magical community to the rest of the world. Among the disturbances caused immediately following his death, were tears of sorrow and the apparent temporary "breaking" of the internet.
In completely related news, the Muggle American actress Farrah Fawcett tragically preceded Mr Jackstone in death by mere hours this morning, after a long battle with cancer. And following news of Mr Jackstone's death, it was reported that another well-known American wizard, Jeff Goldblum, had died in a tragic accident while filming in New Zealand. Following news of Mr Goldblum's supposed "death" was news that yet another actor, Harrison Ford, had also died from an unknown cause. The latter two stories were fortunately found to be hoaxes.
Regardless, this reporter feels as if there is some sinister plot to exterminate Magical actors, and as such, forces this reporter to say the following:
Where is Alan Rickman, and when he is found, somebody, for the love of Merlin put him in a padded room with paramedics on standby just in case!!!!
In completely related news, the Muggle American actress Farrah Fawcett tragically preceded Mr Jackstone in death by mere hours this morning, after a long battle with cancer. And following news of Mr Jackstone's death, it was reported that another well-known American wizard, Jeff Goldblum, had died in a tragic accident while filming in New Zealand. Following news of Mr Goldblum's supposed "death" was news that yet another actor, Harrison Ford, had also died from an unknown cause. The latter two stories were fortunately found to be hoaxes.
Regardless, this reporter feels as if there is some sinister plot to exterminate Magical actors, and as such, forces this reporter to say the following:
Where is Alan Rickman, and when he is found, somebody, for the love of Merlin put him in a padded room with paramedics on standby just in case!!!!