(no subject)
i rented the notebook
it was almost as good as the book
it made me cry a lot
i guess i just needed to be able to do that today
i didn't shower
but i did get dressed and brush my hair
i am beginning to think that i will always be lazy
i like it though
i like not caring about anything but whats inside
i like knowing that everything i do is for me and what i need to do
today i lived for me
not anyone else
today it was my life
tomorrow will be my life
and yesterday was my life
i like it that way
i am going to be who i am
love who i love
and fear what i fear
and nobody can change that now
nobody can tell me that it is wrong
because something inside of me has changed over time
somehow i became strong
i still have weaknesses
but i will not break
i have learned a lot about life in the past couple of years
some days are good
and some are bad
some you just don't want to even get out of bed
but thats part of it
if it wasn't for the worst of the worst
the best of the best wouldn't feel so great
maybe today isn't a good day
but that only means if tomorrow is a good one
it will feel that much better
there needs to be that hope
so i feel like i am sounding extremely sappy and corny
so i probably am
but oh well
these are just the thoughts in my head
i have kept them quiet for too long
i think that people think i am someone totally different than what i am
at least on the inside
i don't know if anyone truely knows me
but that is the way i made it
i wanted everything true about me
every thought in my head
to be mine and only mine
is that selfish?
I have always been terrible about opening up
i have this act where i am so outgoing and fearless about other people
but i am more scared than anyone could ever know
i want to be perfect for everyone
but i am not
i am so loud about everything to cover up whats really in my head
all my insecurities
but its okay now
i know that i am allowed to be scared sometimes
i doubt if anyone reading this really cares
maybe nobody is even reading it
maybe you don't get it
thats okay
i am doing this for me
nothing is wrong
i am fine
i am more than fine
i am actually doing great
and for the first time in my life
i feel like it is okay to just be me
i finally feel like that is enough
it was almost as good as the book
it made me cry a lot
i guess i just needed to be able to do that today
i didn't shower
but i did get dressed and brush my hair
i am beginning to think that i will always be lazy
i like it though
i like not caring about anything but whats inside
i like knowing that everything i do is for me and what i need to do
today i lived for me
not anyone else
today it was my life
tomorrow will be my life
and yesterday was my life
i like it that way
i am going to be who i am
love who i love
and fear what i fear
and nobody can change that now
nobody can tell me that it is wrong
because something inside of me has changed over time
somehow i became strong
i still have weaknesses
but i will not break
i have learned a lot about life in the past couple of years
some days are good
and some are bad
some you just don't want to even get out of bed
but thats part of it
if it wasn't for the worst of the worst
the best of the best wouldn't feel so great
maybe today isn't a good day
but that only means if tomorrow is a good one
it will feel that much better
there needs to be that hope
so i feel like i am sounding extremely sappy and corny
so i probably am
but oh well
these are just the thoughts in my head
i have kept them quiet for too long
i think that people think i am someone totally different than what i am
at least on the inside
i don't know if anyone truely knows me
but that is the way i made it
i wanted everything true about me
every thought in my head
to be mine and only mine
is that selfish?
I have always been terrible about opening up
i have this act where i am so outgoing and fearless about other people
but i am more scared than anyone could ever know
i want to be perfect for everyone
but i am not
i am so loud about everything to cover up whats really in my head
all my insecurities
but its okay now
i know that i am allowed to be scared sometimes
i doubt if anyone reading this really cares
maybe nobody is even reading it
maybe you don't get it
thats okay
i am doing this for me
nothing is wrong
i am fine
i am more than fine
i am actually doing great
and for the first time in my life
i feel like it is okay to just be me
i finally feel like that is enough