Happy Easter, Have Some Sex

[ask_aboutcoffee]

We got a report from Torchwood Two this afternoon of Greys in Snowdonia National Park, on Snowdon itself (the lower levels, which is even more worrying) (at least I think that's what he said, Archie has kind of a strong burr). It's possible there was a spacecraft crash or some kind of tourist package -- Earth on Three Credits a Day! -- but either

Comments

[horcrionebay]

Maybe you should host a "How to understand sarcasm" class and surreptitiously invite Gwen.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I'm sure she'd completely get the message.

(See? Look how good I am at it! I'm unappreciated in my own time.)

[horcrionebay]

Ah, well, perhaps you need to be blunt about it.

You can even be effectively sarcastic on the internet! That takes some skills.

[smirnoffmule]

Ironically, then she'd probably think he was being sarcastic.

I think a wiser course of action is to invent some secret code for all the times when you're not being sarcastic. Like standing on one leg, or tweaking your ear, or rubbing your belly. You may feel a bit silly, but at least not for very long or very often.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I don't see why we can't just assume I'm always being sarcastic. Of course then people wouldn't pay any atten....

Well, that wouldn't be much of a change.

[ask_captainjack]

I totally think you should rub your belly when you're talking to us. I'd pay a lot more attention!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Yes, but not to what I was saying.

See, watch. I'm doing it now.

Now, tell me what I just said.

[ask_captainjack]

You said 'lick my belly Captain Jack'. I can't Ianto, what kind of demand is that to make during working hours? I'm working, doing the work of a team leader over here. I'll lick your belly later. Stop begging me with your rubbing action. You're practically hollering in CAPSLOCK. Siren!

[ask_aboutcoffee]

I said Your paperwork has to get done before the weekend or I'm going to tie you to the desk.

See? No belly rubbing. Well, not during working hours.

[xtricks]

I'm not really sure how tying Jack to his desk would actually cause him to get any work done.

There'd be you ... with rope ... tying him up ...

I certianly wouldn't get any work done in that situation.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Well, it would keep him still while I used him as a blotter and finished his paperwork for him. And he'd be handy, in case I needed to jot some notes or ask him a question.

I have a very inventive imagination.

[ask_captainjack]

I can be very handy indeed! Plus, I prefer to dictate. Ianto's very quick with his little notebook. You might think: "Captain Jack, how do you maintain your dignity while tied to a desk?"

It's part of the unalterable air of gravitas and authority that I have as a leader. People are always saying: "You're so commanding, even trussed up!" I'm always hollering: "I KNOW!"