DOOM Pic Recap - Part 1
I spent the last two weeks working on this DOOM picspam recap because I was avoiding fic writing and SGA fandom in general, and I'm just thankful that it's OVER!
I'm separating this into three parts because I'm nice like that, and because I ended up with 350+ caps for this spam. (Yes, I'm insane. Thank you very much.)I totally blame Mspooh for this.
WARNINGS:Because this movie is called "DOOM: Unrated". There is definitely lots of blood and gore and random appendages floating around. So if you are squicky about blood and gore, you might want to pass. But if you're a true Karl Urban fan, suck it up!
And this is NOT DIAL UP FRIENDLY!!
EDIT: I fixed the html so the only two or three people who wants to read this can now. =P
Because this is a Sci-Fi movie here is the obligatory sequined curtain night sky.
Universal Logo Martianized! Cool, huh? Yeah... I didn’t think so either.
Location: Olduvai.
The first time I watched this I seriously heard "Old dude, I?"
Look! Red-shirt #572 is running away in terror! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Red-shirt #245 was bound to die on the get go, because he was way too out of shape to out run whatever was chasing him.
This is Doc Carmack. He ran into this lab to hide. He's SO going to die!
This is somce chick who's going to lend Doc Carmack a hand...
...literally.
Carmack: ...
Me: *cringe*
Guys in audience: AWESOME!
Me: *facepalm*
It's Thing making its cameo in DOOM! Er, okay, maybe not.
Carmack starts to Play Doom 3 send a message for help on his lappy.
ZOMG! The game is SOOOO realistic that the monster breaks through the doors and...
Self-explanatory titles... gotta love 'em. *wink*
Location: Bunker of Hot Men with Big Guns.
Yo! Semper Fi, Motherfuckers! It's all about the ArmPr0n! RWAR!
Let's introduce the Rapid Response Tactical Squad (RRTS) AKA Really Really Testosterone Saturated Team... supposedly.
Sergeant ArmChestPr0n AKA Sarge.
John “Reaper” Grimm AKA Hot-that-guy-needs-to-take-his-shirt-off-NOW-but-won’t! *sobs*
Mac AKA Token-Asian-Guy-with-red-shirt-written-all-over-his-face, and he sorta looks like Dean Cain.
Destroyer AKA Destroyer, because that bat he's carrying makes him look uber-scary.
Portman AKA Sick-bastard-that-Reaper-should-shoot-with-the-gun-he’s-assembling.
Goat AKA Jesus freak, who is actually kinda hot. Lalalala
Duke AKA Duke of Bad Pickup Lines!
The Kid AKA Pansyboy Bedwetter.
Sarge ArmPr0n struts down to tell his boys that vacation time is over (it hasn't even started yet) and it’s time to get blown up blow stuff up in Mars!
Team Screwed But Doesn’t Know It Yet: HUZZAH!
Reaper glees that he gets to show off his big gun! And look Reaper Armpr0n!
Sarge ArmPr0n is not happy with the competition and tells Reaper he can't go.
Reaper does his cute head-tilt smirk that no hot-blooded woman can resist and says Sergeant ArmPr0n is bullshitting him. Just gotta love how Reaper is an American that tends to slip into a Kiwi accent. *snickers*
Sarge: You’ve got an Old Dude’s Eye for clothing, yo. Your Armpr0n can’t compare to mine. RAWR!
Reaper: ...
Sarge: Er, we’re going to Olduvai.
Reaper: Oh...
Me: ZOMG! Reaper!angst *thud*
After Team Big Guns gets on the chopper and orgasms over their weapons, Sarge asks if they are ready to die go?
Goat, the only one who was paying attention, WTFs Sarge's Freudian slip.
Fangirls: Karl!hand! *faints*
Slashers: ZOMG! Sarge/Reaper handholding! *faints*
Me: *lalalalalala* Karl!hand! *faints*
Reaper: You can’t leave me. You need me to get the fangirls to watch this stupid movie, yo!
Fangirls: Damn right!
Slashers: It’s the look of LURV!
Me: ..............
