a week of dreams
so, this first dream happened a few days ago. i know it's based on the convo's schmitty and i had over the weekend, and my fears for the future. that said, in the dream i've gone back to china, and i'm just doing my thing in beijing, and things between schmitty and i are deteriorating. it's not helped by the fact that i'm still hanging out with jim and rene. and then, i don't remember the exact circumstances, but it seems rather suddenly jim is seducing me and saying how he needed the time to realize what he wanted. and i'm reasonably turned about, and i'm trying to find a ticket home to america, but also really glad that someone has decided they want to be with me, and just don't know what to do at all.
i do not expect this to be prophetic, but it has brought to light my concerns that schmitty will pull a jim (a la: we have a great relationship with no real troubles, but he's still going to end it just because he doesn't want to commit to me). i think rene was thrown in there just because he's that nebulous relationship that happened somewhere in between. he is the "unknown", and i've got a whole bunch of unknown coming up.
the next dream was last night. i dreamt that schmitty, jenna, rett and i went on a vacation to hawaii. or something like hawaii. except there were lots of russian speakers, and for some reason rett spoke russian, and negotiated all the black market stuff we needed to know to get the best place to stay and what not. we had some trouble negotiating around the island, and for some reason we had to leave in a really big rush, and almost got caught at the airport, but again rett was able to ruso-speak our way out right in the nick of time. so we all pile into a car and drive and drive as fast as we can. suddenly we're driving slower, and then we're seeing pine trees, sand, sea pebbles and streams. we get out of the car and walk down the road, following the stream and i realize that we're at southwicks beach (note: the version of southwicks that always happens in my mind. i don't know what it really looks like, but it often shows up in my dreams). we feel so much more comfortable and alone. we go out to the lake, which is having very large swells, and we stand at the rock break letting the waves splash around our shins while the sun sets. there's a huge abandoned white lake house that we go into, and decide we can stay there (hide out there?) then we realize that people have been flushing into the lake, and still are, and we know we're not alone. about the moment we realize that, this crazy girl comes rushing into the kitchen shouting about eggs, and how we have to cook the eggs just right and squeeze them out on her.
yeah. it got pretty weird and i decided i'd rather wake up by that time.
i'm just weird.