The Manic Pixie Dream Friend
ETA: After I posted this, I realized that "manic" has bad implications in reference to actual mental health issues. Please note that I am ONLY referring to the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope, and not implying anyone is "manic." I hope that makes sense.
Hey, bitches! Why are you guys awake so early? Yeah Megan, I know it's three in the afternoon.Jesus, you're a drag. Who wants wine? I need wine.
That is the Manic Pixie Dream Friend in a nutshell. She's the friend who says what no other friend could get away with, she ranges from amusing and/or annoying to very worrisome depending on how dark the storyline goes, and you know while she'd never tell those fuckers for friends she loves them, she loves them. Hard. There's often a deep sexuality to her character, and you may even ship her and her otherwise platonic friend(s) even if she's not said to be interested in the same sex.
She's Faith Lehane. She's Caitlin Somers. She's Bee Vreeland. She's Michelle Mallon. She's Rebecca Bunch. She's Vivi Walker. (Who's also a Manic Pixie Dream Mama.) She's complicated, and that's putting it mildly. Sometimes the friendship seems one-sided, but just when she's at her worst, she comes full circle and does something only a true bestie would do. She's mean, but sweet. She's apathetic, but inspired. She's stoic, but quick to anger. She has a sense of humor, but finds other people's humor dull. She craves love, but shies away from it. She'd never betray anyone, except when she does. She's ready to take on the world, she's terrified of it.
As they say on TV Tropes, tropes are not bad. I actually like this trope if it's done right.. Especially as it can be very relatable. The truth is, we've all had this friend in real life on one level or another. Maybe we still do, maybe we've even been that friend. . Whatever the case may be, we know the type, which is why I think it's such an appealing trope.
When we're young, I think these friends allow us to safely experience a wider world without necessarily being all-consumed in it. I think in moderation, having a wild child friend is actually good; it allows young people to consider things they may not have otherwise, and maybe to help reign in their wild child friend a little.
It can also help us establish a better sense of empathy, because as the trope often tells it, MPDF generally didn't come packaged that way. In much lighter examples it really isn't much more than someone being out of control - Michelle from Derry Girls, for instance, really seems to just like trouble, and so far at least there's no indication that she has a particular dark storyline or that we're going to be taken anywhere else. Other times, however, something darker is going on. Rebecca Bunch is one of the darkest examples. Her friends slowly realize that her antics stem from something dark and help build her back up when she hits rock bottom. In a classic episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy switches bodies with Faith and realizes how Faith is treated versus how she's treated, not to mention the terrible revelation when Faith starts screaming and punching Buffy - still in Faith's body.
There are negative aspects of the Manic Pixie Dream Friend trope, however, and that's why I gave it this name. Often characters are able to handle the fun, but don't really know how to handle the darkness, or don't fully recognize it for what it is. Judy Blume's Summer Sisters is a great example of this, as it becomes clear that Caitlin Somers is deeply troubled; however, the characters around her don't really understand just how much she's crying for help until it's too late. They know there's a possible darker underbelly, but mostly they just think she's spontaneous and bit selfish. What Caitlin really needs is what she's constantly running away from.
Several meta pieces have pointed out that even early on in season three of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, no one actually reaches out to Faith, the other slayer. They know she's living in a crappy motel, but they don't offer her a better place to stay. When she comes close to her rock bottom they do try, but still no adults try reaching out to her - except for Wesley, who gets her abducted by the Watchers' Council.
Of course there is no need to accept toxicity - sometimes, people do go too far, and once Faith joins up with the season's Big Bad, she's crossed that line. And you do see characters go the other way, where they either try to help the friend without really understanding what she needs, maybe because they've become wrapped up in the drama themselves. This is certainly true for Rebecca and Paula of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend; Paula finally realizes that becoming wrapped up in Rebecca's schemes is deeply unhealthy, and she's using Rebecca for her own fantasy fulfilment. Even then, though, they become co-dependent as Rebecca uses Paula, and Paula just... accepts it. Fortunately they reach a point where they realize their friendship can't continue like that, and they rebuild themselves into a healthier, more even-keeled pair of besties.
There is another real life parallel here, too. In my case, it was realizing I couldn't help certain friends, and that I was being taken for granted or taken advantage of. There was no rectifying it after a certain number of "second" chances.. At that point, you really can't do much. But sometimes it isn't toxic; rather, sometimes cries for help are simply ignored, and at worst, someone going through stuff is the one being taken advantage of. Unfortunately, people can turn on their friends in those moments, missing the fun and unable to handle the serious.
Either way, it's not uncommon for honesty to be bold and spontaneity to be appealing until you're looking at the other side of it, and have a choice to make. Sometimes it's as simple as opting out of a rave and learning that boundaries are okay; other times, more work is required - as many characters reveal through their stories.
