DOOM Pic Recap - Part 2
Warning:More disgusting stuff ahead and NOT dial-up friendly.
Sam: Uh... sure...
*Carmack tears his ear off* Sam: ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!111!!!eleventyone!!! Not literally!!
Reaper makes the cutest faces, doesn't he? *wibbles*
After everyone has been grossed out by Carmack's Van Gogh impression, everyone wanders down the dark hallways again.
Dark hallway #31743: Portman tells Pansyboy that his lipstick is a total turn on. Seriously, can this boy look even more NOT a boy Special Ops?
Anyways in an attempt to show that Kid is a "badass" he asks Potman for "some." To which, Potman provides drugs that look like lime-green Skittles. Gives a whole new meaning to "Taste the Rainbow."
Reaper and Goat search another dark room.
And Reaper is totally wishing he had some night vision goggles.
Apparently, so does Goat... because he literally just kicked the bucket.
Thunk...
...thunk...
A million thunks later... it rolls to a stop.
Aw, Gawd dammit! Argh!
Because I used God's name in vain I will proceed to...
...do some self-multilation.
Reaper: .......
Me: .......
Dumb and Dumber end up in the women's locker room...
...and finds a nekkid wh0re lady. In movies like this, Nekkid lady=EV0L!
See! EV0L!!!
Shits and Giggles stop drooling long enough to kill the monster lady and tell us they found "rest of the arm."
Back at somewhere where the lights are working, Duke has to carry One-Earred Carmack, and pees his pants when he sees a "Nanowall".
Sam knows that Duke is her bitch right now and orders him to go through the Nanowall to secure the infirmary.
Duke knowing that he's Sam's bitch, agrees and tries to reclaim his balls back.
This is Duke trying to reclaim his balls back.
I've seen this movie more times that I want to admit, and I still have no clue where this chick came from. And I don't really care and neither should you.
After getting Carmack on a bed, Carmack grabs Sam and does his best Bela Lugosi impression.
Sam and I are not impressed.
Back at the Genetics Lab all the animals have been splatterd on the wall... *twitch* And Reaper and Goat find...
...this guy. *twitch twitch*
Reaper is not impressed with the guys bad table manners.
The guy continues to gross Reaper and me out by slurping his Mouse à la carte. *twitch squirm twitch*
OMGWTF?!!111!mylittlephony!!!11!! GROSS!!!11oneone!!!
Mouse man takes this chance to attack our boys...
...of course, he loses. *points and laughs at him*
Dark hallway #I've lost count: Destroyer and Sarge hear something in the vents.
And what do the Muscle Beach twins do? Stick their heads up in the vent.
One thing I learned from watching a lot of B-movies, is that, it is ALWAYS a bad idea!
See! BAD IDEA!
Luckily, Destroyer's got supa-falling reflexes and blasts "it" away while falling on his ass.
Sarge: WTF was it?
Destroyer: It was Marcel the Monkey!
Sarge: ........
Why do people in movies feel the need to touch blood that is contaminated with stuff? *twitch*
Back in the infirmary, more blood with chocolate chip in it... *vomits*
Sam: What's happening to Carmack?
Random lady: How the hell would I know? I'm just here to try and build sympathy in the audience.
Audience: Just DIE already!
Back in Dark city, Reaper chases "something big" down into the stinky sewers.
*happy sigh* Only Reaper can wade in waste and still look this HAWT. RAR!
Pottymouth realizes that he's so dirty that taking a bath in sewer water might actually improve his appearance.
Obviously, not...
However, Reaper manages to look even sexier when he's wet. Yes, I am ignoring the fact that they are in the sewers. Lalalalala
Gratuitous Hot Reaper Pic #203. The blue light makes Reaper even prettier! Guh!
Everyone splits off to different directions to look for the "thing," and Reaper is stuck with Pansyboy who can't seem to STFU about how his parents ditched him when he was a kid!
Reaper, like me, is annoyed and finally pins him against the wall and tells him to STFU!!!
As Reaper STFUs Pantswetter, he notices Kid is a druggie, and he gets even more pissed. I spontaneously combust from all that Reaper testostrone.
Meanwhile, Goat's ONLY flashlight dies on him, how cliché. So he think he sees something.
Goat: Doctor Willits?
I guess not! AHHHHHHH!
The monster then gives Goat and NASTY hickey with it's equal vomit inducing tongue. I will spare you all that picture, because I don't want to see it again.
Reaper being the awesome that he is comes in time to blow a lot of holes in the monster and kills him...it...whatever.
Team We're So Fucked runs back through the main hall and order an immediate evacuation. All the while freaking out all the nerds by dragging Goat's bloody body around.
