glad to be working
glad to be slowly adding money back to the bank account. at least i'll make rent and the bare minimum on the credit cards.
le sigh
my rockville class is ridiculous. i've had to put my foot down a couple of times, which i've never had to do. it was strange drawing that part of myself up, but it's made the class more focused, which we need. hopefully the kids still like me enough to engage.
it feels like i'm in chantilly every other day this week. i'm glad tpr pays for miles.
in other news, i'm suddenly feeling lots of anxiety over what's going to happen over the next 12 months. like, i know everything will be ok till june, but come june, shit may hit the fan in a very hardcore way. schmitty and i retook our okcupid profiles today, and in doing so, we told each other our answers to the questions. the one that concerned me the most was his opinion on work or love. if faced with the choice of a dream job or love, he took the job. which, i guess, didn't surprise me. i just find myself worrying more and more that i'll be the one making all the sacrifices for the relationship, and might still find myself high and dry for it.
a gesture on his part would be nice these days.
but for the most part it's no big, and i'm sure i'll wake up tomorrow not caring.
also, i had WIERD ASS dreams last night about zombie-vampires. like 28 weeks later meets i am legend. we tried to hide, but in the end i watched all the people i love captured by, and turned into, horrible monsters, and i couldn't do anything to stop it. i woke up a few times, and always went back to sleep. by the end of the dream, i was the only non-zombie, and zombie folk were telling me to give in, that it was just the next step in the evolution of man, and it was for the best. but i didn't buy it, because i'd lost everyone in the evolution.
writing it out like that, it makes it easier to see where the anxieties might be stemming from.
bed now.
le sigh
my rockville class is ridiculous. i've had to put my foot down a couple of times, which i've never had to do. it was strange drawing that part of myself up, but it's made the class more focused, which we need. hopefully the kids still like me enough to engage.
it feels like i'm in chantilly every other day this week. i'm glad tpr pays for miles.
in other news, i'm suddenly feeling lots of anxiety over what's going to happen over the next 12 months. like, i know everything will be ok till june, but come june, shit may hit the fan in a very hardcore way. schmitty and i retook our okcupid profiles today, and in doing so, we told each other our answers to the questions. the one that concerned me the most was his opinion on work or love. if faced with the choice of a dream job or love, he took the job. which, i guess, didn't surprise me. i just find myself worrying more and more that i'll be the one making all the sacrifices for the relationship, and might still find myself high and dry for it.
a gesture on his part would be nice these days.
but for the most part it's no big, and i'm sure i'll wake up tomorrow not caring.
also, i had WIERD ASS dreams last night about zombie-vampires. like 28 weeks later meets i am legend. we tried to hide, but in the end i watched all the people i love captured by, and turned into, horrible monsters, and i couldn't do anything to stop it. i woke up a few times, and always went back to sleep. by the end of the dream, i was the only non-zombie, and zombie folk were telling me to give in, that it was just the next step in the evolution of man, and it was for the best. but i didn't buy it, because i'd lost everyone in the evolution.
writing it out like that, it makes it easier to see where the anxieties might be stemming from.
bed now.