I'm single.
Amanda is in love with Raven.
In December she asked me "can't I have both of you", and I said yes, provisionally given that my sole problem with polyamory/polygamy is if I feel excluded or ignored.
Since then she's paid less and less attention to me, and in January announced she was going to get married to him in the summer (if only so he could stay in the country being a UK citizen).
I felt ignored, so a few weeks ago we had a chat, without any solutions, but it being clear from my point of view that I needed some attention applied to me so as to not feel excluded.
In the intervening time the only interaction between myself and Amanda has been 99% when I initiated it, and most of the time when this was me going into the spare room (which she moved herself into a month or more ago, complete with futon to sleep separately from me) I was getting the vibe that she'd rather I not be there.
This morning I got up, showered, and actually feeling ok to do it, went out to Woolwich for some essential toiletries. Yes, we'd yesterday discussed doing this together, but I had no way to know if she'd be up for it, and didn't want to wait anyway, being in a sufficiently anxiety-free mood at the time.
When I got back she asked where I'd been, I calmly and clearly explained, and she went back to ignoring me in her room.
When challenged about this, and the fact that yesterday I'd commented that she spent a LOT more time talking to Raven online than me at all she said "of course". I again explained that I needed some attention, and that I only got any if I initiated it. I asked if there was any chance of this changing, the answer was "no". My only reply then could be "Ok, I'm single".
Well, at least this one lasted 2.5 years or so, a record for me.
Now I'm off to plot my demise.
In December she asked me "can't I have both of you", and I said yes, provisionally given that my sole problem with polyamory/polygamy is if I feel excluded or ignored.
Since then she's paid less and less attention to me, and in January announced she was going to get married to him in the summer (if only so he could stay in the country being a UK citizen).
I felt ignored, so a few weeks ago we had a chat, without any solutions, but it being clear from my point of view that I needed some attention applied to me so as to not feel excluded.
In the intervening time the only interaction between myself and Amanda has been 99% when I initiated it, and most of the time when this was me going into the spare room (which she moved herself into a month or more ago, complete with futon to sleep separately from me) I was getting the vibe that she'd rather I not be there.
This morning I got up, showered, and actually feeling ok to do it, went out to Woolwich for some essential toiletries. Yes, we'd yesterday discussed doing this together, but I had no way to know if she'd be up for it, and didn't want to wait anyway, being in a sufficiently anxiety-free mood at the time.
When I got back she asked where I'd been, I calmly and clearly explained, and she went back to ignoring me in her room.
When challenged about this, and the fact that yesterday I'd commented that she spent a LOT more time talking to Raven online than me at all she said "of course". I again explained that I needed some attention, and that I only got any if I initiated it. I asked if there was any chance of this changing, the answer was "no". My only reply then could be "Ok, I'm single".
Well, at least this one lasted 2.5 years or so, a record for me.
Now I'm off to plot my demise.