I continue to ignore the slash anvils and focus on Reaper’s sexy face! RAWR!
ZOMGWTF?!!!!Mylittlepony!!!111!! Sarge totally checks out Reaper’s ass as he walks by...
...and he SMILES! *dies from a ginormous slashy anvil* My heart weeps...
Obviously, Reaper is disturbed by that as much as me, because he looks like he's going to puke... *luffs Reaper*
Sarge ArmPr0n starts the briefing, and we all see Carmack’s mad scientist face on the screen.
While everyone is paying attention to Sarge talking, Reaper is off in Lala Land.
Two hours later, Kid and Mac are falling asleep, and Reaper is still in Lala Land.
Sarge is kind of pissed off that Reaper wasn’t paying attention to is awesome debriefing and is ready to bitch slap him.
But because no one can resist the hotness that is Reaper!Angst...
Instead Sarge asks, “Waddup, yo?”
Reaper: "She" is still up there.
At this point, everyone is like who is "she?" I want Reaper background, dammit!
Reaper: Gotta face my demons sometimes. *proceeds to look incredibly hawt again*
Sarge: Did someone say demons? *evil grin*
It cracks me up when cheesy movies try to foreshadow things.
Reaper: ..........
Reaper: Er, are we there yet?
Location: Middle of the Nevada desert in the middle of the night.
So they all jump out of the chopper and pose for their...
HERO SHOT!
Question: How many people stand in V-formation while waitng for an elevator?
Anyways, the elalator of DOOM appears from the ground. Dun dun dun!!
Kid: I think I just peed my pants.
Sarge yells at Kid for being not only a pantswetter but also being a slowass and hates on him.
Audience: Should have closed the elevator door on him when you had to chance.
The age old elevator problem: Who farted?!
Don’t let the sexy Reaper!Eyes fool you. It’s really a cry for help. Those silent stinkers are deadly!
Elalator of DOOM go down the hooole!
Location: A million feet underground AKA Ark facility
Not!Important guy: Hello.
Sarge Big Gun: Do I look like I'm going to shakehands with a geek like you?
Not!Important guy: Er... Don't eat me! follow me?
Everyone follows Not!Important guy to the Ark AKA Teh Blob.
Not!Important guy: So who’s first?
Because Reaper was in Lala Land eariler,Sarge volunteers Reaper.
Reaper: Crap...
Pansyboy totally pees his pants again...
Reaper has a staring competition with Teh Blob.
Reaper totally loses. *facepalm*
Teh Blob sucks him in and shoots him to Mars as his reward for being a LOSER!
Location: Barf City, Mars
Team I Just Lost My Dinner meets Pinky. Narf! Hoyt!
PansyAss: Dude, he has no legs.
Reaper: He has no balls either.
PansyAss: Whoa... I don’t either!
Reaper: ..........
Hehe, Pinky!legs! For some reason, seeing these CGI legs makes me want to play The Sims 2. Go fig.
Team We Look Cool follows Sarge out of the Ark chamber into the main hall.
Leaving Mac behind. Poor guy. But, really, it's better in here... for now.
Pottymouth Portman attempts to hit on the girls. I was totally waiting for them to HIT him.
Samantha walks by and ignores Pottymouth’s Gollum impression.
Hi, I’m Doctor Samantha Grimm, and I’m the token breasts woman to attract guys to this movie.
Pfft! Don’t you know the power of fangirls? This movie will only make money because of me.
Whatever, I’m still the prettier twin.
Don’t make me laugh, woman.
Oh yeah? Why don’t you ask Sarge ArmPr0n?
Dude! STFU! She’s got boobies! She wins hands down!
Dammit!
Duke: Yo, she’s hawt! Yo wife?
Reaper: OMFG! She’s my sister! There is no incest here! Lalalalalala
You can’t see it here; but according to Sam’s boobies, it’s cold on Mars. Anyways, she leads Team Screwed to the Airlock.
As Sarge Armpr0n interrogates her, Reaper is in Lala land again. I’m starting to wonder if he has narcolepsy.
This Janitor Wannabe looks extremely bored as he replays the scream soundtrack to last year's Halloween party.
