I feel a lot better.
It is officially No Longer Holiday Season. It's after dark, the (Jewish)day after Simchat Torah. We are in a holiday break until Hannukah. I do have two weeks in October and two weeks in November when I gave myself obligations at shul (reading a Torah portion plus doing at least one other leader-type volunteering), and also probably December but I don't recall that offhand. All the things have been done. Benito and I now get to enjoy a whole WEEK of "regular" programming. That'll be nice!
I did end up doing the prayer for rain during the musaf amidah - basically, I ran Zoom while the rabbi led the morning services (shacharit), and also just drilled myself through the prayer about... maybe 6 times? I'd been able to listen to the recording my sister made about 3 times - woefully not enough for a thorough job of learning it, but I'd made some notations in the book that help me with intervals and where the melody goes up or down, so that was helpful. The main part was getting the Hebrew, and I did really well at that. I think that during the leading, I made 1-2 Hebrew mistakes, but I was kind-of in a zone of being present, so I didn't let myself dwell and also kind of didn't let myself keep what I just did in my head? When I finished it, I moved on, and did the rest of the service. No-one comments back to a leader after services "hey, you know you said an "ah" when you should've said "oh?" " (Maybe they would to the rabbi, if it was done consistently enough, or if you're my dad and can't stand someone mangling the language.)
To keep in a festive mood, I sang the ending song that can be sung to anything in 4/4 time signature (Adon Olam) to the tune of "Rock Around the Clock," which I recalled the rabbi's husband doing back in the summer sometime. Today, I led shacharit and the rabbi led musaf (and there were only other 2 adults in the building and maybe 8-10 on Zoom), and she asked me to lead another fun melody for Adon Olam. I thought to myself "okay, 5 minutes to figure it out, what's a happy tune that feels good, that people will recognize and maybe even sing? Oh! Feelin' Groovy! That's the right time period for this crowd." It worked out well, actually. I was pleased.
Other things that have worked out: today I made banana muffins using a recipe card I was given. It called for wheat germ, toasted, to which I said "too much work; can I sub in ground flax instead? Internet says yes!" Of course, my impression of this banana muffin (to which I added peanut butter chips and excellent dark chocolate chips) is "too much flax," so maybe next time scrap that and the wheat germ and add 1/4 c whole wheat flour instead of 1/2 toasted wheat germ? Or I could just move on to a different recipe, that would work as well.
I got Benito to do some of his martial arts worksheet without a major melt-down on his part. He saved his melt-down for a frustration with his Wii U came, that garnered him a 10 minute pause on playing. I calmly read next to him on the couch, with a pile of his books next to him, so he did spent about 5 minutes reading to himself, which he previously identified as being helpful to him when he's upset. I let him go back to playing, and he was fine. I also made sure he had a bit more snack.
I've made some good food - lasagna for the nearly-traditional Felgar Sukkah dinner (Felgar family being my closest shul-friends), a roasted chicken in the Instant Pot (super delicious but need to give myself the right amt of prep time so dinner is served before 7 PM next time), a butternut squash soup that I loved, and Benito loved it once I added coconut milk. Button mushrooms sauteed with garlic and scallions, and sauteed spinach (from my garden) also sauteed with garlic. I have leftover chicken broth/drippings, as well as some schmaltz I skimmed off the top of that as it cooled. I am 100% not sure what to do with those, but they should be used soon because they're too good to leave in the fridge to go bad! I could make zucchini fritters (garden gave me 2 new zucchini last week!) in the chicken fat, serve then as a side for the remaining chicken plus ... rice and soup?
I think I was too overwhelmed to learn on Monday night, but Tuesday morning I was done with the immobility. I'm so glad I'm feeling better now. Honestly, it could've been hormones/PMS dragging me down, it could've been the combination of all life's frustrations and expectations and all that, but regarless, I am so glad to be over it.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/752053.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
I did end up doing the prayer for rain during the musaf amidah - basically, I ran Zoom while the rabbi led the morning services (shacharit), and also just drilled myself through the prayer about... maybe 6 times? I'd been able to listen to the recording my sister made about 3 times - woefully not enough for a thorough job of learning it, but I'd made some notations in the book that help me with intervals and where the melody goes up or down, so that was helpful. The main part was getting the Hebrew, and I did really well at that. I think that during the leading, I made 1-2 Hebrew mistakes, but I was kind-of in a zone of being present, so I didn't let myself dwell and also kind of didn't let myself keep what I just did in my head? When I finished it, I moved on, and did the rest of the service. No-one comments back to a leader after services "hey, you know you said an "ah" when you should've said "oh?" " (Maybe they would to the rabbi, if it was done consistently enough, or if you're my dad and can't stand someone mangling the language.)
To keep in a festive mood, I sang the ending song that can be sung to anything in 4/4 time signature (Adon Olam) to the tune of "Rock Around the Clock," which I recalled the rabbi's husband doing back in the summer sometime. Today, I led shacharit and the rabbi led musaf (and there were only other 2 adults in the building and maybe 8-10 on Zoom), and she asked me to lead another fun melody for Adon Olam. I thought to myself "okay, 5 minutes to figure it out, what's a happy tune that feels good, that people will recognize and maybe even sing? Oh! Feelin' Groovy! That's the right time period for this crowd." It worked out well, actually. I was pleased.
Other things that have worked out: today I made banana muffins using a recipe card I was given. It called for wheat germ, toasted, to which I said "too much work; can I sub in ground flax instead? Internet says yes!" Of course, my impression of this banana muffin (to which I added peanut butter chips and excellent dark chocolate chips) is "too much flax," so maybe next time scrap that and the wheat germ and add 1/4 c whole wheat flour instead of 1/2 toasted wheat germ? Or I could just move on to a different recipe, that would work as well.
I got Benito to do some of his martial arts worksheet without a major melt-down on his part. He saved his melt-down for a frustration with his Wii U came, that garnered him a 10 minute pause on playing. I calmly read next to him on the couch, with a pile of his books next to him, so he did spent about 5 minutes reading to himself, which he previously identified as being helpful to him when he's upset. I let him go back to playing, and he was fine. I also made sure he had a bit more snack.
I've made some good food - lasagna for the nearly-traditional Felgar Sukkah dinner (Felgar family being my closest shul-friends), a roasted chicken in the Instant Pot (super delicious but need to give myself the right amt of prep time so dinner is served before 7 PM next time), a butternut squash soup that I loved, and Benito loved it once I added coconut milk. Button mushrooms sauteed with garlic and scallions, and sauteed spinach (from my garden) also sauteed with garlic. I have leftover chicken broth/drippings, as well as some schmaltz I skimmed off the top of that as it cooled. I am 100% not sure what to do with those, but they should be used soon because they're too good to leave in the fridge to go bad! I could make zucchini fritters (garden gave me 2 new zucchini last week!) in the chicken fat, serve then as a side for the remaining chicken plus ... rice and soup?
I think I was too overwhelmed to learn on Monday night, but Tuesday morning I was done with the immobility. I'm so glad I'm feeling better now. Honestly, it could've been hormones/PMS dragging me down, it could've been the combination of all life's frustrations and expectations and all that, but regarless, I am so glad to be over it.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/752053.html. Please comment there using OpenID.