in which i formally disagree with ya'll
well, what i wound up doing was taking the job i interviewed for this morning.
it's 140rmb/hour, 10 hours a week. which comes to 5600rmb/month. that's 1400less than the other job, but i spend only 1/3 of the time on the job.
trouble was, i had to quit my other monday/wednesday job to do it. i'm going in tomorrow to tell them. i feel like an ass, but i have to take care of myself, right?
add in my lessons with julia, mr.gao, wangxia and probably stone, and i'm earning about 2250rmb/week. that brings me to 9000rmb/month. assuming i spend 2500rmb/month, i'll still bring in 6500 for 3 months. that will give me $2000 for debt payment, and $500 for traveling.
that will leave me $1000 in debt, more or less.
hoping i'll bring in a bit more, and save a bit more, but one does have to take into account my visa woes and the like.
and, now: where i disagree with you all.
the common concensus seems to be that i'll come home and have to get an 8-5 job. and i'm wondering this - why? waitressing, bartending (common actress jobs) are rarely 9-5 jobs. i'll definitely need a flexible job that allows me to go to auditions and rehearsal. i could work phone fund raising, nanny, tutor (that pays hella well), all sorts of jobs that do not involve me having to be stuck in a miserable office all day every day. hell, if i'm super lucky i'll get a job working for a theatre.
if i got a well paying job in pr, advertising or working for a magazine i think i'd be able to handle 9-5. maybe i'll find a job working in politics. maybe i'll find a job where i need to be able to work strictly in the evening. someone has to work evenings, it might as well be me.
i simply don't understand why all you guys seem dead set and determined that i need to Settle Down, Join Reality, Get Real, Get Serious, etc, etc. why does my life need to be defined by 9-5's in offices where my soul is leeched from my body? why doesn't there seem to be any faith that aubri will be able to find a lifestyle that matches her body cycle, or that aubri will find a job that she enjoys and wants to do, or that aubri will in fact never have to settle down and join reality?
i believe in myself, why don't you guys?
or, maybe more importantly - why are you so determined that THAT become my life?
this has been bothering me for a pretty long time. one thing i no longer bother to do in my lj is express even the briefest lack of faith in my future. every time i do, you guys just say "well, maybe you should grow up and learn to be miserable" (keeping in mind that growing up and getting a normal job and a house and bills and mortgages IS MISERY for me). i don't dare express my insecurity here because it seems like all that ever happens is someone says "yeah, well, you are a loser and life is crap and you will be miserable so just get used to it now"
whatever happened to people saying "work hard, follow your dreams, stay true to yourself and above all stay happy"? the only people i ever seem to hear that from anymore are daddy and schmitty and clare. and frankly, if my father supports me being a crazy hippy with no clear goal but a firm belief i'll be ok and successful, then i am REALLY surprised when my friends don't.
i don't want my friends to lie to me, but i would really appreciate it if i was allowed to have an off-the-beaten-path life without everyone i love and respect telling me i'm a fool and living in a fantasy that will never come true. and i would like it if when you see i'm just being slightly depressed and wanting to just destroy myself you WOULDN'T encourage the demons within. i know most of you think it's true that i'll have to give in to 9-5, but just keep in mind that if that happens i'll be so miserable i'll want to die. i'd rather be alive and poor than rich and miserable.
< / rant >
ok. missed the gym. got all caught up writing this. maybe i'll catch up on sleep instead.
it's 140rmb/hour, 10 hours a week. which comes to 5600rmb/month. that's 1400less than the other job, but i spend only 1/3 of the time on the job.
trouble was, i had to quit my other monday/wednesday job to do it. i'm going in tomorrow to tell them. i feel like an ass, but i have to take care of myself, right?
add in my lessons with julia, mr.gao, wangxia and probably stone, and i'm earning about 2250rmb/week. that brings me to 9000rmb/month. assuming i spend 2500rmb/month, i'll still bring in 6500 for 3 months. that will give me $2000 for debt payment, and $500 for traveling.
that will leave me $1000 in debt, more or less.
hoping i'll bring in a bit more, and save a bit more, but one does have to take into account my visa woes and the like.
and, now: where i disagree with you all.
the common concensus seems to be that i'll come home and have to get an 8-5 job. and i'm wondering this - why? waitressing, bartending (common actress jobs) are rarely 9-5 jobs. i'll definitely need a flexible job that allows me to go to auditions and rehearsal. i could work phone fund raising, nanny, tutor (that pays hella well), all sorts of jobs that do not involve me having to be stuck in a miserable office all day every day. hell, if i'm super lucky i'll get a job working for a theatre.
if i got a well paying job in pr, advertising or working for a magazine i think i'd be able to handle 9-5. maybe i'll find a job working in politics. maybe i'll find a job where i need to be able to work strictly in the evening. someone has to work evenings, it might as well be me.
i simply don't understand why all you guys seem dead set and determined that i need to Settle Down, Join Reality, Get Real, Get Serious, etc, etc. why does my life need to be defined by 9-5's in offices where my soul is leeched from my body? why doesn't there seem to be any faith that aubri will be able to find a lifestyle that matches her body cycle, or that aubri will find a job that she enjoys and wants to do, or that aubri will in fact never have to settle down and join reality?
i believe in myself, why don't you guys?
or, maybe more importantly - why are you so determined that THAT become my life?
this has been bothering me for a pretty long time. one thing i no longer bother to do in my lj is express even the briefest lack of faith in my future. every time i do, you guys just say "well, maybe you should grow up and learn to be miserable" (keeping in mind that growing up and getting a normal job and a house and bills and mortgages IS MISERY for me). i don't dare express my insecurity here because it seems like all that ever happens is someone says "yeah, well, you are a loser and life is crap and you will be miserable so just get used to it now"
whatever happened to people saying "work hard, follow your dreams, stay true to yourself and above all stay happy"? the only people i ever seem to hear that from anymore are daddy and schmitty and clare. and frankly, if my father supports me being a crazy hippy with no clear goal but a firm belief i'll be ok and successful, then i am REALLY surprised when my friends don't.
i don't want my friends to lie to me, but i would really appreciate it if i was allowed to have an off-the-beaten-path life without everyone i love and respect telling me i'm a fool and living in a fantasy that will never come true. and i would like it if when you see i'm just being slightly depressed and wanting to just destroy myself you WOULDN'T encourage the demons within. i know most of you think it's true that i'll have to give in to 9-5, but just keep in mind that if that happens i'll be so miserable i'll want to die. i'd rather be alive and poor than rich and miserable.
< / rant >
ok. missed the gym. got all caught up writing this. maybe i'll catch up on sleep instead.