Apparently, boredom is contagious.
Reaper: Er, I wasn’t sleeping. I swear!
Sarge: Because you were sleeping you get to baby-sit your sister.
Reaper: Damn.
Sam: Er, actually, I’m older by two minutes.
Meanwhile, back at the Ark, Mac and Pinky have a staring competition because Mac is bored out of his EFFING mind.
Which Pinky totally misunderstands and thinks Mac is hitting on him.
Somewhere else: Sarge and Duke go down dark hallway #421.
Goat and Pottymouth end up in the Genetics Lab and find some weird shit.
Look! More dismembered hands! What is it with this director and dismembered hands?
Goat and Pottymouth end up at the death match pit.
Shit for Brains Portman decides to touch the walls and electrocutes himself. This is when I laugh and laugh and laugh.
Goat agrees, and kills me with the sexist non-Karl grin in this movie! *thud*
In the armory, Sergeant Big Guns wants a bigger gun.
Everyone, here is the BFG... No, not the Whizpopping Big Friendly Giant. It’s the Big Fucking Gun, yo!
Security door: Access denied.
Sarge: What you talking ‘bout, Willis?
Back in the Archeology Lab, Reaper is so bored he’s having a staring contest with...
...the side of Lucy and her dead kid’s skull.
Sam: Stop checking out the dead chick and come here.
Reaper is totally offended by that...
...and reminds us all how gorgeous he is.
Sam “whatevers” him and tells him to look at the computer.
Reaper: ...........
But because Reaper is really a closeted Supa-genius, he tells us that Lucy has 24 chromosomes instead of 23. Then Sam blah blahs about Chromosome 24 (C-24) being the Supa-chromosome.
In Hallway OMG! There Are Lights, someone sees something and the team chases after it.
"It" turns out to be Carmack clutching his new best friend. Teh Hand.
Which he just carelessly drops with he finds new food friends.
The way Sarge stares at the hand longingly intently is very disturbing to me.
Anyways, Sam comes in to tell Carmack to listen to her.
Carmack: You want me to lend you my ear?
On to Part 2
On to Part 3
I'm separating this into three parts because I'm nice like that, and because I ended up with 350+ caps for this spam. (Yes, I'm insane. Thank you very much.)I totally blame Mspooh for this.
WARNINGS:Because this movie is called "DOOM: Unrated". There is definitely lots of blood and gore and random appendages floating around. So if you are squicky about blood and gore, you might want to pass. But if you're a true Karl Urban fan, suck it up!
And this is NOT DIAL UP FRIENDLY!!
EDIT: I fixed the html so the only two or three people who wants to read this can now. =P
Because this is a Sci-Fi movie here is the obligatory sequined curtain night sky.
Universal Logo Martianized! Cool, huh? Yeah... I didn’t think so either.
Location: Olduvai.
The first time I watched this I seriously heard "Old dude, I?"
Look! Red-shirt #572 is running away in terror! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Red-shirt #245 was bound to die on the get go, because he was way too out of shape to out run whatever was chasing him.
This is Doc Carmack. He ran into this lab to hide. He's SO going to die!
This is somce chick who's going to lend Doc Carmack a hand...
...literally.
Carmack: ...
Me: *cringe*
Guys in audience: AWESOME!
Me: *facepalm*
It's Thing making its cameo in DOOM! Er, okay, maybe not.
Carmack starts to Play Doom 3 send a message for help on his lappy.
ZOMG! The game is SOOOO realistic that the monster breaks through the doors and...
Self-explanatory titles... gotta love 'em. *wink*
Location: Bunker of Hot Men with Big Guns.
Yo! Semper Fi, Motherfuckers! It's all about the ArmPr0n! RWAR!
Let's introduce the Rapid Response Tactical Squad (RRTS) AKA Really Really Testosterone Saturated Team... supposedly.
Sergeant ArmChestPr0n AKA Sarge.
John “Reaper” Grimm AKA Hot-that-guy-needs-to-take-his-shirt-off-NOW-but-won’t! *sobs*
Mac AKA Token-Asian-Guy-with-red-shirt-written-all-over-his-face, and he sorta looks like Dean Cain.
