as I tell Jarrett I only pray that schmitty doesn't pull a jim, b/c if he does you're recovery will be null and void. I have faith in his love for you, and yes he has commitment issues, but in the end you have a few too. It will take a lot longer then you think, then we all think and it's not fair and it sucks and in certain instances you HAVE to push him into it, b/c he won't push himself, but when it's all said and done, he'll be there. He always wanted to and I'm sure he always will want to, but going from being completely single for 1/4 of his life to in a serious relationship must be a hard transition for him. Start small. You're in the house, maybe start decorating there, putting your touch into it. Then slowly move more of your things in or convince him to get rid of some of his and buy furniture for both of you. Convince him to see his 'rents or fake 'rents more often with you, become involved there as well. Then slowly move in, I mean would he ever really know if you just gave up your place! probably not lol
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i actually already do that. i decorated the living room with all my christmas stuff, and i've got an idea for two or three art projects for his room that he's approved. plus, we haven't spent a night at my place in almost two months. i would just sublet my place, but i'd have to be honest with him about it, and i couldn't just drop rent because what would i do with all my stuff? i'm just glad i'm not the only one who thought it was possible. plus, i'm not going to make him decide before i leave. he'll have time to be sure it's what he wants, and not be forced into something. plus, why risk losing two months before i go?
I really think the cure for this is a visit south, in like middle of march. :-)
I disagree with the slowly putting your own touch on his place thing. I don't really know schmitty well so maybe I'm wrong, but is there a chance he's not getting as serious b/c you are going to china? I mean do you think part of him is holding back out of his own fear that things will just end or get really difficult and he'd rather keep you at a distance to minimize the angst when you go? I mean it's obvious he cares about you deeply, and I don't think he could care for anyone else even if he wanted to, so I wonder if he's just struggling with everything. I dunno.
i dunno. a couple months ago we were talking, and there was something along the lines of "well, i guess the trip to china will be our big If We Survive This We'll Survive Anything, right?" which means i think he is a little worried, too. and i guess that's less a "does she want to be with me" thing than it is a "can we make it" thing. which might explain why all my telling him i want to be with him doesn't seem to change anything. i think we're both just really scared for what going to china will do. i suppose my "i won't come back" thing didn't make anything better, but i really felt like i needed to say it.
i dunno. he's out of town for the next 4 days on a ski trip. maybe some space will make it easier (altho i was NOT feeling ok with the complete lack of sex, hugs or kisses goodbye before he left. yes, he's got a cold, that explains the sex, but not the kisses)
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plus, we haven't spent a night at my place in almost two months. i would just sublet my place, but i'd have to be honest with him about it, and i couldn't just drop rent because what would i do with all my stuff?
i'm just glad i'm not the only one who thought it was possible.
plus, i'm not going to make him decide before i leave. he'll have time to be sure it's what he wants, and not be forced into something.
plus, why risk losing two months before i go?
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I disagree with the slowly putting your own touch on his place thing. I don't really know schmitty well so maybe I'm wrong, but is there a chance he's not getting as serious b/c you are going to china? I mean do you think part of him is holding back out of his own fear that things will just end or get really difficult and he'd rather keep you at a distance to minimize the angst when you go? I mean it's obvious he cares about you deeply, and I don't think he could care for anyone else even if he wanted to, so I wonder if he's just struggling with everything. I dunno.
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which means i think he is a little worried, too. and i guess that's less a "does she want to be with me" thing than it is a "can we make it" thing. which might explain why all my telling him i want to be with him doesn't seem to change anything.
i think we're both just really scared for what going to china will do. i suppose my "i won't come back" thing didn't make anything better, but i really felt like i needed to say it.
i dunno. he's out of town for the next 4 days on a ski trip. maybe some space will make it easier (altho i was NOT feeling ok with the complete lack of sex, hugs or kisses goodbye before he left. yes, he's got a cold, that explains the sex, but not the kisses)
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