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I am so sick of feeling bad. I am so sick of loving a man who betrayed me. I am so sick of wondering if he means what he says. I am so sick of knowing I am second best. I am so sick of only being spoken to with emotion when talked to sexually. I am so sick of feeling used afterwards. I am so sick of wishing he would want me. I am so sick of seeing that he does and that he hasn't done anything about it. I am so sick of crying because I've done this all before and it kills. I am so sick of rememebering that our relationship was perfect and wondering why it got messed up. I am so sick of wondering why he picked her over me. I am SO tired of being weak and talking to him and giving in and caring so badly and feeling awful. I am disheartened at thinking it might not change.