Destroyer AKA Destroyer, because that bat he's carrying makes him look uber-scary.
Portman AKA Sick-bastard-that-Reaper-should-shoot-with-the-gun-he’s-assembling.
Goat AKA Jesus freak, who is actually kinda hot. Lalalala
Duke AKA Duke of Bad Pickup Lines!
The Kid AKA Pansyboy Bedwetter.
Sarge ArmPr0n struts down to tell his boys that vacation time is over (it hasn't even started yet) and it’s time to get blown up blow stuff up in Mars!
Team Screwed But Doesn’t Know It Yet: HUZZAH!
Reaper glees that he gets to show off his big gun! And look Reaper Armpr0n!
Sarge ArmPr0n is not happy with the competition and tells Reaper he can't go.
Reaper does his cute head-tilt smirk that no hot-blooded woman can resist and says Sergeant ArmPr0n is bullshitting him. Just gotta love how Reaper is an American that tends to slip into a Kiwi accent. *snickers*
Sarge: You’ve got an Old Dude’s Eye for clothing, yo. Your Armpr0n can’t compare to mine. RAWR!
Reaper: ...
Sarge: Er, we’re going to Olduvai.
Reaper: Oh...
Me: ZOMG! Reaper!angst *thud*
After Team Big Guns gets on the chopper and orgasms over their weapons, Sarge asks if they are ready to die go?
Goat, the only one who was paying attention, WTFs Sarge's Freudian slip.
Fangirls: Karl!hand! *faints*
Slashers: ZOMG! Sarge/Reaper handholding! *faints*
Me: *lalalalalala* Karl!hand! *faints*
Reaper: You can’t leave me. You need me to get the fangirls to watch this stupid movie, yo!
Fangirls: Damn right!
Slashers: It’s the look of LURV!
Me: ..............
I continue to ignore the slash anvils and focus on Reaper’s sexy face! RAWR!
ZOMGWTF?!!!!Mylittlepony!!!111!! Sarge totally checks out Reaper’s ass as he walks by...
...and he SMILES! *dies from a ginormous slashy anvil* My heart weeps...
Obviously, Reaper is disturbed by that as much as me, because he looks like he's going to puke... *luffs Reaper*
Sarge ArmPr0n starts the briefing, and we all see Carmack’s mad scientist face on the screen.
While everyone is paying attention to Sarge talking, Reaper is off in Lala Land.
Two hours later, Kid and Mac are falling asleep, and Reaper is still in Lala Land.
Sarge is kind of pissed off that Reaper wasn’t paying attention to is awesome debriefing and is ready to bitch slap him.
But because no one can resist the hotness that is Reaper!Angst...
Instead Sarge asks, “Waddup, yo?”
Reaper: "She" is still up there.
At this point, everyone is like who is "she?" I want Reaper background, dammit!
Reaper: Gotta face my demons sometimes. *proceeds to look incredibly hawt again*
Sarge: Did someone say demons? *evil grin*
It cracks me up when cheesy movies try to foreshadow things.
Reaper: ..........
Reaper: Er, are we there yet?
Location: Middle of the Nevada desert in the middle of the night.
So they all jump out of the chopper and pose for their...
HERO SHOT!
Question: How many people stand in V-formation while waitng for an elevator?
Anyways, the elalator of DOOM appears from the ground. Dun dun dun!!
Kid: I think I just peed my pants.
Sarge yells at Kid for being not only a pantswetter but also being a slowass and hates on him.
Audience: Should have closed the elevator door on him when you had to chance.
The age old elevator problem: Who farted?!
Don’t let the sexy Reaper!Eyes fool you. It’s really a cry for help. Those silent stinkers are deadly!
Elalator of DOOM go down the hooole!
Location: A million feet underground AKA Ark facility
Not!Important guy: Hello.
Sarge Big Gun: Do I look like I'm going to shakehands with a geek like you?
Not!Important guy: Er... Don't eat me! follow me?
