this is then..what is now
people , places , life , troubles, pain, happiness, even the greatest things dont turn out always like we think
it is what you do to accept the changes and how you flow with them that makes us who we are.
if you bend and break with every change are you really who you think
if everything weighs you down and your stumbled by pain, is it so surpising to you to see it be that way.
you allow think to consume and engluf you then who are you to shout out blame.
no one nothing an be forced to change if it is unwilling, it will just break.
DONT ALWAYS BELIEVE WHAT you THNK, BECAUSE YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT ALWAYS TRUE.
all people lie , it is just a fact of life, i havent seen the opposite ever be true.
so i had to drive alot yesterday ..eight hours almost and i thought about this whole trust thing.
this statement
"you are slave, you can trust me"
"i do"
"if you did completly then you would be more obeident"
he is right as he is most times
yes i am always in search of more than what the outside of something is...even in statements that maybe dont need it.
i had to take this one apart, disect it with my nimble mind.
so i should trust because i am slave and this trust should be complete and whole hearted and i should never feel reserve or hold back.
but why? i had to search for my answer because this statement is not so simple for me.
maybe the complete trust lies in the fact that i have chosen this master and because my soul feels bound to him i should trust him to the gates of hell and as he walks through i should follow.
but trust is a tender fragile easily broken thing.
but if i am slave it is not longer mine to chose if i am to give it or recive it it is owned by the keeper of my soul.
so why is it so hard to surender?
so because i have chose this one..and yet i feel my soul deep within has made the choice for me.....
i am to release this trust with a uninhibited nature and never be concerned if the trust is ever returned. or abused. or treated with a kind and gental hand and handled like the fragile thing it is. i am just to be open because i am slave.
does my hinderance make me a bad slave? does it mean i am truly not slave because i keep a guard always watching and waiting for the next hammer to drop on my head?
how can i explain how i have opened up so much of my emotional self yet and still hold back, but in the opening that no other person has ever seen i have give so much trust.
and i dont always understand how to open up the rest ...
and it is hard for me because of the circumstances