So they all get to the infirmary and try to revive Goat, everyone angsts. Just hearing Reaper say the words "clear" before defibbing, jump starts my fangirly heart.
Alas, Goat isn't a fangirl and remains dead. *sigh*
Now Sarge F33R My Scary Eyes is beyond pissed and asks Sam WTF are they doing up here?!! RAWR!
Sam says something about being archeologist and harmless research or did she just say "What?!" Anyways, I'm too busy staring at Reaper ass angsting in the background. *las*
Sarge: This is "WHAT?" Is it just me or does that look like someone's Thanksgiving dinner gone very, very wrong?
Sam: OMGWTFBBQ!! What is that?!!
Audience: It's the monster, DUH!
Reaper finally finishes angsting and informs us that that wasn't the thing he and Goat saw.
Portman starts to freak out. Sarge tells him to STFU and tells Team Fuck Me to go secure all the entrance.
Sam finally chimes in and tells the boys about "one more" entrance.
Reaper gives an angsty look before naming the archeological dig entrance. Where's my Reaper backstory?! RAR!
Back in the Ark Chamber of Bordem, Mac decides to give Pinky some balls and hands him a ST grenade and a hand gun. Pinky is not happy about that.
But Mac seems happy to join the rest of Team Screwed. Too bad he is DOOMED! So what if that pun was intended?
Back in the infirmary, Sam is doing an autopsy on the monster, while Duke is hitting on her and sniffing her. I'm not even joking. He starts sniffing her in this scene. It boggles my mind on how lame this movie is.
Obviously, Sam agrees with me that Duke is pathetic and sends him out to get a power bone saw in another room down the hall.
Back in the main hall, tension runs high when Pottymouth wants to munity. So they handle this issue like men and all eyefuck each other...
RAWR!! F33R M3, BIOTCH!!!
Pottyface pees his pants. I think he's been around Pansyboy too long...
In the Infirmary of Death, Sam suddenly thinks it was a bad idea to make Duke leave her alone in the room, especially when the lights keep going on and off.
So she decides to go outside all ALONE to look for Duke. ZOMG! You're supposed to be an uber-genius like your brother. Use your brain dammit!*facepalm*
She calls Duke's name a couple times, and predictably no one answers and she panics. This is when I wish she would trip herself and just die, but we know that won't happen because she's Reaper's sister and the movie is only half way done.
Of course, Duke pops out of the corner. Scares Sam to death, or at least, I wished she had an heart attack and died... Anywhoo...
So on the way back they find a nice little doggie. Okay, not so nice. But before Duke can ask if he can keep it...
...this bigger doggie wanted to tear his guts out play!
Sam screams. Duke hauls ass. I'm wondering when is the next Reaper scene is.
Monster gets stuck in the Nanowall, but still manages to shoot it's 10-foot tongue across the room. Blech.
And Duke gets lucky and explains why he hates Nanowalls.
At the Archeological Dig of Angst, Reaper!Eyes! Reaper has a mental flashback of when he was Baby!Reaper and apparenty his Mommy and Daddy Reaper died from falling rocks in the dig site. And that is the end of Reaper backstory. I feel gypped. Will the screenwriter stand up so I can beat you senseless with a stupid stick?
Ahhh, Mac I knew him...
...when he had a head... Seriously, the poor guy. He didn't do ANYTHING in the movie and lost his head.
Reaper and Sarge chases after Mac's killer back into the building.
Sarge orders everyone to split up and he's going to get something with more "kick." Obviously, Reaper is thinking the samething as me and thinking "Say what?!"
Remember this hand from three hours ago? Yeah, it's still there.
In the Land of the Dead, Sam and Duke are playing Operation on the monster, and Goat even when dead is a voyeur.
Feeling left out, Dead!Goat gets depressed and tries to knock himself out with some major head banging.
And Sam screams on cue every time Goat hits the glass pane. To be honest, this scene is actually hilarious to me.
Dark hallway#I Don't Care Anymore: Pottymouth announces he needs to take a shit.
Destroyer: The fuck?
Me: Please dunk your head in the toilet and DIE already!
BFG Armory: Remember that hand? Well, Sarge stole the hand to access the BFG. I think this appendage had more screen time than Mac.*sigh*
BFG, yo!
Sarge totally orgasms when he touches the BFG.
Down in the Gutter, Shit for Brains finds the bathroom, which totally reminds me of the bathroom of my local public park. *twitch*
And he actually goes into a stall and sits down, but there is a God and he squeals for more reinforcements.
Meanwhile, Destroyer gets thrown down into the Death Match Pit by...
...this fulgy mofo.
Fugly Monster goes RAWR!!
Destoyer goes RAWR back at ya!!
Monster goes RWWWAAAARRRR!!!!
Destroyer whimpers and...
...jumps up the nearest chain to get out of there.
