"Coming clean"
Sooo much has happened in the past week. I'll just list it cuz it's really complicated and elaborate.
-been talking to Faith which is nothing but a good thing
-had a huge long convo w/ Danielle and we're really good now
-told Caity I read her journal
-had the 2 most stressful, hectic, Emo days of my life:
-Caity went to rehab (INPATIENT)yesterday
-Caity got sent to the ER (never ever ever been so scared and worried in my life!)
-Had lunch with Caity's parents and some bonding time on the way home. Went back to Caity's house and had one of the biggest breakdowns ever. Insane panic attacks and tonz of crying and praying harder than I EVER had in my life. All the while having no idea what was going on with Caity and having her blade stare me down. Got through it though.
-Went with Caity's dad to pick her up from the ER last nite had quite the long convo with him on the 2 hr ride to New London and in not so many words vaguely assured him that we were together and that I love her more than anything.
-Woke up and left to take Caity back to rehab @ 9:30 this morning with her dad
-Went to a couple different rehab locations
-Spent HOURS in the waiting room for a fuckin 15 min evaluation she needed. Not that I'm complaining... every moment I spend with her is prescious.
-Had sex in the women's bathroom at the admissions office of the rehab center. That was a first. Now I actually have an answer for those surveys when they say: "Weirdest place you've ever had sex" LOL
-Said goodbye to Caity... hugging her and never wanting to let her go, her kissing my neck and then kissing me and us saying I love you to each other... yeah if the convo last nite was too vague... her dad DEFINITELY knows about us now! LOL
-Talked to Caity tonite and she told me there were alot of shadow people at the house and that it was haunted. Not good. :( While she was on the phone with me she moved a piece of paper that was on the table and underneath, carved into the table, was the word FAITH. She flipped and thought it was a huge big bad sign but I assured her it was a huge GOOD sign. As much as that word is connected to someone she hates, it's a concept I really believe in and we need to have faith during all of this.
-Right now I'm sitting here in her fave PJ's, bout to hop in bed with Sick Bear (her teddy bear she always used to sleep with before she had me to sleep with) and her woobies (baby blankets) that smell like her. I haven't even cried today. I dunno how that's possible, but I know we'll be okay.
-been talking to Faith which is nothing but a good thing
-had a huge long convo w/ Danielle and we're really good now
-told Caity I read her journal
-had the 2 most stressful, hectic, Emo days of my life:
-Caity went to rehab (INPATIENT)yesterday
-Caity got sent to the ER (never ever ever been so scared and worried in my life!)
-Had lunch with Caity's parents and some bonding time on the way home. Went back to Caity's house and had one of the biggest breakdowns ever. Insane panic attacks and tonz of crying and praying harder than I EVER had in my life. All the while having no idea what was going on with Caity and having her blade stare me down. Got through it though.
-Went with Caity's dad to pick her up from the ER last nite had quite the long convo with him on the 2 hr ride to New London and in not so many words vaguely assured him that we were together and that I love her more than anything.
-Woke up and left to take Caity back to rehab @ 9:30 this morning with her dad
-Went to a couple different rehab locations
-Spent HOURS in the waiting room for a fuckin 15 min evaluation she needed. Not that I'm complaining... every moment I spend with her is prescious.
-Had sex in the women's bathroom at the admissions office of the rehab center. That was a first. Now I actually have an answer for those surveys when they say: "Weirdest place you've ever had sex" LOL
-Said goodbye to Caity... hugging her and never wanting to let her go, her kissing my neck and then kissing me and us saying I love you to each other... yeah if the convo last nite was too vague... her dad DEFINITELY knows about us now! LOL
-Talked to Caity tonite and she told me there were alot of shadow people at the house and that it was haunted. Not good. :( While she was on the phone with me she moved a piece of paper that was on the table and underneath, carved into the table, was the word FAITH. She flipped and thought it was a huge big bad sign but I assured her it was a huge GOOD sign. As much as that word is connected to someone she hates, it's a concept I really believe in and we need to have faith during all of this.
-Right now I'm sitting here in her fave PJ's, bout to hop in bed with Sick Bear (her teddy bear she always used to sleep with before she had me to sleep with) and her woobies (baby blankets) that smell like her. I haven't even cried today. I dunno how that's possible, but I know we'll be okay.