Everyone follows Not!Important guy to the Ark AKA Teh Blob.
Not!Important guy: So who’s first?
Because Reaper was in Lala Land eariler,Sarge volunteers Reaper.
Reaper: Crap...
Pansyboy totally pees his pants again...
Reaper has a staring competition with Teh Blob.
Reaper totally loses. *facepalm*
Teh Blob sucks him in and shoots him to Mars as his reward for being a LOSER!
Location: Barf City, Mars
Team I Just Lost My Dinner meets Pinky. Narf! Hoyt!
PansyAss: Dude, he has no legs.
Reaper: He has no balls either.
PansyAss: Whoa... I don’t either!
Reaper: ..........
Hehe, Pinky!legs! For some reason, seeing these CGI legs makes me want to play The Sims 2. Go fig.
Team We Look Cool follows Sarge out of the Ark chamber into the main hall.
Leaving Mac behind. Poor guy. But, really, it's better in here... for now.
Pottymouth Portman attempts to hit on the girls. I was totally waiting for them to HIT him.
Samantha walks by and ignores Pottymouth’s Gollum impression.
Hi, I’m Doctor Samantha Grimm, and I’m the token breasts woman to attract guys to this movie.
Pfft! Don’t you know the power of fangirls? This movie will only make money because of me.
Whatever, I’m still the prettier twin.
Don’t make me laugh, woman.
Oh yeah? Why don’t you ask Sarge ArmPr0n?
Dude! STFU! She’s got boobies! She wins hands down!
Dammit!
Duke: Yo, she’s hawt! Yo wife?
Reaper: OMFG! She’s my sister! There is no incest here! Lalalalalala
You can’t see it here; but according to Sam’s boobies, it’s cold on Mars. Anyways, she leads Team Screwed to the Airlock.
As Sarge Armpr0n interrogates her, Reaper is in Lala land again. I’m starting to wonder if he has narcolepsy.
This Janitor Wannabe looks extremely bored as he replays the scream soundtrack to last year's Halloween party.
Apparently, boredom is contagious.
Reaper: Er, I wasn’t sleeping. I swear!
Sarge: Because you were sleeping you get to baby-sit your sister.
Reaper: Damn.
Sam: Er, actually, I’m older by two minutes.
Meanwhile, back at the Ark, Mac and Pinky have a staring competition because Mac is bored out of his EFFING mind.
Which Pinky totally misunderstands and thinks Mac is hitting on him.
Somewhere else: Sarge and Duke go down dark hallway #421.
Goat and Pottymouth end up in the Genetics Lab and find some weird shit.
Look! More dismembered hands! What is it with this director and dismembered hands?
Goat and Pottymouth end up at the death match pit.
Shit for Brains Portman decides to touch the walls and electrocutes himself. This is when I laugh and laugh and laugh.
Goat agrees, and kills me with the sexist non-Karl grin in this movie! *thud*
In the armory, Sergeant Big Guns wants a bigger gun.
Everyone, here is the BFG... No, not the Whizpopping Big Friendly Giant. It’s the Big Fucking Gun, yo!
Security door: Access denied.
Sarge: What you talking ‘bout, Willis?
Back in the Archeology Lab, Reaper is so bored he’s having a staring contest with...
...the side of Lucy and her dead kid’s skull.
Sam: Stop checking out the dead chick and come here.
Reaper is totally offended by that...
...and reminds us all how gorgeous he is.
Sam “whatevers” him and tells him to look at the computer.
Reaper: ...........
But because Reaper is really a closeted Supa-genius, he tells us that Lucy has 24 chromosomes instead of 23. Then Sam blah blahs about Chromosome 24 (C-24) being the Supa-chromosome.
In Hallway OMG! There Are Lights, someone sees something and the team chases after it.
"It" turns out to be Carmack clutching his new best friend. Teh Hand.
Which he just carelessly drops with he finds new food friends.
The way Sarge stares at the hand longingly intently is very disturbing to me.
Anyways, Sam comes in to tell Carmack to listen to her.
Carmack: You want me to lend you my ear?
On to Part 2
On to Part 3