shitty mood......
i have been under a bit of weight here at the house. im not bitching about it life happens that way.
though it has left me no time to post and let out how i am feeling
i find this outlet of posting to be helpful in removing stress and when i cant it can build up inside untill i feel i am going to explode
i have a few things i need to get done for Sir. alot of things needing to be done for school. and shit here at the house. plus the crap with the car.
the fact that i can not cum is also building.
i hate that even when i play with the clit it is not like it would be easy to just cum from doing that. i hate when women have this ultra sensitive clit. wtf? why cant mine be on at least some kind of level. shit i could play with that fucker for a while and nota a thing happens. fucking pisses me off to no end i tell ya.
i wanted to beg to beat myself yesterday..but i didnt.
it feels contridicting to want it and yet know it is also used for punishment. but the pressure inside is so high. the feeling that my insides and having so much force pressed against them.
a fucking great and fucking wonderful life
a great and wonderful lover
a great and beatiful friend
a perfect life with out no end
a disalusioned lover
a lier ,never true even in the end
dissastified with all things , never finding comfort in anything
the missing peice found though it cant be used
my mind is running so much is confused
i cant relate and i want to hate
i want to smash his pretty face
fucking man fucking asshole
lie to me more make it all so simple
one thing is clear
i can see through these tears
it is never going to be all that is in the dream
i can see through the smoke
it is all just a joke
laugh at me
call me names tear me down i have no pain
rip me apart and spit on me for i am nothing if i am left to be free
hold me down but let me walk
i hate this feeling that is ripping me apart
i hate this thing sealed in my heart
i hate this thing inside of my brain
never leaving driving me insane
no it is not perfect no it is not safe
no it is not stable and secure and sane
it is something i truly hate
though it has left me no time to post and let out how i am feeling
i find this outlet of posting to be helpful in removing stress and when i cant it can build up inside untill i feel i am going to explode
i have a few things i need to get done for Sir. alot of things needing to be done for school. and shit here at the house. plus the crap with the car.
the fact that i can not cum is also building.
i hate that even when i play with the clit it is not like it would be easy to just cum from doing that. i hate when women have this ultra sensitive clit. wtf? why cant mine be on at least some kind of level. shit i could play with that fucker for a while and nota a thing happens. fucking pisses me off to no end i tell ya.
i wanted to beg to beat myself yesterday..but i didnt.
it feels contridicting to want it and yet know it is also used for punishment. but the pressure inside is so high. the feeling that my insides and having so much force pressed against them.
a fucking great and fucking wonderful life
a great and wonderful lover
a great and beatiful friend
a perfect life with out no end
a disalusioned lover
a lier ,never true even in the end
dissastified with all things , never finding comfort in anything
the missing peice found though it cant be used
my mind is running so much is confused
i cant relate and i want to hate
i want to smash his pretty face
fucking man fucking asshole
lie to me more make it all so simple
one thing is clear
i can see through these tears
it is never going to be all that is in the dream
i can see through the smoke
it is all just a joke
laugh at me
call me names tear me down i have no pain
rip me apart and spit on me for i am nothing if i am left to be free
hold me down but let me walk
i hate this feeling that is ripping me apart
i hate this thing sealed in my heart
i hate this thing inside of my brain
never leaving driving me insane
no it is not perfect no it is not safe
no it is not stable and secure and sane
it is something i truly hate