On to Part 3
Back to Part 1
Sam: Uh... sure...
*Carmack tears his ear off* Sam: ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!111!!!eleventyone!!! Not literally!!
Reaper makes the cutest faces, doesn't he? *wibbles*
After everyone has been grossed out by Carmack's Van Gogh impression, everyone wanders down the dark hallways again.
Dark hallway #31743: Portman tells Pansyboy that his lipstick is a total turn on. Seriously, can this boy look even more NOT a boy Special Ops?
Anyways in an attempt to show that Kid is a "badass" he asks Potman for "some." To which, Potman provides drugs that look like lime-green Skittles. Gives a whole new meaning to "Taste the Rainbow."
Reaper and Goat search another dark room.
And Reaper is totally wishing he had some night vision goggles.
Apparently, so does Goat... because he literally just kicked the bucket.
Thunk...
...thunk...
A million thunks later... it rolls to a stop.
Aw, Gawd dammit! Argh!
Because I used God's name in vain I will proceed to...
...do some self-multilation.
Reaper: .......
Me: .......
Dumb and Dumber end up in the women's locker room...
...and finds a nekkid wh0re lady. In movies like this, Nekkid lady=EV0L!
See! EV0L!!!
Shits and Giggles stop drooling long enough to kill the monster lady and tell us they found "rest of the arm."
Back at somewhere where the lights are working, Duke has to carry One-Earred Carmack, and pees his pants when he sees a "Nanowall".
Sam knows that Duke is her bitch right now and orders him to go through the Nanowall to secure the infirmary.
Duke knowing that he's Sam's bitch, agrees and tries to reclaim his balls back.
This is Duke trying to reclaim his balls back.
I've seen this movie more times that I want to admit, and I still have no clue where this chick came from. And I don't really care and neither should you.
After getting Carmack on a bed, Carmack grabs Sam and does his best Bela Lugosi impression.
Sam and I are not impressed.
Back at the Genetics Lab all the animals have been splatterd on the wall... *twitch* And Reaper and Goat find...
...this guy. *twitch twitch*
Reaper is not impressed with the guys bad table manners.
The guy continues to gross Reaper and me out by slurping his Mouse à la carte. *twitch squirm twitch*
OMGWTF?!!111!mylittlephony!!!11!! GROSS!!!11oneone!!!
Mouse man takes this chance to attack our boys...
...of course, he loses. *points and laughs at him*
Dark hallway #I've lost count: Destroyer and Sarge hear something in the vents.
And what do the Muscle Beach twins do? Stick their heads up in the vent.
One thing I learned from watching a lot of B-movies, is that, it is ALWAYS a bad idea!
See! BAD IDEA!
Luckily, Destroyer's got supa-falling reflexes and blasts "it" away while falling on his ass.
Sarge: WTF was it?
Destroyer: It was Marcel the Monkey!
Sarge: ........
Why do people in movies feel the need to touch blood that is contaminated with stuff? *twitch*
Back in the infirmary, more blood with chocolate chip in it... *vomits*
Sam: What's happening to Carmack?
Random lady: How the hell would I know? I'm just here to try and build sympathy in the audience.
Audience: Just DIE already!
Back in Dark city, Reaper chases "something big" down into the stinky sewers.
*happy sigh* Only Reaper can wade in waste and still look this HAWT. RAR!
Pottymouth realizes that he's so dirty that taking a bath in sewer water might actually improve his appearance.
Obviously, not...
However, Reaper manages to look even sexier when he's wet. Yes, I am ignoring the fact that they are in the sewers. Lalalalala
Gratuitous Hot Reaper Pic #203. The blue light makes Reaper even prettier! Guh!
Everyone splits off to different directions to look for the "thing," and Reaper is stuck with Pansyboy who can't seem to STFU about how his parents ditched him when he was a kid!
Reaper, like me, is annoyed and finally pins him against the wall and tells him to STFU!!!
As Reaper STFUs Pantswetter, he notices Kid is a druggie, and he gets even more pissed. I spontaneously combust from all that Reaper testostrone.
Meanwhile, Goat's ONLY flashlight dies on him, how cliché. So he think he sees something.
Goat: Doctor Willits?
I guess not! AHHHHHHH!
The monster then gives Goat and NASTY hickey with it's equal vomit inducing tongue. I will spare you all that picture, because I don't want to see it again.
Reaper being the awesome that he is comes in time to blow a lot of holes in the monster and kills him...it...whatever.
Team We're So Fucked runs back through the main hall and order an immediate evacuation. All the while freaking out all the nerds by dragging Goat's bloody body around.
So they all get to the infirmary and try to revive Goat, everyone angsts. Just hearing Reaper say the words "clear" before defibbing, jump starts my fangirly heart.