Hey, bitches! Why are you guys awake so early? Yeah Megan, I know it's three in the afternoon.Jesus, you're a drag. Who wants wine? I need wine.
That is the Manic Pixie Dream Friend in a nutshell. She's the friend who says what no other friend could get away with, she ranges from amusing and/or annoying to very worrisome depending on how dark the storyline goes, and you know while she'd never tell those fuckers for friends she loves them, she loves them. Hard. There's often a deep sexuality to her character, and you may even ship her and her otherwise platonic friend(s) even if she's not said to be interested in the same sex.
She's Faith Lehane. She's Caitlin Somers. She's Bee Vreeland. She's Michelle Mallon. She's Rebecca Bunch. She's Vivi Walker. (Who's also a Manic Pixie Dream Mama.) She's complicated, and that's putting it mildly. Sometimes the friendship seems one-sided, but just when she's at her worst, she comes full circle and does something only a true bestie would do. She's mean, but sweet. She's apathetic, but inspired. She's stoic, but quick to anger. She has a sense of humor, but finds other people's humor dull. She craves love, but shies away from it. She'd never betray anyone, except when she does. She's ready to take on the world, she's terrified of it.
As they say on TV Tropes, tropes are not bad. I actually like this trope if it's done right.. Especially as it can be very relatable. The truth is, we've all had this friend in real life on one level or another. Maybe we still do, maybe we've even been that friend. . Whatever the case may be, we know the type, which is why I think it's such an appealing trope.
When we're young, I think these friends allow us to safely experience a wider world without necessarily being all-consumed in it. I think in moderation, having a wild child friend is actually good; it allows young people to consider things they may not have otherwise, and maybe to help reign in their wild child friend a little.
It can also help us establish a better sense of empathy, because as the trope often tells it, MPDF generally didn't come packaged that way. In much lighter examples it really isn't much more than someone being out of control - Michelle from Derry Girls, for instance, really seems to just like trouble, and so far at least there's no indication that she has a particular dark storyline or that we're going to be taken anywhere else. Other times, however, something darker is going on. Rebecca Bunch is one of the darkest examples. Her friends slowly realize that her antics stem from something dark and help build her back up when she hits rock bottom. In a classic episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy switches bodies with Faith and realizes how Faith is treated versus how she's treated, not to mention the terrible revelation when Faith starts screaming and punching Buffy - still in Faith's body.
There are negative aspects of the Manic Pixie Dream Friend trope, however, and that's why I gave it this name. Often characters are able to handle the fun, but don't really know how to handle the darkness, or don't fully recognize it for what it is. Judy Blume's Summer Sisters is a great example of this, as it becomes clear that Caitlin Somers is deeply troubled; however, the characters around her don't really understand just how much she's crying for help until it's too late. They know there's a possible darker underbelly, but mostly they just think she's spontaneous and bit selfish. What Caitlin really needs is what she's constantly running away from.
Several meta pieces have pointed out that even early on in season three of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, no one actually reaches out to Faith, the other slayer. They know she's living in a crappy motel, but they don't offer her a better place to stay. When she comes close to her rock bottom they do try, but still no adults try reaching out to her - except for Wesley, who gets her abducted by the Watchers' Council.
Of course there is no need to accept toxicity - sometimes, people do go too far, and once Faith joins up with the season's Big Bad, she's crossed that line. And you do see characters go the other way, where they either try to help the friend without really understanding what she needs, maybe because they've become wrapped up in the drama themselves. This is certainly true for Rebecca and Paula of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend; Paula finally realizes that becoming wrapped up in Rebecca's schemes is deeply unhealthy, and she's using Rebecca for her own fantasy fulfilment. Even then, though, they become co-dependent as Rebecca uses Paula, and Paula just... accepts it. Fortunately they reach a point where they realize their friendship can't continue like that, and they rebuild themselves into a healthier, more even-keeled pair of besties.
There is another real life parallel here, too. In my case, it was realizing I couldn't help certain friends, and that I was being taken for granted or taken advantage of. There was no rectifying it after a certain number of "second" chances.. At that point, you really can't do much. But sometimes it isn't toxic; rather, sometimes cries for help are simply ignored, and at worst, someone going through stuff is the one being taken advantage of. Unfortunately, people can turn on their friends in those moments, missing the fun and unable to handle the serious.
Either way, it's not uncommon for honesty to be bold and spontaneity to be appealing until you're looking at the other side of it, and have a choice to make. Sometimes it's as simple as opting out of a rave and learning that boundaries are okay; other times, more work is required - as many characters reveal through their stories.