"LJ CUT IS FOR PUSSIES" or "I NOW OWN THE REST OF YOUR FRIENDS PAGE, CHAUNCE!"
OK LIVEJOURNAL FRIENDS I AM UPDATING AGAIN BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL UP IN MY JOCK ALL WTF BRAD YOU NEVER UPDATE AND THERE IS A VOID IN MY LIFE THAT I HAVE HAD TO SUBSEQUENTLY FILL VIA MASTURBATION TO MARTHA STERWART'S 'LIVING' MAGAZINE
mmmmm very tiny tiny lemoncakes uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnngggghhhh ng!
well give your naughty bits a rest dear friends while you read about absolutly nothing important whatsoever.
it's a rather hodgepodge collection of magazines we get at my house. LIVING being one of them.
(and you thought there wasn't such a thing as gourmet Rice Krispies Treats. naysayer.) Others include MAXIM (that's a link, shitbrick. i took the time to make it, you take the time to check it. it's how we do.), Men's Health (gayest mag ever), Backpacker (for you people who do things outside. weirdos.), Utne Reader (hardest to say), Delia*s (best catalog ever. EVER.), Time (biggest waste of trees ever), Blender (best music mag ever), and other random monthlies, weeklies, bi-weeklies, and periodicals.
'periodicals'. what the hell is that all about anyway?
"so how often do you get this magazine?"
"oh, i don't know. periodically."
it has come to my attention, and this is possibly due to the 8 jillion catalogs we get in the mail as well, that i have been spending way too much money. On clothes in particuler, which are staggeringly expensive I have discovered. You should make note that i have not really bought clothes since, oh, 1996. And now that I have a real person job I figured it was time I do so. Really though, what lit my shopping fuse was that I was in a computer workshop the other day at work, I was intently pretending to pay attention. In doing so, I had an itch on my leg, which I was scratching for about a good 7 minutes with the back side of my pen before I realized I was really using the writey part, and had been drawing AAALLL over my pantleg. I got to walk around like this for the rest of the day much to the amusement of my co-workers. Lucky for me, my job is much like attending kindergarten with extremely expensive stereo equipment to play with in place of Legos, yet, not so lucky for my pants.
work is like this:
"AAAAHHH I AM SO HAPPY MY FACE IS COMPLETELY ERASING ITSELF!"
So what do i do? well, buy more pants obviously.
So while I am browsing around American Eagle I decide that i will buy a whole OUTFIT in fact because it just seems like it would make my life easier.
pantalons
shirt
belt
aaaaaaaaaand ass romping winter type shoes.
*note* shoes not to scale.
as you can see, i am adhering to my Connecticut shoreline roots per usual and buying preppy hipster clothes again. FYI the button down is called the Hipster Stripe Shirt. I AM SOLD!!! next stop was Nantucket Knotworks to buy a new Turk's Head Rope Bracelet made popular in Connecticut in the 80's by yours truly.
kekekeke AND I AM BUYING A VOLVO!
<-- yes those ARE windsheild wipers on the headlights!
now i just need some hot trophy wife to impregnate so I can take our kids to soccer. any takers?
oh yeah, and thanks to this bad boy right here:
i got the pen out of my pants so i didn't really need to go all buying whole new outfits at all really in the first place even. the end.
ok girls. continue fingerblasting to lemoncakes, now.
mmmmm very tiny tiny lemoncakes uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnngggghhhh ng!
well give your naughty bits a rest dear friends while you read about absolutly nothing important whatsoever.
it's a rather hodgepodge collection of magazines we get at my house. LIVING being one of them.
(and you thought there wasn't such a thing as gourmet Rice Krispies Treats. naysayer.) Others include MAXIM (that's a link, shitbrick. i took the time to make it, you take the time to check it. it's how we do.), Men's Health (gayest mag ever), Backpacker (for you people who do things outside. weirdos.), Utne Reader (hardest to say), Delia*s (best catalog ever. EVER.), Time (biggest waste of trees ever), Blender (best music mag ever), and other random monthlies, weeklies, bi-weeklies, and periodicals.
'periodicals'. what the hell is that all about anyway?
"so how often do you get this magazine?"
"oh, i don't know. periodically."
it has come to my attention, and this is possibly due to the 8 jillion catalogs we get in the mail as well, that i have been spending way too much money. On clothes in particuler, which are staggeringly expensive I have discovered. You should make note that i have not really bought clothes since, oh, 1996. And now that I have a real person job I figured it was time I do so. Really though, what lit my shopping fuse was that I was in a computer workshop the other day at work, I was intently pretending to pay attention. In doing so, I had an itch on my leg, which I was scratching for about a good 7 minutes with the back side of my pen before I realized I was really using the writey part, and had been drawing AAALLL over my pantleg. I got to walk around like this for the rest of the day much to the amusement of my co-workers. Lucky for me, my job is much like attending kindergarten with extremely expensive stereo equipment to play with in place of Legos, yet, not so lucky for my pants.
work is like this:
"AAAAHHH I AM SO HAPPY MY FACE IS COMPLETELY ERASING ITSELF!"
So what do i do? well, buy more pants obviously.
So while I am browsing around American Eagle I decide that i will buy a whole OUTFIT in fact because it just seems like it would make my life easier.
pantalons
shirt
belt
aaaaaaaaaand ass romping winter type shoes.
*note* shoes not to scale.
as you can see, i am adhering to my Connecticut shoreline roots per usual and buying preppy hipster clothes again. FYI the button down is called the Hipster Stripe Shirt. I AM SOLD!!! next stop was Nantucket Knotworks to buy a new Turk's Head Rope Bracelet made popular in Connecticut in the 80's by yours truly.
kekekeke AND I AM BUYING A VOLVO!
<-- yes those ARE windsheild wipers on the headlights!
now i just need some hot trophy wife to impregnate so I can take our kids to soccer. any takers?
oh yeah, and thanks to this bad boy right here:
i got the pen out of my pants so i didn't really need to go all buying whole new outfits at all really in the first place even. the end.
ok girls. continue fingerblasting to lemoncakes, now.