Alas, Goat isn't a fangirl and remains dead. *sigh*
Now Sarge F33R My Scary Eyes is beyond pissed and asks Sam WTF are they doing up here?!! RAWR!
Sam says something about being archeologist and harmless research or did she just say "What?!" Anyways, I'm too busy staring at Reaper ass angsting in the background. *las*
Sarge: This is "WHAT?" Is it just me or does that look like someone's Thanksgiving dinner gone very, very wrong?
Sam: OMGWTFBBQ!! What is that?!!
Audience: It's the monster, DUH!
Reaper finally finishes angsting and informs us that that wasn't the thing he and Goat saw.
Portman starts to freak out. Sarge tells him to STFU and tells Team Fuck Me to go secure all the entrance.
Sam finally chimes in and tells the boys about "one more" entrance.
Reaper gives an angsty look before naming the archeological dig entrance. Where's my Reaper backstory?! RAR!
Back in the Ark Chamber of Bordem, Mac decides to give Pinky some balls and hands him a ST grenade and a hand gun. Pinky is not happy about that.
But Mac seems happy to join the rest of Team Screwed. Too bad he is DOOMED! So what if that pun was intended?
Back in the infirmary, Sam is doing an autopsy on the monster, while Duke is hitting on her and sniffing her. I'm not even joking. He starts sniffing her in this scene. It boggles my mind on how lame this movie is.
Obviously, Sam agrees with me that Duke is pathetic and sends him out to get a power bone saw in another room down the hall.
Back in the main hall, tension runs high when Pottymouth wants to munity. So they handle this issue like men and all eyefuck each other...
RAWR!! F33R M3, BIOTCH!!!
Pottyface pees his pants. I think he's been around Pansyboy too long...
In the Infirmary of Death, Sam suddenly thinks it was a bad idea to make Duke leave her alone in the room, especially when the lights keep going on and off.
So she decides to go outside all ALONE to look for Duke. ZOMG! You're supposed to be an uber-genius like your brother. Use your brain dammit!*facepalm*
She calls Duke's name a couple times, and predictably no one answers and she panics. This is when I wish she would trip herself and just die, but we know that won't happen because she's Reaper's sister and the movie is only half way done.
Of course, Duke pops out of the corner. Scares Sam to death, or at least, I wished she had an heart attack and died... Anywhoo...
So on the way back they find a nice little doggie. Okay, not so nice. But before Duke can ask if he can keep it...
...this bigger doggie wanted to tear his guts out play!
Sam screams. Duke hauls ass. I'm wondering when is the next Reaper scene is.
Monster gets stuck in the Nanowall, but still manages to shoot it's 10-foot tongue across the room. Blech.
And Duke gets lucky and explains why he hates Nanowalls.
At the Archeological Dig of Angst, Reaper!Eyes! Reaper has a mental flashback of when he was Baby!Reaper and apparenty his Mommy and Daddy Reaper died from falling rocks in the dig site. And that is the end of Reaper backstory. I feel gypped. Will the screenwriter stand up so I can beat you senseless with a stupid stick?
Ahhh, Mac I knew him...
...when he had a head... Seriously, the poor guy. He didn't do ANYTHING in the movie and lost his head.
Reaper and Sarge chases after Mac's killer back into the building.
Sarge orders everyone to split up and he's going to get something with more "kick." Obviously, Reaper is thinking the samething as me and thinking "Say what?!"
Remember this hand from three hours ago? Yeah, it's still there.
In the Land of the Dead, Sam and Duke are playing Operation on the monster, and Goat even when dead is a voyeur.
Feeling left out, Dead!Goat gets depressed and tries to knock himself out with some major head banging.
And Sam screams on cue every time Goat hits the glass pane. To be honest, this scene is actually hilarious to me.
Dark hallway#I Don't Care Anymore: Pottymouth announces he needs to take a shit.
Destroyer: The fuck?
Me: Please dunk your head in the toilet and DIE already!
BFG Armory: Remember that hand? Well, Sarge stole the hand to access the BFG. I think this appendage had more screen time than Mac.*sigh*
BFG, yo!
Sarge totally orgasms when he touches the BFG.
Down in the Gutter, Shit for Brains finds the bathroom, which totally reminds me of the bathroom of my local public park. *twitch*
And he actually goes into a stall and sits down, but there is a God and he squeals for more reinforcements.
Meanwhile, Destroyer gets thrown down into the Death Match Pit by...
...this fulgy mofo.
Fugly Monster goes RAWR!!
Destoyer goes RAWR back at ya!!
Monster goes RWWWAAAARRRR!!!!
Destroyer whimpers and...
...jumps up the nearest chain to get out of there.
On to Part 3
Back to Part 1